Stoopid Ensign

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

(not sure if this would go in the Pit, as I find it to be a funny story)

This afternoon the only two people in 32nd St Naval Station’s 1st Lt. Office were myself, and a GSM3 (E-4). Phone rings.

It was my roommate, a FC3 (E4), "Hey Bucher, they’ll be an Ensign S0-and-so along shortly, play along.

“Uhm, okay.”

Sure enough, an Boot Ensign walked in. Nothing on his chest except for the warm body ribbon everyong has.

“Can I help you sir?”

“Yes Seaman, I’m looking for a battery for a sound-powered Telephone.”

Long silence.

GSM3 (E-4 with me) says "I beg your pardon Sir?

Ensign repeats. “A FC3 over at the Firecontrol School supply office sent me here.”

Me: “Well sir, We’ll all out of batteries for sound-powered phones. I think the Shiloh has some, they’re at Pier one.”

Ensign leaves for Shiloh.

45 minutes later…

“You think this is F–king funny? I’m going to write all of you up!”

“Go ahead sir, the Capitain will laugh at you.”

He wrote ALL of us up, went to his CO, who asked why on Earth he thought a sound-powered telephone would have batteries.

Dumbass.

Our best and brightest at work.

2

You didn’t give him a bucket of steam as a consolation prize?

3

Glad to see the “Boot” jokes are still going on…

A box of grid squares is what we would have sent him looking for…

I once convinced a supply officer to get us a compass heading inside a helo in flight… with an oldstyle HAND HELD compass.

it was funny at first, but upon further review, made me quite nervous…this guy had just been assigned to an infantry unit!

Stranger OUT

4

Next week, send him to a carrier for 50 yards of flightline.

5

Bwahahaha!

I once sent an Airman Basic to get me an ID-10T form.

Three hours later he figured it out. Proof, I say.

6

Hee hee! I was married to a stoopid ensign once. I’m sure he never fell for anything like that!

Space Ghost, do you live in San Diego? If so, we’ve got a fest coming up, if you can make it!

7

I was an ensign once, but I was enlisted for 6 years prior to commissioning, so I never got caught with that sort of prank. I heard all kinds of stories, tho. Like sending a hapless newbie out to get a bucked of propwash…

8

OK, they don’t, but they don’t necessarily don’t. It’s possible it’s like a solar powered torch - it charges up in the day, and is used at night.

For that matter, what if he gets an order that sounds stupid but is genuine? Is he supposed to argue? Ignore it? Follow it?

Other considerations include - spending an hour looking for imaginary equipment is probably more fun that whatever else you might be doing. Sitting on a toilet pretending to be looking is prob. the best of all :slight_smile: And embarassing people by seeing straight through their pranks is maybe not a good idea.

That said, this one sounds stupid or a jerk for reporting it. I suggest sending him to look for 100m of firing line :slight_smile:

9

A regular compass won’t work inside a helicopter?

10

We once had a corpsman busy all day looking for a black smoke grenade for night ops.

11

Last week someone tried to get me (this is my first station off of CNC Corry Station) to look for the I D 10 Tango form. Thank Jay I have a tendency to visualize things when people mentioned it.

Ruined that poor Guy’s day, I did. :slight_smile:

Yeah, I’m ikn San Diego. I wasn’t seriously considering going to the SoCalfest because I’m mostly a lurker and not a poster though.

12

I was a 2LT once, but only in the Civil Air Patrol. :smiley:

Ever send someone out for some dehydrated water? :smiley:

(Here’s my can of it. :smiley: :smiley: )

13

Well, lurkers are welcome, too, if you change your mind.

Dehydrated water. Ha!

14

Cardinal-

a HAND held compass.

Not a compass mounted in the instrument cluster that has been hardened/adjusted for the structural metal in the bird…

15

WARNING: Sea Story ahead. There was a new guy checked into MASS-1 at MCAS, Cherry Point, NC, and was told by the Gunny to go get a hundred yards of flightline. Thing was, this new guy had been around the block and knew people. He arranged to have a Sergeant from MWSS-271 deliver, on a big honkin’ super sized forktruck driven halfway across base, about a dozen sheet of mo-matting (AM-2 Matting), the stuff they use for expeditionary airfields. Delivered to the Gunny.

16

Don’t laugh! It’s the perfect anti-freeze for old VW engines!

17

Now, UncleBill, you know sea stories begin with “This is a no-sh*tter…”

:smiley:

18

Yeah, but THIS one was TRUE!

19

What, you never sent anyone out for a gallon of propwash?

I gave an airman an award on an ID10-T before. He didn’t get it until I pointed it out to him.

Tripler
Yeah, “propwash”. Used to help rinse off the “jetwash”.

20

In Stinger everyone is taught Visual Identification of Friendly and Enemy Aircraft, but the fourth generation Reconnaissance model of the Lancer supersonic bomber always caught people. B1-RD.