Watch out for the Eagle Rays. They can fly!
I hope you all are proud of yourselves. I’ll have you know that I’ve known hundreds of stingrays. Maybe thousands. Without exception, they have all been kind, generous, peace-loving, cartilaginous marine fish. And now you assholes want to judge the lot of them, based on a radical, extreme few. What if I were to judge all humans based on Jeffrey Dahmer and Benny Hinn?
Sound familiar? 
You’ll feel differently, lying there in a ditch…well, creek with a poisonous barb jammed into your paricardium…paricardium…pericardunm…
Can I get back to you on this?
Yeah, but fortunately they get sucked into jet engines.
Sailboat
I recently read a fiction book whose title I have blocked from memory about a flock of some type of ray that not only learned how to actually fly through the air, but breathe air as well. It was laugh-out-loud bad.
Benny Hill was a cannibal?
The news articles are now saying this old man did in fact get his heart pierced by the barb, and the only reason he lived was because he didn’t pull it out. I wonder if Irwin’s highly publicised death saved this guy’s life?
I’m wondering if the kids in the boat or the man (if he lives long enough) will ever tell us what really happened. In order for the ray to have deliberately attacked the man, it would have had to not only leap from the water, but execute a backflip or something so that it was coming down tail first. The venomous spine only projects backward, even when raised.
I suspect that the ray got into the boat (either by launching itself or being hauled up by the guy) and the man decided to lean over its back, either to throw it back in or otherwise mess with it.
Unfortunately, this will probably lead to one more round of idiots senselessly killing rays for no reason.
They’re all in on it . . . It’s a vast conspiracy . . . Martha Raye, Ray Stevens, Ray Charles, Ina Ray Hutton, Ray Liotta, Ray Milland, Aldo Ray, Ray Bolger, “Ray Jay” Johnson, Fay Wray . . .
Rae Dawn Chong, 1920’s Style Death Ray.
You suspect correctly. A CNN story says that according to police, he was trying to get the ray off the boat.
Same way stringrays always get into your pajamas. They put on some Barry White, they pour you a few drinks and tell you that you have beautiful eyes and that nobody, on land or in the ocean, has ever made them feel as special as you do and that they hope this moment never ends. Then they put a stinger in your heart, and a couple of months later you find somebody else’s lipstick on your aquarium.
Fucking stingrays.
AntiStingrayite!
I blame global warming.
In the early stages of battle the attacks by inexperienced stingrays can be expected to be clumsy, but two shots to the chest should raise alarms. When we start getting attacked by combat hardened veteran stingrays with frickin’ laser beams attached to their fins, it’s game over, baby!
Perhaps we should nuke them from orbit.
But only guys named Ray need to worry, right?
BTW the CNN video says they were “Adult grandchildren”, not kids, in the boat.
Everybody loves ray, monde!
Don’t you all SEE what is happening?!?
This is obviously a plot by The Sharks to throw us off the trail of the real danger.
That’s right. These stingrays were paid off.
Now when people go to the beach, instead of fearing sharks as they properly ought to be, they are all going to be on the lookout for stingrays. Stingray Alerts, Stingray Protection Services, Stingray Survivors’ Support Groups are all going to be springing up like cauliflower. And you know what? That’s going to be when the sharks move in and take the easy bait, since everyone will be so busy looking for stingrays they forgot about sharks entirely.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Where’s the Raid[sup]TM[/sup]?
Don’t let the president know…
we’ll cross that, Ray, when we come to it