Scylla–we’re cool. Heresy makes sense. Hypocrisy confused me.
As the only well-done steak guy in a family of bloody drippers, I just have a button on this.
By the way, have you ever heard Mozart’s 40th Symphony played by the Gap-Toothed Banjo and Jug Band?
Bucky
Oh, well. We can always make more killbots.
Bucky:
The way you like your steak in no way diminshes you as a man.
Indeed you may go on to achieve some success in spite of this flaw.
Nobody should look down on you for this.
I know it hurts when you receive the scorn of your family concerning you Steak eating habits.
Dammit that’s why I started this thread!
We need Federal funding so people like Bucky can be cured and go on to live normal productive lives, instead of suffering prejudice within their own homes!
Thank you Bucky for having the courage to come forward and tell your story!
(thanks for being a good sport.)
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt
Actually, we have achieved something of a compromise when I cook. I cook the steaks in a marinade in my crock pot. Usually the marinade involves lots of pepper sauces. Then I grill it to get it smoky.
It’s still tender and juicy, wit none of that blood oozing out.
Now if I could just put cream and sugar (or sometimes ice cream) in my coffee without comment…
Scylla’s pal,
Oh, well. We can always make more killbots.
I just hope it’s sirloin or top round or something you stick in the crockpot.
Please don’t tell me it’s a Strip, shell, or (Please NO!) a filet mignon.
::Shudder::
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt
< can of worms >
Well, when I worked in restaurants as a waiter, I noticed that black peoplee overwhelmingly liked their steaks cooked much more well done than their white counterparts.
Is cooking meat to death something that is indicative in the black community and households?
These customers did not just want it well. They complained if it was anything less than jerky.
Some also complained that it was tough, and these, I simply wanted to smack… 
< /can of worms >
Yer pal,
Satan
Off topic, but I feel obligated to direct you to “Live Art”, by Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. On Disc 2, Track 7, a solo Bela on banjo segues seamlessly from Bach’s “Presto from Sonata #1 in Gm for Unaccompanied Violin” into “The Ballad of Jed Clampett”.
The piece has turned many of my friends around on the subject of the banjo.
Now back to your regularly scheduled meat-related discussion.
Dr. J
Scylla, I am a fellow worshipper on the altar of the Holy Cow. I too have chosen to turn away from the evil inherent in the fire and brimstone of the grill. The great heat and flames found below there only serve to toughen and burn one’s soul.
But, I ask of you whether 60+30 seconds is enough time to devote to the cleansing of one’s flesh on the inside and the out? Shouldn’t one at least allow a little longer for one’s soul to simmer and rejoice in the all-healing, all-encompassing energy?
The only true evil in steakdom…Ketchup on a Filet Mignon. shudder
(Personally, I am of the belief that a filet mignon should be bare, save for the dry rub it was cooked with. I can see people adding steak sauce, but ewwwww, not ketchup.)
>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<
—The dragon observes
Voltaire:
You must have faith in the ability of your skillet to conduct heat, my son.
If your skillet is thick and hot enough, if it is made of the sacred cast iron, if your holy cow cut is the ritual 1 to 1 1/2 inches thick, than the spirit of Medium Rare shall surely fill your heart and gird thy beltline.
If you fail to cover your skillet than Yea and verily much heat shall be lost, and thy efforts will have been in vain. There can be no reheating of the undercooked meat, and you must subsit on salisbury steak for forty days to become purified.
If you have done all I said, and thy burners are truly very very hot with righteousness, than do not feel tempted to leave the steak on the heat any longer. Do not listen to the voice of the evil one who would make you do so.
If your steak is pure and righteous than you shall never need fear the dreaded E. Coli, and shalt not suffer food poisoning.
But Know this!
If your steak is not pure and righteous
Or if it uttered a “Neiiigghhh,” a “BAAAA” or worse yet a “WOOOF!” whilst it was living. Indeed if it uttered anything than the sacred “MOOO” while it was alive than you may very well count yourself among the fallen and partake mightily of the antacid and toilet paper and stomach pump of the damned.
Only the finest of steak can undergo the sacred cooking technique without danger.
The faithful welcome the risk.
Bucky:
It just occured to me that it’s not really “Blood” in a medium rare steak. Even if it is, it’s still there when it’s benn cooked to death. It’s just blood that’s been cooked to death.
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt
Satan:
It is fundamental that Great Steak transcends race.
Is it conceivable that your establishment was not of the highest quality?
If so than your customers of color did the wise thing, and the caucasions were perhaps not cautious enough.
Were the steaks of the sacred variety?
