Stay? Or go? A living arrangement poll.

Living in a friend’s basement. Have it set up nice, actually. Rent’s pretty cheap. But it’s tough living there b/c I have 2 difficult roommates (they live/relate like lazy, unmotivated, slobbish college students and I don’t). It’s not unlivable, but it is regularly annoying/maddening/depressing. We had a recent blow-up where I was told that if I can’t handle the slovenly lifestyle in the house then I should probably leave because it’s not going to change. Fair enough.

Just got a call from an old landlord that my old apartment is available. It’s no mansion, but I liked living there (nice area, nice dog-walking paths nearby, close to work, comfortable apartment) It’s a bit more $ than where I’m living now. Doable, but I struggle with the idea that if I could just hang on for a little bit longer at my current place, I might be in just a bit of a better place, financially to comfortably commit to a real live 12 month lease. I sucked it up and negotiated, offering my services as a groundskeeper/building manager in exchange for cheaper rent, as the landlord lives out of town. Haven’t heard back about that possibility.

There are new renters in the building at my old place. Landlord says they’re all regular, nice, working people. But who knows for sure.

I feel kind of like it’s kismet that the old place is available, but who says there’s not some better place out there for me down the road. Maybe I shouldn’t go backwards, maybe I should only go forward (although “backward” is only a state of mind, right?).

I’m usually pretty practical and practically speaking I feel like it’s not an ideal time for me to move. I’m paranoid I’d lose my job or something and be screwed, whereas I would be less screwed at my current place b/c my friend isn’t going to turn me out on the street. Trust me it wouldn’t be pretty, but I wouldn’t be evicted.

I’m considered a freelance employee, but I have a good relationship w/ my employer and the work has been steady and getting a little steadier as we’ve been getting busier. There’s always the possibility that somehow the work could run out. I mean, who knows the future? They like my work and would love to hire me full time, but there’s no opportunity for it yet.


Stay or go?

Go. Live like an adult in your own place. :slight_smile:

Go. At least then the misery would be because of your choices, not because of other’s actions (or lack thereof, as the case may be).

It’s really your choice to make based on your likes and dislikes. But if I was in your position, I’d go.

I would say go. If your friend wouldn’t turn you out on the street for unpaid rent NOW, it’s a pretty safe bet that they’d be willing to take you back in if shit goes to hell.

Caveat: leave on good terms. As long as they’re not being slobs in your (basement) territory, I don’t see why that’s such a major issue. If they are, just try to be diplomatic about it. Friends who let you crash are few and far between.

Another vote for go. Sometimes you’ve just gotta have a place of your own. It’s more important than things like an eating habit. :stuck_out_tongue:

Why did you move from the old place to begin with?

What’s more important? Your current sanity and level of peace or waiting and living more upmarket? This is a chance for you to figure out your own values. Does having housemates outweigh the mess they make? Do you see being alone in a space as a good thing or a bad thing?

At several points in my own life, I have chosen the company of housemates even if we weren’t the best fit. At others, it has been a blessing to have my own space. You will make the best decision for yourself.

I would stay and save up while I had the chance.
Then again I’d probably be considered one of the slobs.

It sounds to me like you are holding back for some reason. If you can figure out why you are holding back, I think the answer will become clear.