STDs and the obligation to disclose status prior to sex.

No big setup. Straightforward.

IN whch of the following scenarious do you believe it is absolutely mandatory to disclose to your potential sexual partner that you have the STD in question?

Assume, for the purposes of the poll, that you will always be using condoms, UNLESS otherwise noted in the question. Assume also that YOU are the person who has the STD.

I AM MAKING THE POLL, so please wait for it, but it will take a few minutes to plug in all these answers. PLEASE ALSO REFER HERE IF MY QUESTIONS ARE TOO LONG AND GET CUT OFF.
[ul]
[li]HIV positive, no detectable viral load due to drug treatment, any and all types of sex[/li][li]HIV positive, no detectable viral load due to drug treatment, vaginal intercourse, you own the vagina[/li][li]HIV positive, no detectable viral load due to drug treatment, vaginal intercourse, you own the penis[/li][li]HIV positive, no detectable viral load due to drug treatment, anal intercourse, you own the anus[/li][li]HIV positive, no detectable viral load due to drug treatment, anal intercourse, you own the penis[/li][li]HIV positive, no detectable viral load due to drug treatment, oral sex recipient, male, no condom[/li][li]HIV positive, no detectable viral load due to drug treatment, oral sex recipient, female, no dental dam[/li][li]HIV positive, no detectable viral load due to drug treatment, oral sex performer, either sex, no barriers[/li][li]HIV positive, detectable viral load, any and all types of sex[/li][li]HIV positive, detectable viral load, vaginal sex, you own the vagina[/li][li]HIV positive, detectable viral load, vaginal sex, you own the penis[/li][li]HIV positive, detectable viral load, anal sex, you own the anus[/li][li]HIV positive, detectable viral load, anal sex, you own the penis[/li][li]HIV positive, detectable viral load, oral sex recipient, male, no condom[/li][li]HIV positive, detectable viral load, oral sex recipient, female, no dental dam[/li][li]HIV positive, detectable viral load, oral sex performer, either sex, no barrier[/li][/ul]
[ul]
[li]Herpes, no apparent lesions and you take prophylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, vaginal intercourse, you own the vagina[/li][li]Herpes, no apparent lesions and you take prophylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, vaginal intercourse, you own the penis[/li][li]Herpes, no apparent lesions and you take prophylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, anal intercourse, you own the anus[/li][li]Herpes, no apparent lesions and you take prophylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, anal intercourse, you own the penis[/li][li]Herpes, no apparent lesions and you take prohylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, oral sex recipient, male, no condom[/li][li]Herpes, no apparent lesions and you take prohylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, oral sex recipient, female, no dental dam[/li][li]Herpes, no apparent lesions and you take prohylactic medication to prevent outbreaks, oral sex performer, either sex, no barriers[/li][li]Herpes, any and all types of sex[/li][/ul]

[ul]
[li]HPV, no visible lesions (warts), vaginal intercourse, you own the vagina[/li][li]HPV, no visible lesions (warts), vaginal intercourse, you own the penis[/li][li]HPV, no visible lesions (warts), anal intercourse, you own the anus[/li][li]HPV, no visible lesions (warts), anal intercourse, you own the penis[/li][li]HPV, no visible lesions (warts), oral sex recipient, male, no condom[/li][li]HPV, no visible lesions (warts), oral sex recipient, female, no dental dam[/li][li]HPV, no visible lesions (warts), oral sex performer, either sex, no barriers[/li][li]HPV, any and all types of sex[/li][/ul]

And finally, for simplicity’s sake:
[ul]
[li] All situations listed[/li][li] None of the situations listed[/li][/ul]

I believe these are the only incurable STDS. Since the others can be cured, I assume no one would have sex until they have been successfully cured of the disease. If I’m mistaken, please enlighten.I make a similar assumption that no one would engage in sex with a new partner or any partner if they had active herpes lesions or warts.

Also enlighten if I’m mistaken about incurable STDs.

HPV = Human Papilloma Virus, which is what causes venereal warts, certain strains of which have been shown to lead to cervical cancer. (I was going to say “in women”, then I realized…who else would get cervical cancer?)