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt
As long as we’re talking about cooking deadcow, I use two cast-iron frying pans when I make a roast. One on top, one on the bottom. Kafka (Barbara Kafka, author of “Roasting”) says one shouldn’t cover the meat because it ends up “steaming” instead of roasting. But that’s the way I do it.
Johnny L.A. wrote:
Nonsense. Everyone knows the ONLY way to eat steak is well done. There shouldn’t be so much as a hint of pink in it when you cut off a bite-sized slab. If it isn’t shoe leather, it’s not done enough.
Oh, and in case Satan asks: I’m not a member of the black community.
Tracer:
Are you trying to shock me with your profanity?
Are you trying to keep this thread from imminent exile to MPSIMS. If so, do not worry. I am sure that DavidB in all his scientific and skeptical wisdom understands the value of this thread (never hurts to kiss some ass.)
I know that you are lying.
I have read some of your posts and know you to be a reasonable and upright person.
Therefore you could never be guilty of the heinous crime to which you profess.
Perhaps you are a troll looking for trouble…No.
Wait!
I can feel your pain!
You overcooked a steak once, didn’t you?
You are consumed by guilt, and feel you must set yourself up for my scorn, as you feel you deserve punishment. Yes, that is it.
Don’t blame yourself. Despite all precautions it can happen, and you can falter.
Stop torturing youself. Share. Tell us what happened that you may be redeemed. Do not be afraid. You are among friends.
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt
Tracer’s right.
If you Neanderthals want to eat a raw cow, go ahead. But some of us have evolved.
When civilized human beings are asked how they want their stak done, they will answer, “Burn it.”
When the pin is pulled, Mr.Grenade is no longer our friend.
Obviously, I haven’t evolved enough to spell “steak.”
When the pin is pulled, Mr.Grenade is no longer our friend.
Et Tu Wally?
“Burn It” That is what you say.
Can man subsist on carbon alone?
Do you like a mouth full of ashes?
If that is how you feel then and you are so evolved…
WHY DON’T YOU GO CHEW ON A *@#&ING BRIQUET!!!
Why do you feel so compelled to desecrate a fine choice cut?
The English like their beef all tough and stringy. They also like their beer warm and flat. I’ll bet you think English people are pretty cool, don’t you?
You have my pity.
I believe it’s possible to keep Kosher and medium rare.
The proper piece of meat will already have the blood removed from it with the rubbing of coarse Kosher salt.
There.
Since I’m among kindred spirits here, I can confess one transgression I made while offering sacrifice to the great Grill Gods on my patio deck.
Knowing full well one of the Great Commandments of the Grill is, “Thou art the Grillkeeper, you shall not leave thy post next to the Holy Grill”
Tempted by the challenge of finishing up one more golf hole on the Sony Playstation, I did abandon my post for this abombinable purpose.
In the short space of my grevious sin, the two beautiful ribeyes went from medium rare, as God intended them, to a most evil and wicked shade of well done. I spurned the Grill Gods and they punished me for abandoning the Holy Grill for a false idol.
For this, I hang my head in shame.
To top it off, I double bogeyed the damn hole…
“…send lawyers, guns, and money…”
Warren ZevonScylla the Steak Fascist says I am to be pitied because I prefer my food to be cooked rather than wounded.
Yes, it’s true that chefs recommend that a steak should be served nearly raw, or as they say, “rare.” But it’s because they don’t want to stand over a hot grill. It gives them more time to go out back and toke up and laugh at the yutzes trying to eat a piece of meat that’s still moving.
Philistines!
When the pin is pulled, Mr.Grenade is no longer our friend.
Wally:
Fascist? No.
Purveyor of truth. Yes.
Great Chefs in their wisdom, make their recommendations based on Flavor, and Good Taste.
You claim that you like your steak well done, so you can toke up and watch us on our grills.
But a moments thought, and some applied logic will show you the error of your ways: One who prefers his steak well done must spend MORE time preparing it than the wise master who prefers it medium rare.
Thus the wise master has more time to laugh at the unfortunate one who must remain by the grill cooking his foul flesh into tasteless gristle.
I will cook a steak and name it Wally in the hopes that its excellent taste and perfection may somehow transfer itself to you, my poor misguided friend.
GET THEE TO A MCDONALDS PHILLISTINE!
Bluepony:
You sin twice. Go back and read what I have said about the Grill. The Grill gods are false, and they have led you to this unseemly predicament as well as your double bogey. Still it seems your intentions are good. Perhaps there is hope.
You must consume 5 Slim Jims as penance.
Often wrong… NEVER in doubt