Do I have my place of residency on top of a permanent glacier?.. No
Are my next door neighbors penguins?.. Still No
This leads me to ask the simple question: Why in the name of all that is holy and unholy is it still fucking snowing?
This is my godamn forecast. Its the same forecast they’ve had for the past 2 weeks. They keep saying it’ll get better in a couple days, but it never ever fucking does. I don’t blame the meteorologists. I know they are doing the best they can. I lay the blame squarely at the feet of Mother Nature.
I am fucking pitting that goat felching syphalitic elephant fellating bitch of all bitches.
First: Do you have not the intellect of an amoeba on crack to realize that May in the Northern Hemisphere is supposed to be Godamn Spring!? Can you not read a calendar? Did you not notice its not winter anywhere else?
Second: What did we do to earn a special place in that frozen lump of coal that passes for your heart? Did we squick your favourite pig or felch your favourite goat? You would think we had sodomized your son or something.
Third: Hi Opal!
As I am running late I will have to finish up quickly. You have shit 3 inches of that lovely white shit since friday. Enough is enough. We already have a short enough growing season as it is. Unless you want massive famine or sometihng, quit the bitch-mongering and let us have some spring before its summer and you crank the dial up to 35C like we know you will.
If I ever meet you, I’m going to piss out an icicle and jab it in your eye. I hope you freeze to death.
Bitch
(Now I’m done venting about the craptacular weather. Please no druids or wiccans flame me as the use of Mother Nature was a personification of the elements and not so much a deity of any sort. Thank You.)
I won’t flame you. I do that kind of thing myself, and I have offered supplications to Gaia. I also still rant at God, and Jesus Christ, so it’s even as far as I’m concerned.
Our weather stations have a hell of a time predicting yesterday’s weather, :smack: so I’m not holding my breath that next week is going to be any nicer.
I wish it was cold year round here, like it was where I used to live…snow in December and in June. Hot sticky icky weather is such a drag. It is best to be dark and well below freezing. aaahhhh.
In southern Alberta it is possible for it to snow in any month of the year. I was rather depressed when I saw all the snow in Calgary because I didn’t have any of my ski clothes with me and I would have loved to take a day or two and hit the slopes. It was even worse when on Saturday it was chilly and snowy and in Dallas it was about 90.