So give me a couple of minutes…

It’s absolutely mandatory if you have, think you could have, or have never been tested for any of the above plus anything else communicable.

Pallas bless & keep you for attempting that poll, Stoid. I’d be too freaking lazy.

If you know you have any potentially communicable STD, you absolutely must tell potential partners before making the beast with two backs. The technical term for persons who do not is “farking iceholes.”

(bolding mine)
Well, there are these rarities called virgins, you know.

What she said.

Preferably before you get clothes off or even partially undone.

If I’m thinking about it correctly, some virgins can have herpes. It’s not common, but it can happen. Here we go.

To my knowledge, I have never had sex with a virgin, and hopefully I never shall. But in the unlikely event that such a misfortune befell me, I don’t think I’d ask her or him to be tested before we did it. (Obviously I’m not going to be sleeping with someone I don’t know well and trust implicitly, so if they tell me they’ve never had a sexual encounter, I will believe them. I’d be willing to roll the dice about herpes in that situation.)

If you have something you should tell. I honestly can’t see how you can justifiy anything else.

BTW, I am just leasing my penis. I don’t own it.

So, if you sleep with a virgin, you can still get a case of immaculate contraction?

I can’t speak to female virgins, I’ve only been one, I’ve never slept with one.

But I’ve been with a number of male virgins and near-virgins, and I am here to testify that two of them were (became, did not start out as) the best lovers I ever had, one in particular left every man I’d ever slept with way, way, way in the dust, on pretty much every measure. (Then dragged me into court ten years later and stomped on my life. sigh…)

And yes, it’s precisely because I was able to mold him into exactly the lover I wanted - having no prior experience, and no ego investment, he was totally open, willing, ready, and able. We had near-perfect sex for ten years, and it got very good very fast, within the first few months we were together.

And I was pleased (as part of a much larger stew of emotions) to learn that when he left me, his skills were appreciated by the women who followed, and I take credit for that in no small part. I think he’d give it to me, too.

First, the poll is not working right. It only lets you choose one option, not “all that apply”, at least when I was looking.

Second, the HPV strains that cause warts are NOT generally the ones that lead to cervical cancer. So a woman can never have had genital warts, and still have HPV up around her cervix.

Uh, I think Skald just said that because he’s married. :slight_smile:

If you have it, you must tell. I don’t see how you could think otherwise.

I agree that if you’ve been tested positive for something that isn’t curable (as none of the above are), you should tell.

However, the people who are like, “you must tell even if there is a remote possibility you have a disease before you get your clothes off,” seem to live in a different world than me. Let’s say I was tested for this panel in January and was clear. Do you guys honestly expect me to say to a dude at the bar, well before clothes come off, “Hey I was clear of STDs in January, however, since then I wore a friend’s bathing suit while hot tubbing and she was last tested in October '10 and has had sex with two partners since then so I may have contracted HPV and can pass it on to you if we have protected sex”?

Cause that is a conversation that just does not happen, AFAIK.

I mention people who have never been tested because of asses who would avoid testing just so they can say they have never been diagnosed. I’m not interested in constructing some elaborate way in which purely innocent parties could maybe have caught cooties on the bus.

I hope you at least have an option to buy…

Given the stats, it’s a very good bet - a virtual certainty, really, that people who have these STDS are Dopers, and some might likely answer this poll.

It would be interesting to know if all of them (assuming the poll continues to trend as it has) have always told, in all situations.

‘Cuz I’m thinkin’ it’s pretty unlikely that everybody is telling everybody without fail and vast numbers of people are still contracting these diseases. Maybe I’m wrong, but common sense suggest I’m not.

Then again, people may answer the poll “always” and mean it…but may still have failed to do so. Knowing what’s right and doing it certainly aren’t guaranteed to coincide.

Bummer about the poll…can I get a mod to make multiple choice ok? (Not that it’s been an issue yet)

So…this is a big gotcha? :dubious:

:confused:

You’re saying that those people who have said “you have to always disclose” haven’t always done so, making us…liars? Hypocrites?