Stepford Students?

I work as a lab manager for the research branch of a University. Every summer we have a handful of undergraduate students work in the lab. Over the years, there have been students that I have gotten along with and students I could do without.

This summer we have four young women as student workers. They are all blonde, they all have athletic bodies and all four of them wear similar clothing. I have a hard time telling them apart! Right now I have them catagorized by how they annoy me: Miss Wears-Crop-Tops in the Lab, Miss ipod on all the time, Miss Flip-Flops, and Miss That’s Gross.

Its been a long summer. May the Stepfords move on and never darken my bench again. . .

You could do what Will did with the interns on West Wing–get them all football jerseys and just call them by their numbers.

I hope they’re not perky. Saints preserve you (and them) if you have to deal with perky all day.

Occasionally perky. :rolleyes: Especially on Mondays. How can you be perky on a Monday? :confused: I really loath overhearing them talking about their “hookups.”

*Sorry girls, I’m old and cranky and a little prudish. I don’t care what concert you went to and I don’t want to hear you talking about you did with the “hottie” you met there. *

Oh my Gawd, it’s The Debbies!

(c.f. Angus Oblong’s 13 tragic tales for troubled children)

I just looked it up !

Yep, that’s them. I’m to old to do what Helga did, but it is very tempting. :smiley:

(Ok, I’m 29 and the Stepfords are 19 or 20. Feels like there is an epoch between me and them.)

How about War, Famine, Pestilence and Death?

I like it! :cool:

War: aka Miss That’s Gross. Wants to go to med school. Hates doing animal work, especially disections. I would love to see how she does during her first semester of gross anatomy. Its a dead person. That’s gross!

Famine: aka Miss Wears-Crop-Tops in the Lab. Very, very pretty. Our loney guy grad student drools over her. I have never seen her eat lunch. Hummmmmm. . .

Pestilence: aka Miss Flip-Flops. Because I think that wearing flip-flops in a work environment is unprofessional and foolhardy, but this is becoming more common.

Death: aka Miss ipod on all the time. Didn’t hear me shouting when her experiment was boiling over. Its only a matter of time before she’s hit by a truck, or me - in a bad mood and trying to get her attention. I’m joking. I’m joking.

Hmmm…do you have names and numbers for them? Purely for research purposes, of course. :smiley:

I was going to ask if he was lonely or looney, but then I delved back into my own experience and decided that this is a perfect neologism. Convey my best wishes in his endeavor.

Is the wearing of flip-flops in the lab even permitted? I’m assuming their are solvents and some kind of mild caustic agents which mandate full foot coverage. Then again, I (briefly) worked in a lab where people were handling MMH with just a Class B fume hood, and was a little suprised that people weren’t showing up with illnesses or chronic disease, so maybe I’m just oversensitive.


As lab manager I double as the fashion police. Flip-flops and other open-toed shoes are a big no-no. I also object to middrift baring tops because the exposed skin is at bench level. (I would love to take a picture of one of these students. Flip-flops, bare stomach, safety glasses, and gloves. :dubious: What’s wrong here?) Female students give me the most headaches. Heaven forbind that they wear something that covers their “tight” abs and painted toes. I want to scream, “Why do I have to tell you about appropriate clothing every-freakn’-day?” I will deny students access to the lab and send them home. (Yep. I’m a big pain in the butt. The up side is there have been no accidents. Why am I so militant? Because I have been around long enough to see bad things happen and its a bigger pain in the ass than sending a dim student away.)

I am female and I absolutely agree - there are work specific clothes to be worn. You do not need to wear ultra-tight clothes to work, nor do I need to see your belly.

Thank you! :slight_smile:

They probably think it’s hot. And I hate flip-flops for work wear.

Now, I wear sandals to work ten months out of the year - but I work in an office. No chemicals are going to drop on my feet.

I just don’t get it. Dress for the occasion is a Very Important Rule.

I have a standing rule of attire for anyone who works under my supervision, including the interns and student workers.

No boobs.
No bellies.
No butts.
No balls.

If your clothing fails any of the four b rules, you go home.

Shorts, flip flops, and shirts without sleeves are not permitted and will result in immediate orders to go home.

I just pull 'em aside and tell 'em 'You can come back when you’ve learned to dress yourself properly. They all get a printed copy of the official dress code when they start anyway.

Tee hee.

Once we had a coworker’s 16 YO daughter working at our office as a volunteer, and she came in two days wearing ultra-short shorts, her little ass cheeks hanging out all over the place. Um…no.

<homerism> Mmmmmm. Perky blondes. </homerism>

There was a movie or TV show or something that called the student clone girls “The Gwyneths.” All blonde, long hair, California looking girls.

Yes. pictures. definitely pictures.

You could always do what my high school Chem teacher did!

We took us into the lab on our first day to give us the basic rundown of safety rules, where everything is, lab procedure, etc. He tells me to take one of my sandals off, and I do so. He grabs it, holds it up and says ‘You do NOT wear these in the lab at any time! …Ewwww, your shoe reeks!’. Yeah, I know, I used odor eater stuff on them, but they still reeked, and you really didn’t notice unless it was a foot from your nose, but how was I to anticipate he’d ask for my sandal?

I can’t resist making this suggestion, which you can take seriously or not.

How about on the first day having their first assignment be to make a poster about appropriate and inappropriate labwear? You can pretty much count on them having camera phones to illustrate the poster. Then they can police each other during the summer as “Lab Fashion Don’ts.”