StarWars fanwank question

Okay, having just re-wasted more of my life watching the first three again on Spike…

The Trade Federation guys (ethnic stereotype-speaking badguys from Ep I) were controlling their droid army on Naboo from a kinda-sorta Death Star-ish spaceship.

Ep II, the Trade Federation guys have the plans for the Death Star, which Count Dooku then flies to Coruscant.

Ep III, the leaders of the Trade Federation get Anakin’d. And then the new Empire goes to war against them as Separatists – although they’re still apparently taking orders from Palpatine, since he mentions something to one of his underlings about deactivating their droid armies.

So… was the Death Star actually built by the Empire? Or by the Separatists/Trade Federation? 'Cause Palpatine was in charge of both by that point. And since he’d gutted their leadership, he probably had a much freer hand with the resources of the Trade Federation.

And of course on analysis, the only viable conclusion is that none of this make any sense whatsoever.

The answer to the OP is simple. The 2nd one was quicker because the Emperor didn’t realize he had entered “2” under quantity on the order form before going to the checkout page.

Like others have said, a lot of the details got ironed out on the first one:

Saleslady:“What shape you want, hon? Cube?”

Tarkin: “No, I don’t want to deal with a lot of ‘resistance is futile’ jokes.”

Saleslady:“What about a big slab?”

Tarkin: “No. Then it’ll just be ‘It’s full of stars!’ all day long.”

Saleslady:“Well, I see you’re looking at the sphere. It’s a good basic shape and all, but everyone’s gonna think it’s a small moon. Hardly terrifying.”

Tarkin: “No one’s going to think it’s a moon! Geez.”

Saleslady: “OK, I’ll put you down for a sphere, then. Do you want to go for the exhaust port protection plan?”

Tarkin: “No thanks, just the big gun is all.”

Saleslady: “I gotta tell ya. You get rebel fighters buzzin’ around your exhaust port and you could be lookin’ at a lot of damage real quick.”

Tarkin: “I think you overestimate their chances!”

Okay, fine.

Obviously, the Emperor waited to buy until that year’s model went on clearance and he got his during a two-for-one sale at the Coruscant Deathstarmart.

:: points accusingly at Zebra ::

Rebel! Rebel scum!

In the Extended Universe (which IS canon, I believe), the Death Star was Tarkin’s pet project (overseen by his pet admiral, Daala), developed by a team of scientists and engineers in the Maw Installation (a region of space that’s protected from intrusion by virtue of being in the middle of a large black hole grouping).

And the may is located near the spicemines of Kessel. Making the Kessel run in 12 parsecs means that you cut dangerously close to the black holes instead of taking the longer, safer, and slower way.

/fanwank

I’ve always liked this explanation, since I never otherwise get the impression that Han is ignorant about space travel.

Yes, but it seems quite obvious that technology has regressed during the years from the ending of ROTS, to ANH. Now, one could argue that this was because so much was being sucked up by the building of the first DS, but then, you’re left with wondering how the hell they could have built a second one, because folks really would have started getting pissed at not having anything at this point. I don’t think that one could say that they were building both DSs at the same time, as the dialoge in ANH indicates pretty clearly that the Imperial folks didn’t see much need to have another one. (This station is now the ultimate power in the universe.)

Finally, having it designed and built starting some 20+ years before it’s needed shows a level of planning and foresight that Palpy clearly lacked.

Plus the V2.0 software was buggy as hell

As fanwanks go, it’s the gold standard, baby.

Okay, question for those who have the scripts memorized. How do we know the DeathStar #2 took a shorter time to build? Maybe when DeathStar #1 blew up, the second one was already 10 years into construction. Any evidence to the contrary?

Post of the day, right here. Thanks for that, **Bryan **- I needed it.

Bravo.

From the crawl:

Emphasis added.

Okay, I see what you mean, but it would still be correct to say that they have begun construction if construction started 10 years ago.

So then how is that an appropriate response to “Is it fast?”

It could cut that much closer to the black holes with a margin of safety!

It’s really quite simple. The Death Star in Episode VI was the first to reach the size of a small moon and have the firepower to wipe out a planet. The plans for the Death Star we see in Ep II, and the initial stages of construction we see of it in Ep III (18 years or so prior to Ep IV), are of much smaller things not rendered in perspective but actually as big as shown on screen.

For example, here’s a screen cap of one of the end scenes from Revenge of the Sith where Vader and Palpy are looking out at a Death Star being built. It’s not some huge thing off in space; it’s right outside that window, and about the size of a beach ball.

I mean, if I were developing some terrible new weapon, I’d want some prototypes first to work out the design flaws, and I’m certainly not going to invest the gazillions of spacebucks to build a moon-sized one on the first go.

Interesting theory. Maybe the Galactic Empire hired the same production team which built the Stonehenge model for Spinal Tap?