Me too. I tell myself a ball cap is a sort of county Yarmulke and it doesn’t bother me as much.
I told my boys the openning doors for ladies and such is just prcatice for when they need to do it for their Grandma. It’s nice to see them step up in those situations.
My husband and a few other men still occasionally stand up for me, and I’m “only” 35. I usually smile, nod and either make a “have a seat” gesture or say something like, “Oh, that’s not necessary. Please sit.” Well, at least that’s what I do when it’s not my husband. If it’s him, I usually giggle at him over my fan, blush and fall over from a case of the vapors. Keeps him on his toes.
That’s how I feel about it. If you wouldn’t do a particular action out of respect for anyone you meet, then why do it for me just because I’m a woman? That’s not respect, that’s special treatment, and I don’t particularly feel like I need to be treated differently than anyone else. It’s nonsense.
For the record, I’ll hold the door open for anyone that’s coming up behind me (and I judge to be close enough…that’s always the hard part) and I’m pretty sure I stand for every handshake (it doesn’t happen very often that I’m already seated when handshakes are done!).
I stand to greet anyone for the first time. I do not stand when someone leaves and returns.
And how many women consider that I would think better of them if they offered me a similar courtesy?
I’m with Sunspace on this.
First handshake? There is only one handshake.
What you missed was that tumbleddown was talking about standing up for people as a gesture of “respect” when they enter or leave or stand up themselves, the topic of this thread. Not opening doors for people.
So it goes like this:
So…if a woman stands up for another woman, “it serves no purpose other than putting on a show.”
If Steve stands up for Joe, “it serves no purpose other than putting on a show.”
If Joe stands up for Steve, “it serves no purpose other than putting on a show.”
But if Joe stands up for you, “it serves no purpose other than putting on a show.”
Seem more consistent now?
It’s really not fair, because a lot of younger guys don’t seem to “know this rule,” but I make a lot of assumptions about a guy that doesn’t stand up to shake hands. none of them are positive if I don’t see crutches or a wheelchair. I’ve seen a good friend of mine actually withdraw his hand when a seated guy reached for it. Dude clued in and stood up immediately and all was groovy.
I’ll stand when rank enters the area for the first time of an event (work day, meeting, formal dinner, etc.).
Thought you assumed ‘Go to the washroom’ was code for a quickie!
I think I’ve had it done in my presence, I can’t remember. I vaguely recall some sort of half crouch. Anyway, if a table full of men stood up as soon as I entered the room, I’d assume they were staging a walk-out or trying to get me to notice their junk.
Opening doors, though, never goes out of fashion. And is practical, to boot! (As long as you’re not one of those people who opens it three minutes before the person’s actually arrived, forcing them to speed up so as not to keep you waiting.)
“I don’t do it because you’re a lady; I do it because I’m a gentleman.”
No, as Fuzzy Dunlop noted, I was talking about this bizarre practice of standing up for no purpose other than someone else in the room or at the table standing up. With regard to doors, if you’re one of those men who leaps and scuttles ahead to be sure that you’re the one to open a door that we’re both approaching, again, honestly stop that shit. It looks ridiculous, it doesn’t respect me, it most likely is going to pull me up short or make me break my stride trying to figure out why you’re suddenly breaking stride and it’s most typically accompanied by ignoring our conversation in order to attend to a damn door. I am just as capable of opening a door, if I’m first to it, as you are. Don’t treat me otherwise.
EXACTLY!
Unless you’re doing the same thing with regard to other “gentlemen” as you’re doing with me, then that’s just a complete fiction.