http://www.wcsh6.com/story/news/local/2015/12/01/beer-truck-stolen-portland-711-crashes-into-barn-limerick/76609836/
This has been the talk of the town today. A 19 year old girl stole a beer truck when it was making a delivery at a store. She was high on heroin, and drove it about 40 miles before crashing into a barn.
There was a young girl high on crank
Had no time to visit a bank
When they said “You hit a shed”
She replied “Why didn’t it shred,
I could have sworn this was a tank.”
There once was a drugged up girl from Limerick
It sounds like her many charges will stick
Of the truck that she stole
& in the barn left a hole
Maybe this time they’ll build it with brick
Girl plays with needles
Happiness is a warm truck
The beer is no more
There once was a girl so slight
whose eyes were exceedingly bright.
She came much too near
to a truck full of beer.
And drove it off into the night.
A girl took some internet flack
when her night went a wee bit off track.
“Did I leave that hole?”
said the girl named Nicole
“That must have been some mighty fine smack.”
Was the beer OK?
Headline from Jalopnik.
“Angry Orchard Truck Seeks Revenge For Fallen Tree Brethren By Taking Out Wooden Barn”
There once was a girl that could fuck
Up delivery of beer by a truck
Not giving a darn
She smashed into a barn
Angry Orchard is a peach of a puck.
It was hard cider, not beer.
A young junkie was wandering and spied her,
A vulnerable truck so she decided to ride’ er.
Smashed into a barn,
and ruined a farm,
and ended up with cold peaches in cider.
Most likely there was beer, liquor and non-alcoholic drinks on board.
Depends on the distributor, contracts, service areas and the specific route the truck was on.
I used to drive for a distributor and despite the giant “SNAPPLE” on the truck, it was a mix of products.
You think the orchard was angry, oi! Talk to the barn owner.
With all those drugs in her system, I’m amazed she could hit the broad side of a barn.
I’m getting a weird vision here…something like the Grateful Dead guest-starring on the Great White North…“What a long, strange trip it’s been, eh?”