Actually, in my eyes it’s a reason to tell the party involved to fuck off and cut them from your life if they don’t accept your child, but that’s just MHO.
Hey, wait…is this why you’ve been insisting we bring Matt to your big party, you want to steal him?
Nah, I’m after Dominic, Opal’s boy.
But if Matt does windows he’s mine, boy.
All mine.
Evil, I understand completely. I’ve been putting up with comments like this for eleven years now. Well…acutally…I got most of them to stop.
Here’s my methods, use them if you like:
To the relatives, who ask “when are you going to give me grandkids / nieces / nephews / whatever”:
I told them: Hey, I’ll do the nine-month thing, but it’s going home from the hospital with you. When it’s got a doctorate and a good job, send it back.
I got most of my co-workers / bosses /etc to stop asking about it when I told one of them that I thought kids were great to take on holidays to central Florida…to go trolling for Gators.
funny…for some reason they don’t ask anymore why I don’t have kids…
I can sympathize EW.
My MIL was yelling from the back of the room that she wanted at least 10 grandkids from us.
At our wedding.
During the toasts and cake cutting.
Her own son told her to shut the hell up.
Ack! Sheesh, I know parents think they mean well, but man…
Welcome to the board, Evil_Weevil! (By the way, I am the French judge and I did NOT cheat! Nor did I take any bribes…this time).
The SO and I waver all the time on whether or not we’re going to have kids. I love kids, but I’m just not sure if I want my own. I’m going back to school to become an elementary school teacher, so it’s not like I won’t be exposed to them on a regular basis. My brother and his fiance are the same way. So we’re evil kids who might leave my parents without any grandchildren - the horror! Although, my mom has said she’s not ready to be a grandmother just yet, she has said she’ll be ready at some point in the future and she wants grandchildren. However, I don’t know that I’ll want to give up being able to travel on the weekends at the drop of a hat, or having lots of ‘me’ time, etc. I know one can still do these things with children, but it takes a lot of planning and that’s one of those things I simply suck at. And the SO changes his mind on having kids every time he sees a misbehaving child in the grocery store:rolleyes:. Apparently, having two 3 year olds screaming “ICE CREAM!” in the grocery store for his entire time shopping on a trip last week made his sperm roll up into the fetal position and cry.
Anyway, good luck to you. And have fun on the trip to Germany!
Ava
I tried that threat once. My sister was ready to start filing the paperwork. Plus Evil_Mom has already threatened to move next door to whomever popped out a demon spawn first. You would think having 3 kids that avoid her at all costs would stop that.
Making off the wall comments to co-workers about the various use for kids is the best. It’s amazing how many people will look at you strange when you talk about giving a kid a flat top so that you can use their head as a beer holder. I also hear they’re rather handy when the remote breaks and I bet they make good sqeaky toys for dogs too.
Damn… back to work now. If I have kids, then I get the option of a reduced work week. That would mean I’d be done working for the week. Where’s a rent-a-kid when you need one?:smack:
Yeah, if you make enough comments like that (or casually refer to a colicky baby as a 'little fucker" people not only quit bugging you about it, they actively encourage you to not breed. It’s quite nice, I must say.
I know I’ll have this to look forward to. I’m only 23, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for the past year. Every time I see my mom, she asks me if I “have any news” or if “he’s put anything on your finger.”
And I know that whenever I do get engaged, then it will be “So, when’s the wedding.” Then, “when are you two going to have kids.” Then once I have one, it would be “so, when are you going to give little so-and-so a brother or sister.”
She’s my mother and I love her, but she can drive me absolutely nuts!
I got everyone to drop the marriage topic by promising to elope. Now they just expect to hear, “Guess what I did this weekend!” I’m truly looking forward to the look on their face when they realize it’s true. While other girls sit around and dream of the perfect wedding dress and what kind of flowers they’ll have, I just imagine a wedding without the Weevil family <insert blissful sigh here>.
I think I should try the barking dog collar approach with everyone. I’ll give them all “special” necklaces for Christmas. Every time the word “baby” comes out I’ll get to squeal in delight as the electric current flows through their body. Hey… I never said I was a nice weevil.
Too amusing. This:
just cracked me right up.
Welcome to the boards, Evil_Weevil!
Well, Evil_Weevil, look at it this way…
Next time your mom asks what you want for your birthday present, just say “A Trust fund to send my future child to Harvard.” She’ll stop pushing - I promise!
Ditto on the great rant, btw!
“I just love kids… especially with that spicy brown mustard!” works pretty well (although it got me some confused looks today, it usually gets a laugh - who’d have guessed my boss wants kids?)
Thankfully my family hasn’t done anything like that to me yet - we’re too busy bugging my brother and his wife! (I’m not evil, really… we only tease my bro, and he’s as anxious as the rest of us)
I don’t think my family would dare bug me about the marriage/baby thing yet - the marriage thing just SO isn’t on the horizon for someone who hasn’t had a bf since '99!
Reminds me of the old W.C. Fields classic quote: “I love children but i couldn’t eat a whole one.”
Stay out of my Uterus
that has to be the best title for a thread EVER
I allow a minor leeway for parents. I mean, I don’t agree with it, but I do understand that some people have a vision of life where they grow old, see grandkids, feel a connection to your own children by seeing them raising their own kids, and so on. It’s most certainly a moving experience, been part of cultural tradition forever, part of many people’s life plans, etc. Sure, they have no right to force the issue, but I can at least have a little sympathy for wanting grandkids, and knowing that there’s nothing you can do to make it happen.
So, I allow a little nagging, as long as it doesn’t get too out of hand.
So when are you having a baby? I mean it is about time, isn’t it?
or try this one:
“kids? well, I like 'em, but I could never eat a whole one.”
Actually my worries wouldn’t be while we’re alive - it would be more like after we’re both gone and certain members of the family would try to deprieve the adopted child(ren) of all worldly goods on the basis that they’re not “real” family and shouldn’t inherit.
And yes, they would even contest a legal will.
I’m not talking about situation where someone gets snubbed at the family gathering, it’s a little more complex than that. But I don’t feel like explaining it further.
Greatest. Commercial. Ever.
I would like to take a moment to thank my sisters, Teacher SpazSister and Dr. SpazSister for giving birth to their own demonspawn.
I would also like to thank Nephew Monkey, Niece Bunny, and Soon-to-be-born Whatsit for being their children and not mine.
I’m actually looking forward to the day someone asks me “so, when are you popping out a sprog?” I have a very good, very complicated, very depressing answer:
*I have an autoimmune disease that makes it very dangerous for me to give birth. And by very dangerous I mean “could be deadly.”
*Diabetes, strokes, Alzheimers, and cancer run up and down both sides of my family with frightening frequency.
*SpazBoyfriend’s mother was schizophrenic, which increases the chance that any child of his would also be schizophrenic.
*SpazBoyfriend does not–DOES NOT–react well to crying children, screaming children, whining children, laughing children, playing children, and children in general unless they are the children of friends and relatives.
*A whole host of other complications that are too private to go into here.
Weevil, here’s a good response to your mother’s cry of “When are you going to give me grandchildren?”
“As soon as I can find some good recipes.”