Stop imposing your culinary choices on me!

The BBQ Pit
1

Argh! Knock it off! Knock it off!

No, I will not taste any of your bizarre disgusting culinary creations! Heaven only knows what manner of bizarre, unnatural experiments you’ve been conducting to produce these unearthly abominations. I don’t care if you created these using cutting edge gene-splicing or Green Dye #9; I refuse to partake of any such sick, twisted verdant pork or poultry products.

I will not consume them for my lunch. I will not have them over brunch. I will not partake of them in my car. I will not have them in a bar. I will not try them on a lark. I will not try them in the park.

So knock it off already!

2

Have a drink.

3

This is the thanks I get!?!

A DAGGER! A DAGGER IN MY HEART!!! :frowning:

4

Here, try these pickled lamb tongues. They’re so good they lick your lips for ya!

5

So what do you have against Chilttlin’ Chip Ice Cream? I bet you’ve never even tried it.

6

Forty-seven hours in labor, an episiotomy, and I feed you and clothe you for all these years! And what do I ask in return? Nothing! Do I complain that you didn’t call your mother - or maybe even send me some flowers - on Mothers’ Day? Do I complain when you come home for a visit and instead spend the whole week out with your friends? Do I complain that you’re still not married, although God knows you’re not getting any younger? No! And what to I get in return? I get insulted, in my own kitchen!

7

Oh, don’t be such a baby. Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

After, of course, going through this.

8

Fine. Don’t eat any of my pork flavored ice cream. See if I care.

:mad:

9

Just wait’ll you get a kid- he wanted me to taste his french fries dipped in soda.

10

I’m going to assume you won’t find that in the Kosher dairy section…

JThunder, how’s about some carrots with mustard?
well, that’s how my daughter liked them as a baby

Vlad/Igor

11

I think JThunder has just guaranteed that he’ll never be a judge on Iron Chef.

12

I’m still waiting for my brother open his legendary ice-cream shop, 31 Flavors of Pain, and Pork. Flavors include:
-Baby Rat Chunk
-Hooks 'n Worms
-Orange Juice and Toothpaste
-Spackle
-Old-Fashioned French Sweat

I’ll mention Chitlins to him: he might find a place on the menu.

Daniel

13

Just for that, I won’t share my egg-drop ramen surprise with you. (now with vienna sausage!)

14

You know what pissed me off? Feline millinery!

I’m not interested in item a or item b. They have no place in this abode. Impel them to flee!

15

“Feline millinery.” That is truly astute. Not like the guy that I’m pitting, the brute.

These foods that I mentioned, they are truly reprehensible. They should never be eaten by anyone sensible. Their bizarre pigmentation is utterly vile, and to take just a bite… well, that’s not my style.

I refuse to taste them. I refuse to partake. Don’t ever you try; it would be a mistake.

They’re simply unnatural, these ovoids, this pork. Such items should never be touched with knife or with fork. I shall never consume them, so don’t waste your time. Never ask me again, not even in rhyme.

16

…anybody want a peanut?

17

So, JThunder, you gonna eat those green eggs and ham?
No?

Then, dammit, hand over that plate
I’m freaking hungry, don’t make me wait.

18

This is a naturally green source of protien. :stuck_out_tongue:

19

Anyone want a circus peanut?

I’ll even offer some of my sister-in-law the corn freak’s creamed corn ice cream.

20

A few years ago I attended a cooking demonstration by one of the more colorful chefs in the area. I don’t remember any of his recipies, but I do remember a bit of wisdom he imparted. He said that if someone offers something you’d rather not sample, do not tell them anything like you probably wouldn’t like it. It will then become for them a Life Goal to get you to eat whatever it is.

Instead you say something like, “Aw-w-w-w. I just love <whatever>, but I’m allergic to it.” Then, they will feel sorry for you, and Leave You Alone.

DD