Step off, bitca, and stop messing with my life! (looong)

What you are about to read may come off as paranoia, but I swear, it’s all true.

I have worked at my current job for seven months. When I arrived, I met a girl, oh, let’s call her “Amy”. Amy seemed like a nice girl at first. She is short like me, and was pretty friendly and flirtatious with customers. We confided in one another, and eventually I learned that she had a drug habit. She smoked and snorted heroin in the bathroom, and also regularly smoked pot at work, after the door was locked. It didn’t affect her work much, so I, being a “live-and-let-live” person, didn’t do or say anything about it.

A month ago, after she decided to give notice that she was quitting to go traveling at the end of March, everything went to hell. I spent one shift slacking off a little, caught shit for it when Amy complained to management, and afterwards I apologized and changed my behaviour. I’ve worked like a dog, and taken initiative on every shift since. Amy spent the next shift when she was scheduled to work not clocked in, not in uniform, but sitting in the office of the restaurant doing drugs with her friend, who is not an employee. I complained about this to management, mostly because I was stuck in the store for an extra two hours (for which I wasn’t paid, btw), doing her work for her. If I was going to get creamed for having a bad night, why shouldn’t she?

She went OFF on me. She told me that I had betrayed her, that I owed her because when I was taking longer to train than they’d thought and they were thinking about letting me go, she’d stuck up for me. She said that the owner had decided to lay her off two weeks early because he was tired of all the politicking that had been going on, which Amy blamed ME for. She told me that she no longer considered us friends. I felt awful about this. Afterwards, she told me that management had said they were glad that Amy had told me off, because I was “always bitching about my co workers”. Amy also claimed that two employees (who were perfectly civil to my face) had problems with me and had complained to management. That particular issue turned out to be a misunderstanding that we resolved face to face without any involvement from management at all.

Now, I have said exactly three bad things about my co-workers to other employees at my store: I described an undertrained employee as being “less useful than a sack of potatoes” during a rush, I told on Amy for uber-slacking, and I tattled (and I regret it now) that another employee lied to cover for Amy when she slacked. So now you can judge management’s alleged comment for whatever it’s worth.

I am beginning to suspect that Amy has been doing all the behind-the-back talking and the other people she fingered (including the two who had issues with me) were innocent. I am starting to think that Amy has been playing head games with me for a long time, and using me as a pawn. I know a few things about her. She has a pathological desire to be universally liked. She will tell two different versions of a story to two different people, according to what she thinks they want to hear, and not just in innocent situations either. I know lots of people “spin” things, but there is a big difference between spinning to spair someone’s feelings, and spinning something to CYA while throwing someone else to the wolves (no matter what Emmanuel Kant says. I ignore his usually excellent conclusions on this particular subject). Amy would claim to me that “[management] can’t even yell at me. I can do anything.” But then if she got a talking-to, she’d lash out at me. I started to wonder; If they never discipline her, what is there for her to be upset about?

Last night, Amy showed up at the store just before closing time. I was not there for most of her visit. She had bought food somewhere else, and was sitting there, eating it when I came upstairs to lock the door for the night. She is still working for our company, at another location for the week, so since she is still an employee of the owner, I didn’t shoo her out at closing like I would have anyone else in the store at closing time. I had a few fries, chatted for maybe five minutes, probably less, then went back downstairs to mop the kitchen floor. I was downstairs for the rest of her visit.

This morning, management called me to tell me that $500 had been stolen from the safe upstairs, at some time during the business day. I do not know the combination. As far as I know, the only people who do are management and the owner. It is possible that Amy could have figured out the combo, or gotten a higher-up to confide it to her. She’s very good at manipulating people.

Also, the past two nights, when I was the main closer at the store and she was nowhere to be found, the cash has been over instead of under for the first time in two weeks.

So far, she has smeared me, hurt my feelings and made me feel guilty, endangered my relationship with management and co-workers, and possibly stolen from the cash, specifically on a night when she knew I was the one responsible for the store.

And I still gave her $20 towards her trip money. :mad:

I sympathize. I know someone that’s almost exactly like this. In fact, he’s worthy of a pit thread of his own, on some day when I’m feeling more bitter and vindictive. Oh, and less swamped at work. :wink:

Stop being a sucker. She’s a liar, she’s a manipulator, she’s a drug addict, she cheats, steals, pits employees, friends and confidants against each other…she is the ultimate definition of “emotional leach”. Fuck her off, get rid of her, and get your fucking $20 back. She’s not going anywhere but to go get loaded with it anyways.

Who the fuck goes off on a “trip” somewhere and then has to borrow to actually make it?

The poor girl is an addict, acting like an addict, right in the middle of her addiction and she won’t change until she’s clean for a long time. You can’t change that, so don’t invest yourself anymore in it for the time being.


P.S.- I thought you managed a Wendy’s?

Halfway through your thread I’m wondering “How is this girl supporting her drug habit?”.

Now I know.

How could you not see that coming?

One last thing:

Being a friend is one thing, but feeding her co-dependency by covering for her simply enables her to be an addict and get away with it. You and anyone else who covers for her allows her to continue perpetrating the behavior you’re complaining about.


Hey, she used to work two jobs. Full-time.

She totally suckered us in by appearing trustworthy. She couldn’t have screwed me or management over if we hadn’t trusted us in the first place, right? IMO she started out ok and did a backslide; her drug use has become more and more extreme since Christmas, these problems popped up in February. There were warnings, but when someone has been trustworthy for a long time, IMO it takes a proportionately long time for warnings to turn into suspicion.

