Star Trek Jokes

Ya know, Jeri Ryan, who played the sexy Borg 7 of 9, was almost named Three Out Of Four.

'Cause Three Out Of Four ain’t bad. :smiley: :wink:

How is the Enterprise like a roll of toilet paper?

Cause both of them chase Klingons around Uranus!

(insert Captain’s log joke here)

*Galactica VS Enterprise *: (warning: LONG story)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Separate Story (more dramatic)
Galactica and Enterprise (warning: another LONG story)

Other than that I can only offer:


  1. “Our other starship separates into 2 pieces!”
  2. “No GREEN chicks!”
  3. “HONK if you’ve slept with Commander Riker!”
  4. “Guns don’t kill people…Class 2 Phasers do!”
  5. “Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!”
  6. “CAUTION…We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical.”
  7. “If you can read this…don’t you think you’re a WEE-bit too close?”
  8. “Have you hugged a Ferengi today?”
  9. “We brake for cubes!”
  10. “Wesley On Board!”

Q. “Why did Captain Kirk pee on the ceiling?”
A. “He wanted to go where no man had gone before.”

Should I? :smiley:

Actual bumper sticker I’ve seen:
“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my pants!”

Actual sig file I’ve seen:
“He’s dead, Jim. Grab his tricorder while I go through his wallet.”

Real Trekkies work out at the “He’s Dead Gym”.

Check out the Star Trek meets… at the bottom of this page!