The thread on Moleskine notebooks led me to post this. I really want to start keeping a paper journal. I don’t feel that I can be as personal on my Livejournal (for the uninitiated, that’s a journal you keep on the Internet) as I’d like, and I also feel that the medium is detrimental to the writing, cheapens it somehow. I have tried keeping a paper journal in the past, but four things always block me:
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Perfectionism: I’ll admit, I am an editor. Whenever I write a post on Livejournal I have to edit the hell out of it because there you write for an audience. I feel like this causes me to be less spontaneous and gives my personal writing an unnatural feel. But when I look at a page of blank paper I feel totally blocked because it’s like every word has to count. I don’t know how to rectify my desire to be “open” and my need for my writing to be perfect, which I need it to be even though I will be the only one who reads the journal.
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Physical issues: When I write longhand, my hand cramps up a lot. I don’t have any hand problems, I’m just used to typing, having grown up with a computer. I’ve only handwritten things when I’ve had to. As a result, I can only write about a page before having to quit. It’s easier when I use a pen that has a light touch like a rollerball or very fine felt tip, but I still feel some pain, which affects my desire to write.
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Motivation: Whenever I think about writing a very long post in my LJ, there’s some part of me that asks, why am I doing this again? Some of my fiction-writing friends say that keeping a journal is stupid because you should be putting that energy into your fiction, are they right? It feels awfully self-indulgent to spend even ten minutes navel-gazing and writing down your thoughts, especially when that writing is not meant to be shared. Why do you people who journal do so? I know I have a desire to do it but I don’t know why and it feels like I shouldn’t be “wasting” my writing that way.
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Structured thinking: Also due to my fiction writing background I have a need to “structure” my journal entries in a narrative fashion, so I have a hard time putting down my thoughts because they go through a lot of “filters.” Does this make any sense? What will stop me from being so narrative-minded and focused on the end product of the writing, rather than the journey? Basically, I think I need a crash course in thinking spontaneously.
Any advice for overcoming these things? Also, is it a good idea to set page or entry goals like you do when writing a novel? Thanks in advance!