I woke up a few days ago to the realization that I am living in one of my fantasies. No, not that one, the nice one. I have a beautiful wife, a three year old son with mischief constantly on his mind, and an incredibly cute one year old daughter who will not be allowed outside the house from the age of 12 until she is 40 (35 on good behaviour). I got to thinking that there I have provided nothing tangible that would tell them about how I felt about each of them, especially if something was to happen to me.
So I have decided to write some things down. I guess it would be a journal type format to preserve the thoughts and feelings I have. Sounds like a good idea, yes?
How do I start? Do I have to apologize for the years I missed? Does the first entry have to summarize said years?
What about the medium? I have always thought that a hand written note means more than a typed one. But I am a computer programmer and my handwriting skills have all but left me. Is a text file fine? Or does it give the impression that I was too busy to take the time and write something down, even if it is illegible?
I think this is a good idea…I am just looking for a starting point.
Ideas?
As for how to start: "I woke up a few days ago to the realization that I am living in one of my fantasies. " then talk about how you decided to start writing everything down. Start with what made you think of that and just fill in as you go along. On days when you have time/nothing of interest happens go back to a nice story you’d like to remember/have to read in the future. “I remember this time on our honeymoon…” , “The first word out of my son’s mouth was:_____ and the reason it was soooo funny was…”, “The best thing my dad ever taught me was…” etc.
As for how to keep it, a nice physical journal is classy, but will give you a hand cramp if you intend to write a lot. A text file is fine as well, but I’d be sure to back it up to an outside source (floppy, datastick, CD or something) after every entry in case your computer fries itself or something and your years of hard work are lost forever. I mean, once you have it saved as a text file, you can always go back and dress it up later, or not, or add/delete things as needed. (“I actually found that picture I mentioned that I thought I lost!”)
There are also sites like LiveJournal.com that will set you up with a webpage-like format where you can be linked to other people keeping journals in the system. Probably not what you’re looking for, as it’s more of a “hangout” spot (like the SDMB) than a serious recordkeeping site.
Two thoughts—Well, first, let me say what a great idea this is, Greenback, and that I encourage you to follow through out on it. Anyway, back to those ideas:
[ol][li] Don’t let this be a “for someday” idea, which is one of the drawbacks to your journal plan. I encourage you to also modify the idea to be a gift for your wife on her birthday, your anniversary, or any other occasion. Maybe make a set of index cards or fill out a small book about things you enjoy and appreciate about your wife. Maybe all these things would be included in your journal, but why wait until something has happened to let her know about your feelings?[/li][li] A longer term journaling project that works for your whole family is also a very, very good idea, and I think you would be a-okay doing it in Word or a similar program. Really, the point is for it to make you as comfortable as possible writing. You may want to look into an easy way of printing out the journal periodically (on acid-free paper!) and binding them, just because this would be a better way for your family to receive and read the journal.[/ol][/li]Just some food for thought. No matter what you think of my ideas, your original inspiration was right on, and I encourage you to get writing!
I have a list of journal entry “prompts”. It’s called “Journal in a Jar”. I don’t know exactly from whom I first obtained it. It was part of a group of things I picked up at a gift idea swap event at church many, many years ago. Over the years I added and deleted “prompts” from the list as appropriate for the giftee or audience.
You draw one slip of paper each day. Take a few minutes to think about what is written on the slip and enjoy the memories. Then paste, tape or write the question at the top of a blank page. (I have printed them on mailing address labels so the giftee could just stick the label at the top of the page.) The write in your thoughts about the prompt. You don’t worry about your handwriting or spelling, just start telling your story. Now and then you may pull one you don’t want to address, just put it back and pick another. Don’t do that too often though or you’ll be leaving all the harder ones for the end and you might give up the project. The prompts help you get started and get into the habit. There’s no need at first to go back and tell your whole life story as it starts to come out in bits because of the prompts. Later after you’ve established the habit and are feeling comfortable with the process you may decide to fill in the gaps so to speak.
I’ve had these lists for well over 15 years, here are a few sample journal writing prompts:
Describe a ‘sound’ from your childhood. What was it? When did you hear it? What does it bring to mind?
Are you involved in any clubs or extra-curricular activities? (Sports, dance, choir, etc.)
Are you pleased with what you look like? If you could change any part of myself what would it be?
Describe your wedding day.
Write about something you are grateful for. Make a list and count your blessings.
