St. Trump of the Holy Duckface

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve said all along that Donald Trump hasn’t got a chance of winning the Evangelicals, and without them he can’t get the GOP nomination. While a lot of wise people have argued this point, I was still unconvinced. Until now.

Trump is willing to entertain any level of hypocrisy, and to stand by while wanna-be televangelists (one of whom appears to be a Rabbi? It’s confusing . . .) use his name and position to get themselves on camera and try to look like leaders. What follows is a level of hand-waving and verbal diarrhea that I haven’t seen since Oral Roberts came down from his prayer tower saying God would “call him home” if he didn’t get $5 million in donations.

Oral got $9 million. Trump may get his nomination yet.

Watch his face as he tries not to shake free of this surreal group and run screaming. Its priceless.

2

I think that word is spelled with an “F”.

3

Which one?

4

I think that was a Messianic Jew.

5

Pretty sure we’re referring to “Duckface” here, although that would be two F’s. And I don’t give two . . . oh never mind.

6

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, does it _uck like a _uck?

These are hard days to be a moderate Republican. You can choose between the huckster, the person who cut the value of computing giant Hewlett Packard in half and hasn’t held a real job since, or the religious nutter who thinks that cavemen fought dinosaurs. It’s all enough to make Rand Paul seem like a rational centerist candidate.

Stranger

7

[quote=“TruCelt, post:1, topic:733581”]

Watch his face as he tries not to shake free of this surreal group and run screaming. Its priceless.

[/QUOTE] Wow. I bet he went through a big bottle of sanitizer after they turned the cameras off.

And he didn’t seem to realize at first that he was supposed to close his eyes and bow his head too.

8

I don’t think he realized that they were praying FOR him and not TO him.

Also, at about the 40 second mark, there is actually a guy asking God to send Trump a Magic Negro.

9

That was hilarious, and probably the one time I almost felt sorry for Trump, almost.

I particularly like at the start when the obviously white speaker prayed for god to find a “strong African American who can stand with him to represent that community”. Basically falling once again for the trope that if the Republicans could just put a token black guy on the ticket they would win the African American vote.

10

Yeah, “Bow my head? Close my eyes? They work for me!”

“The Jew touched my face! He’s probably been handling money! And you KNOW how dirty THAT stuff is!”

11

One could always support the dat duck from New Jersey.

12

[quote=“TruCelt, post:1, topic:733581”]

Watch his face as he tries not to shake free of this surreal group and run screaming. Its priceless.

[/QUOTE] Oh man that's the funniest thing I've seen all week. Did you see him drop that bible like a hot coal?
13

“And what the hell was that Jew talking about? Arabic name, Arabic name…”

14

[quote=“TruCelt, post:1, topic:733581”]

Watch his face as he tries not to shake free of this surreal group and run screaming. Its priceless.

[/QUOTE]

First thing I thought of:

Where is Charlton Heston when you need him? Worshipping a golden bull[del]shitter[/del] never ends well.

15

Welp, from now on, any tongue that speaks against Donald Trump is condemned. I guess prayers trump the First Amendment, so there ya go.

16

More a ant, really. Let me move it for you.

17

[quote=“TruCelt, post:1, topic:733581”]

…

[/QUOTE]

That’s hilarious, at 55 seconds he’s thinking: Damn. I thought this shit was over! How long is this gonna go on?

18

HA HA. SNL couldn’t have made a funnier video than this.

If prayer works, why don’t they ask “god” to end child abuse? Oh yeah, Then we would lose that FREE WILL option.

19

The Republican Party needs something to shake them up like the Democrats got at the 1964 National Convention. Organize the all the moderates to challenge the Republican party line like Blacks did with the Mississippi Freedom Democratic Party.

20

Yeah, cut taxes for the wealthy to screw the poor… in Jesus’ name! Fuck yeah! Build up the military and start more wars, just like W did… in Jesus’ name!! Divide the country along racial/ethnic lines, spread lies about the most vulnerable minorities, ignoring everything the Bible says about the treatment of sojourners… in Jesus’ name! Fuck. YEAH! Go forth and demagogue the credulous, easily led religious proles of America to impose an unwanted plutocratic agenda… in the name of Jesus!!!