Maybe the reason so many people have an idealized view of the American 50’s is because it was in fact ideal. Not ideal because of progress, or civil rights, but because we were fucking rich. And I do not mean “rich”, I mean "fucking rich". I don’t mean “we’ve got a pool”-rich. I mean “we own the water”-rich. I don’t mean “let them eat cake*”-rich. I mean “let them eat the Spam they bought from us with money we loaned to them with interest”-rich.
That’s right, that fucking rich. And when you’re that fucking rich, you don’t need to lock your doors, because your neighbors are also that fucking rich. And as we all know, rich people don’t steal, they have accountants and lawyers for that.
I probably don’t need to tell you guys this, but as a loose and general rule, more money means less crime. It also means less civil unrest. And when the pie is big enough, everyone gets a piece, which they will of course remember fondly. After all, who doesn’t like pie?
But, in the end, this whole argument is pointless. The game is already over. You lost, SA. The only thing to do now is show us the sterling quality of your 50’s era character, by graciously admitting defeat.
By the way, I too have a problem with my long hair. Women just won’t stop touching and caressing it. Poor, poor, pitiful me.
*a lie.