Write about some of the places you went with your father.
Write about some of the places you went with your mother.
Are there any family heirlooms in your possession? Tell about them and how you came to acquire them.
Describe a favorite childhood friend and something you did with her or him.
Between the ages of 5 and 10, what was your favorite activity?
Descirbe a typical day in elementary school.
Describe a childhood birthday.
Describe a favorite vacation of your married years.
Describe a perfect spring day and activities on that day.
Describe a time when you lost myself in the service of someone else. How did it feel?
Describe each member of your family. Tell them of your love for them.
Describe getting a Christmas tree as a child, when did you put it up and decorate it?
Describe one of your favorite recipes and tell where it comes from.
Did you have a bicycle? What was it like?
Describe the most serious illness or accident that you have had.
Describe your first ‘crush’. What was the person like?
Describe your first car.
Describe your first home.
Tell something you enjoyed doing with your Grandma or Grandpa.
Did you have a childhood hide-out? Where? Describe it.
Do you have a favorite author why? who? Tell about your favorite books as a child - as an adult.
Tell the things you parents have told you that you did when you were a baby.
In what kinds of extracurricular activities did you participate in school?
List all the costumes you have worn or characters you have been for Halloween.
Write about feeling loved and by whom.
Who is my best friend? What is she/he like?
Did you serve in the military? If so, where and when?
What instrument do you play or wish you could play?
If you could have your favorite dinner for your birthday, what would it be?
Describe the perfect spring day and activities done on that day.
Describe walking down the main street of your hometown.
Describe your favorite clothes.
Describe your mother’s wedding dress - what do you know about her wedding?
Did it snow much when you were a child - tell something about it, what did you do.?
Where were you and what were you doing the day the wall came down in Germany or the coup in USSR or Dec 7th - World War II started or ended - Pres. Kennedy assassinated?
Did you and your father share any interests together? What and why?
Did you go camping? Tell about your experiences.
Did you have a favorite blanket or toy? Tell about it.
Did you have a favorite subject in school? One you disliked?
There’s ton’s more but I am out of time. If you want to email my screenname at gmail.com. I’ll see if I can find the file and send it to you as an attachment.
Daughter Number 1 (moi): 23, been living 800km away from where I grew up for the past 4 years, 3 of which have been sharing a home with my boyfriend…yes…boyfriend…not only am I out of the house and living with a guy, I’m not even married! Oh, and when I was 15, I started sleeping over at my MALE friends’ houses as often as at my female friends’places (because really, it was too much trouble to get a ride home after a movie night…and no, we weren’t doing anything “bad”…well, other than the drinking, but whatever)
Daughter Number 2: 20, been dating the same guy since she was 15, recently engaged, and that guy works for my dad. The wedding is next year. She still lives at home, though.
Daddies are so funny when they talk about what their daughters can and can’t do
Abby - I love that journal in a jar idea! Very creative!
Greenback I found a list that I did a few years ago on Avery labels #5160. The intent was that the journalist could just peel and stick the question on the journal page and start writing. In practice this made the journal pages thicker at the top much like a stack of staple papers is higher at one corner.
I’ve given them in themed tins, baskets, jars and gift bags. I find a container, add a notebook, journal or blank book, pens, the writing prompts and enclose a little card upon which I have recorded a favorite memory with the person.
I think Livejournal would be a great place to start. Like voguevixen said, it’s web-based, and even though there are options to keep entries completely private, I often wonder what exactly that means. If it’s sitting on the web, somewhere, someone, somehow has access to it. I’ve been keeping a Livejournal for almost 4 years now, and I don’t really worry about that much. There are hundreds of thousands of journals out there. Nevertheless, I usually keep my most private thoughts to myself. I do have a hand-written journal, but I haven’t used it in years. I’ve thought about it every know and then, but I guess I don’t have many demons in my head these days. whew.
I do use mine for some private entries, but I also enjoy interacting with friends through comments and their journals. Sometimes it’s me working things out in my head, jotting down scenarios between my children and my husband and myself, reliving a wonderful weekend or vacation, or just what I had for breakfast.
It’s a nice clean medium ,with lots of features and options.
My husband turned his into a book and had it bound a few months ago. It looks really great, I have to admit.
I just created a book of mine (pdf), but I don’t know if I’ll print it. Maybe someday. All 700-something pages worth. :eek:
Good point though.