In the beginning, Amy would stay and do extra work without being asked; on Halloween night our sewer backed up because the chinese resto we share a space with didn’t clean their grease trap. It was a rainy autumn; the entire kitchen flooded, and we stayed until almost 4 in the morning trying to bail it out until the owner called and gave us permission (and taxi fare) to leave. She showed up the next morning, unasked and unpaid, to help the opening crew with the cleanup. When she did things like this, Amy seemed like someone who was ethical; she made us believe that she cared about the store. She convinced me that she was my friend. In the end, we were all just lambs on the altar of her addiction. She was so good at subterfuge, Machiavelli could have taken lessons from her.

Here is a list of my reasons for not telling, you can decide for yourself whether they were valid or not: She would make me feel crushingly, squirmingly guilty any time I told on her. She removed the possibility of any payoff I might get from telling by convincing me that if I told, management would see me as a troublemaker who was “always bitching”. In fact, that was all I got out of telling on her; being told that management now saw me in a bad light. I have never stolen money or goods from the store, nor defrauded or hurt the business in any way, and never would, but I’m not an angel either and I was afraid of what Amy would tell management in retribution. Friends keep each other’s secrets, right? Amy was supplying drugs to two people in management. She was almost universally liked by the other employees and the owner, whereas I am, if kind-hearted, a little more blundering in the socializing department.

Non-Amy related reasons: I hate workplace politics and for the first five months that I worked there, I never gossiped about other employees. I would actually consciously hold my tongue if someone started talking to me about a co-worker who was not present. I would never say anything about someone who wasn’t present, unless it was a compliment or praise. I forgot that for a few weeks, and everything went to hell. I am now re-implementing that tacit (ha ha) policy.

Now that she is gone, I am going to work harder than ever, keep quiet, and not make waves. I am hoping that when they see the problems went away when Amy did, they’ll put two and two together.


Your reasons are valid, if not for your kindness, then for the fact that you took her at her word because you didn’t know any differently. I wasn’t suggesting that you “tell”, or “tattle” on her, but that you not cover for her. If she’s chopping up a thick line of Heroin on the bathroom counter when your manager is looking for her, don’t say something like “She stepped out for a minute”, say something like, “I haven’t seen her in XX minutes or so, I think she went towards the bathroom” or something. It’s the small things that amounted to one big ol’ heaping serving of “used by a friend”. BTDT.

As for this little gem:

Well, let me just say in this case that you’re fooked, and hopefully you’ll be able to find employment by the time the shit hits the fan with those 2 people.

Sorry for your experience, I think we all have at least one of these “leraning experiences” in our lifetime.



I don’t even know if I would have covered for her if the scenario you posit had happened, because it never did. Management is typically sitting in front of the boob tube with a margarita around the time that I am (and Amy was) working. We were both night shift girls.

I probably would have said something noncommittal, like, “She’s in the bathroom.” if they had said; “Again?” My response would have been; “Maybe she’s not feeling well. I dunno. She hasn’t said anything to me.” Then it would have been up to them. However, if asked a direct question, I wouldn’t have lied. That’s another policy of mine at work - no lying.

Lola, I think we’re getting off track and you may have misunderstood me(probably me being unclear again).

Having been in similar situations, I’ve learned that some people just need enough rope to hang themselves with. Next time you’re in a situation like this, maybe you’ll think twice in doing whatever it was that you did to enable her behavior. I’m not there with you, so I can’t say for sure what it was, or what you could change to alter the outcome.

Best of luck, hope things turn out fine.


Oh no, GaWd, I never meant for my post to seem hostile towards you. I enjoy your well thought out, moderate posting style. I appreciate less abrasive posters. :slight_smile:
I was just trying to give you (and anyone else who might happen upon this thread), a more elaborate picture of what was going on. I apologize if I seemed defensive.

I am also starting to suspect that she was using her powers of manipulation to place blame everyone but herself (and especially me) for the incriminating things that were going on. An example: When closing the store was taking too long, and part of the reason was that she was spending too much time on smoke breaks and socializing, she made sure that all of the blame was placed on me. When I began doing really spectacular closes with two other employees, thereby disproving that I was the problem, she fomented tension between me and the other employees, while making it look like she was on my side. Amy had it all pretty airtight; she was grooming people like me and management before she made her move.

No problem Lola, you didn’t seem hostile or defensive.

Sha acts like a textbook addict. Nothing is her fault, everything is everybody else’s fault, she manipulates, lies, cheats and steals…all the while taking absolutely ZERO responsibility for the mess.

I have a cousin who’s an addict. He was better for about 3 or 4 years, having only “fallen off the wagon” once or twice in that period of time. Unfortunately, he’s been acting shady recently and I know that he’s using again. He won’t talk to me or my mom, fights with his wife and her, well, she’s in complete denial-but coming around slowly.

He does the same shit-he’s the victim, everyone’s out to fuck him over, someone must have stolen that $20 from him, Blah, Blah…

Pity, really. It looks like I might end up with a pit thread like yours in a few months LoL :slight_smile:


That was the first and foremost mistake you made. You should have reported it the first time you found out about it. If you had, NONE of the other shit would have happened.

There is no excuse for drug abuse and there is no excuse for condoning it. Junkies will shit all over their own lives and anyone else’s who comes in contact with them, and they don’t care. You found that out the hard way.

She did the junkie thing and exploited you. And you fell for it instead of lighting her up. Sorry, Lola, but there it is.

Eek! Zombie thread! :eek:

The further you stay away from drug addicts, the better.

Don’t associate with them, don’t befriend, don’t even TALK to them if you can help it. You can’t trust a word they say and all they want to do is bleed you dry.

Since she’s giving drugs to 2 managers, I’d get outta there if I were you.

Eesh. Three threads on the first page on the same topic. :smack: