Start your morning by eating a live toad...

… and nothing worse will happen all day.

I read that on a bumper sticker or a t-shirt or something. I suppose it would be worse to be eaten by a live toad, but that’s not the point of this thread.

I dragged my sad, sleepy self to the Y this morning to do my cardio routine on the recumbent stationary bike - just as I try to do 4-5 times a week. Less than 5 minutes into my ride, he took the bike next to me. In a matter of seconds, I was assaulted by a frighteningly pungent odor. I don’t know if it was his clothes, his breath, or his body odor, but it was foul! Maybe he’d just gotten off the night shift and stopped in for his workout before cleaning up and going to bed. Maybe his washer broke and these were the only clothes he had. Maybe it’s a condition that he can’t help. Or maybe he’s just a slob. I don’t know and don’t care.

I tried leaning forward and away from him, but there’s a ceiling fan directly over these bikes, and it moves the air quickly and efficiently. I considered pulling my t-shirt over my head, but then I couldn’t see the news on the TV. I kept looking at my timer - damning it for not moving faster. Then after a 2-minute eternity, I dismounted and headed for the treadmills at the opposite side of the room. I was able to complete my workout, shower, dress, and get out of there without further nasal assault.

On the way to my car, I remembered the live toad comment. So, I’ve had my live toad for the day - I’m safe! How about you? Feel free to share your live toads.

My first thought was… “forgot to go buy groceries did we FairyChatMom?” :smiley:

I am awaiting, in fear, my live toad for the day. I know it’s coming, after all, it is Monday. Will somebody have forgotten to shower? Will somebody poop their pants? Will somebody throw up in the break room? Will their be a fight? Will somebody be wearing the same clothes he/she was wearing on Friday? Endless live toad possibilities around here.

Yerck…
My live toad for the day was reading this thread while eating a Chik-fil-A chicken biscuit. The smelly guy almost made me toss my biscuit.

Oh well. That means the day can only get better, right? :smiley:

My live toad is that because I was sucked in by your thread titile and read this post I will be late for work.

Oh yeah? I got to work forty-five minutes early! Feh.

I stepped on the hairball my cat hacked up during the night with my bare foot.

I dunno what the cat hacked up but it was cold and got stuck between my toes.

I think it was a half eaten cat treat.

And we have a live toad eating winner folks. Somebody threw up in the break area during morning break. And just to top it all off, the person, all covered in barf, then came to my office to show me! It just don’t get more live toad eating than that! :eek:

swampbear, you definitely get the “Live Toad Crown” for August 26! ack!!

FCM it gets better. Had a lunch time barf up too! It’s time for afternoon break. I just can’t wait. :rolleyes:
[sub]Three posts in a FCM thread and not one “old broad” crack. I’m slipping here![/sub]

Old Broads don’t admit it when they barf.

I would like to contend that the statement about the live toad must be false, for my day has gotten worse as it rolls on. (Although not as bad as swampbear’s, thank goodness.)

I went on my 15 minute break, where I was subject to crazy people asking me silly questions. No biggie, I work in a psychiatric hospital. But, apparently Stinky Guy migrated here, as he kept talking to me and getting closer and closer andcloseruntilhewasinmyFACE. P. U., buddy. Brush your teeth, and buy some soap.
Then I found out that the smoothie I had for lunch has 600 calories in it. I should have gone for the roast beef sandwich. Now it’s raining, which is good since we are in the middle of a drought, but I’m missing a window in the car I’m driving. Yippee.

The smoothie is making me feel oogy. We’ll not talk about the side-effects occurring in my office.

Hey swampbear, are you sure your pukey buddy didn’t take the “eat a live toad…” statement too seriously?

Skerri, I work with people with developmental disabilities. I love each and every one of them dearly (even when they barf and come show me), but I wouldn’t put it past a couple of 'em to eat a live toad. :eek:

<restraining from quoting swampbear’s comment about slipping, and editorializing … 'cause I got class>

I went back to the Y to do the leg machines, and nary a stinko approached. I managed to get home without anything disgusting happening, so my live toad did the trick.

I’m gonna have me a nice glass of wine tonight and crash early. Here’s hoping ToadMan doesn’t show up tomorrow.

… For you OR the toad.