I’m a man, and I really don’t understand the disdain for jewelry. Granted, I never buy any for myself, but occasionally I’ll buy something for my wife. A nice piece looks incredibly pretty. Nice things cost money.
Clearly you are a misogynistic bastard. What is she, a plaything for you to adorn? How antiquated and sexist. 
Really, I’m not here to make friends; I’m here to solicit opinions from (relatively) intelligent people, and next to give them when requested. I’ve read the dope since 2002, but joined only recently because I felt I’d “taken” so much good advice and conversation for so long but hadn’t given any. (I think I’m best at giving help in food and tv show related threads.) But I do appreciate the fact you agree with my sentiments, but I don’t think the delivery should distract from the message. The child of money debacle was awful, I think we can all agree, in no part helped by the fact there was no modding presence whatsoever (you were one of the few posters who actually talked about the topic at hand instead of attacking me).
I couldn’t agree more that the conversation doesn’t really overlap between the topics, but it somehow diverged earlier.
I’m not contesting that once you’re secure in a job that you can do whatever you want. One of my bosses wore skull and crossbones stockings in the library and clearly didn’t know what a lint brush was. She’s fantastic, she has a chance of being promoted to the department head when the old one retires, but I don’t think she’ll reach her ultimate goal of the directorship because of her appearance. After tenure, you can pretty much do whatever you want, but I somehow doubt that the “wild n’ crazy” baby boomers showed up to their interviews for the job and for their tenure meetings all wild 'n crazy. If they did, they’re probably at a very liberal college - either geographically or per the school itself.
It’s obviously a personal preference, but I don’t like encouraging sloppy dressing (it’s a slippery slope from business casual to casual Fridays) or a more casual attitude toward kept hair and face. It’s more pleasant for me to look at my boss in slacks and a blouse than with tufts of cat hair all over her thrift store black sweater. It seems to me that when people have a baseline to work from, their grooming standards have a baseline as well.
Yesterday afternoon, my boyfriend was hired for a library position that many students apply for (different department than I was in). When he turned in his application to the department head several weeks ago - in slacks, a button down shirt and a tie - her exact words were “Wow, well if I could hire you on the spot, I would!” Is it any surprise that he got the job? It’s job that could be done by pretty much any college student, and from working there previously I know that they had at least 100 applicants. He’s very bright, but every applicant met the requirements (be a student, be able to work with computers) and it’s doubtful any one of them could have done the job any better or worse than he. He set himself apart from the rest by his appearance. Game, set, match.
Huh. Sounds to me like you have a little competition with that boyfriend of yours! Watch out for late nights stacking books. Or, early mornings updating the catalog.
Fair enough. 
Yeah, thing is, there are very few professions that offer any security like tenure. I do feel that I have more leeway now at my job than when I first started, just because people know me and my work better. I don’t wear makeup every single day, simply because sometimes my skin gets very irritated and I need a day off, but I do on the days when I am training or have meetings. And I might have a day where my outfit isn’t as carefully chosen as other days (hey, I have 2 school-aged kids!), but I wouldn’t get much leeway at all if I showed up wearing jeans. In fact, I’d probably get sent home.
But now I’m continuing the thread drift…
Thanks for the information. Your description prompted me to buy this book and I have read the first chapter. It’s pretty interesting so far.
The library profession is very “who you know”. Almost disgustingly so. While I’m not saying that most librarians dress in wild and crazy ways (few do, and the “funky librarian” meme is almost pure fiction), who you know is what puts you over the top, not what you wear.
Does your husband know about your boyfriend? :dubious: I thought you told us you were married?
She’s said she has a boyfriend, not that she’s married. In another thread, she referred to her future mother in law. She made it pretty clear that she wasn’t married but was in a serious relationship (I believe she specified that she and her boyfriend had plans on when to get engaged, based on when he’d be done with his studies).
You know you can use google to search the boards, or even deal with the search engine. No offense, but doing that you could have found out that she has mentioned a boyfriend/future spouse a few times. The google search works pretty well. Look here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11650034#post11650034 and read all about it.
Slacks and a tie set him apart from the other applicants? :dubious:
My husband has bought me jewelry and he’s one of the most forward-thinking men I know. He bought me jewelry, I bought him an expensive new amp for his guitar. We spent about the same. Does it matter if he’s buying me jewelry? We both wanted to get each other nice gifts for Christmas and that’s what we bought. He knows I like jewelry, so he bought it for me.
He doesn’t do it “just for the hell of it” or to “decorate” me. He does it because he knows I love pretty sparkly things and I would love the piece he gave me. If I were into guitars or cars or something, he could have bought me something in that arena. But I’m not. And since arranging a private visit from the (living) members of Monty Python isn’t feasible, I’ll gladly take the pretties.
I was kidding. See my earlier post about lusting after a certain Coach bag and throwing in my love of shoes and jewelry to balance it all out. See, also, my winking smiley.
(I finally got the bag, by the way, on eBay for a steal. A lot of the people in that linked BagBorroworSteal thread were way off—the reason why I wanted this bag in particular is not at all because “everyone has it” and I’m a sheep. Just the opposite. I’ve only seen one person with it in real life and it’s beautiful and unique. Baaaaaaa.)
Sorry. I’m still waking up… This thread has gone back and forth so many times, I can’t remember who is on what side…
Sorry about that!
pricciar, that…wow. That thread is very inclusive, of all I could ever possibly want to know about the SDMB.
Huh, I never knew that. Of course, I was never privy to the hiring practices. Nobody but my boss (from a different department) even knew I had a boyfriend or what he looked like. So there couldn’t have been any preference given to him.
Yeah, it’s a position for college students. I know, it sounds crazy to me too, but the only people I see who don’t blink an eye for wearing slacks and a tie are the business school kids. I think it’s also partly that Pittsburgh is a pretty informal city. Once, during an internship interview a few years ago, I was told at the end of the interview that 1) So long as my clearances came back okay (I’d have some interaction with children) I had gotten the position and 2) that I was far too overdressed. I wasn’t even in a suit! :eek:
Yep, this is it.
Okay, never mind, I was wrong. :smack: