I didn’t say that having money is an unattractive quality. But money isn’t as important as lonely men would like to pretend it is. Nothing stopping those lonely guys from taking on a second job if they think that will help them out, so it’s completely testable.
And that trope is getting elderly; this isn’t the 1950s. Many women are quite capable of taking care of and providing for themselves and earn more money than their partners. Poor, confident, friendly guys get plenty of attention, too. You could set up an anonymous poll or rating system that asks women what features are most attractive in a mate/date/one night stand/husband. If it’s an anonymous poll, women will tell you how important money is.
This is exactly how this conversation goes with guys - we’ve found common ground between men and women! You say you don’t like so-and-so, and guys start laying out scenarios and saying “c’mon, you’d hit that.”
I can see objectively why people find Ms. Jolie attractive, but since I’ve never found Jon Voight the least bit arousing, I’d have to pass on her hypothetical advances. Actually, the idea’s making me sort of queasy as I write this.
I’m not immune to beauty. My response in that scenario to Aisha Tyler would be different.
Wait, no it doesn’t. I’m 6’1" and am built more or less like a somewhat scaled down NFL lineman- big shoulders, big, long arms, wide neck, gut, etc…
I wouldn’t call myself unsuccessful with women, but if big shoulders and tall were all it took, I’d be up there with Wilt Chamberlain, and that’s definitely not the case.
Personally, I have a theory that women’s physical standards of beauty are more personal and idiosyncratic than those of men, so that’s why there aren’t any celebrity “hot” women who fall too far outside the standard mold, while the men tend to be farther apart in what women find attractive.
Possibly, and I think that is culturally influenced. Because women are “selling” sexy and men are “selling” protection, the specifics of what a man should look like are less well defined.
Anyway, as a straight woman, I’ve loved several men I didn’t find attractive, but was never attracted to a man I didn’t love. Happily my husband is the whole package.
I’m a straight male. I speak from experience when I tell you women need their men to have teeth.
I spent most of my teenage years missing a front tooth due to a motorcycle accident. Around 20-21 I finally got a dental implant.
When I did, the difference was like night and day. I started to get all kinds of attention from the ladies. It freaked me the hell out. In a pleasant way of course.
That’s possible. I don’t know how important lonely men pretend it is.
This is idiotic.
It’s not all women. But it’s a lot. And it’s not a practical consideration that I’m talking about. It’s a feeling.
Women who like men with strong arms and shoulders are not thinking that as a practical matter they are going to have to rely on their SO’s brute strength to get them through. But they like the feeling that they can.
People are not always in touch with their feelings.
Unfortunately for attractive men, physical attractiveness (in men) is not as big a deal for women as it (in women) is for men.
Number 1 is actually “great ass” (like a hockey player ass). THIS IS A SCIENCE FACT!
Anyway, there was a list above, to wit:
OK, the last three aren’t physical characteristics and were just included to spare feelings.
Also, the list is a little more twink-oriented than my own preferences.
Muscularity obviously is always helpful. I might swap size and definition in my own list.
Hairlessness is a turn off for me. As for youth, I tend to prefer with 6-8 years of my own age. Although, strictly physically, 22 and up is probably fine.
I prefer shorter to taller. Although not freakish short. In general, a mesomorphic is ideal. To extent one deviates, I prefer a bit bulkier (only a bit) to scrawnier.
I tend to prefer darker complexions. I don’t care for very pale people. Generally brown hair, blue eyes is a winning combination.
I never thought Matt Damon was especially good looking. I prefer more of a Channing Tatum or Tom Hardy or Russell Crowe type.
Whereas I’m a pogonophile… I have successfully persuaded several men of my acquaintance into growing beards. The Hobbit was like a porn film to me.
Aside from that, I don’t have a list, but I admit I do find guys that are more ‘delicately built’ than me harder to get attracted to. I don’t really want a big muscly guy to protect me, but I don’t want to worry about breaking one.
Mostly though, it is just personality. I know a pair of identical twins, and have a pretty big crush on one of them, but the other does nothing at all for me.
For a stare: tall, lean, pale, dark-haired, w/brooding sensitive intelligent face. Also, prominent interesting nose, like John Barrymore.
Type: Viggo Mortensen. Who isn’t that tall. Or pale. But whatever.
Very few male actors turn my crank in any way. Matt Damon yech. I particularly loathe boyish bouncing confidence (see: brooding, sensitive, above).
Physical competence is sexy. Guys who get flustered if you put a wrench or an axe in their hands, not so much. Combo of engine oil and sweat, the best masculine perfume. Just my opinion.
There’s a couple different levels of male beauty, IMHO.
The first level is what is biologically wired into us, and doesn’t differ much from the standard for female beauty: symmetrical, even features; healthy skin and hair; the whites of the eyes should be bright white, etc. Those are the things that trigger the ‘acceptable mating partner’ part of your brain.
The next level is all personal preference. For example, I’m a huge metal head and I idolized a lot of metal musicians at an impressionable age. To some extent, this influences my preferences in men: I like long hair, tattoos, that sort of thing.
At last, we reach the personality category. If he’s got a horrible personality, or no interests in common with me whatsoever, his appeal will die off in short order.
I once asked Ms. DrumBum what male beauty characteristics I possessed that made her overlook my obvious physical flaws. After the laughter subsided and she had determined that I was reasonably sober, she told me that I was smart, a nice guy, and taller than her. Everything else was just a bonus.
This seems right. I can watch the Olympics all day and admire the beauty, precision, and efficiency of the whole range of athletes, and if I tried I suppose I could fantasize about any or several of them at once. But in reality, though there are lots of men who are conventionally beautiful that I admire, too, I’d be just as happy romping around with a Bert Kreischer, Louis C.K., Damon Wayons Jr (hmmm, apparently I have a thing for comedians known for self-deprecating humor; I’ll deal with issue off-line)
And what KarlGrenze said. I had conflated real life preferences to fantasies. Those guys who share exacting standards of female perfection aren’t rejecting attributes of actual people, they are whittling down their Fantasy League Girlfriend Team.
This is venturing slightly OT, but I actually think modern media has made life harder for women, in promulgating a much higher standard for physical beauty than would otherwise be possible.
You go back a 150 years or so, and the average person was pretty much limited to attractive women they actually encountered in person. Now, the highest standards are based on the most attractive women of the 3.5 billion women in the entire world.
You say you don’t like so-and-so, and guys start laying out scenarios and saying “c’mon, you’d hit that.”
