A large number of the Teeming Millions boarded this historic train in Paris; others would board later.
Two hours out of the Paris station the passengers in the car just behind the fuel car heard a loud scream. Then they craned their necks and saw that Dougie_Monty and…
his comical mokey butler Gimbo were dashing out of a passenger compartment that they were not assigned to. They fled towards the rear of the train, cursing loudly as they went. Upon investigating the disturbance in the compartment, Horseflesh was startled to see…
…at least one naked, flushed female Doper annoyed that the tryst had been disrupted. Horseflesh still hadn’t ascertained the source of the loud scream.
As the train wended its way toward Switzerland, a conductor was startled to see a huge pile of discarded clothing–and no passengers–in one car, and some ecstatic sounds coming from the next car. The conductor, an old roue himself, reckoned…
…that aliens had abducted all the Dopers and left their clothes behind (after all, most medical experiments required that the subjects be bereft of outer- and undergarments). The ecstatic sounds, growing louder by the second, were probably a ruse set up by the aliens to entice the sexually starved Dopers into their transference beam.
Having encountered situations like this before, the conductor wisely turned and headed back to the engine. At that moment, the lights went out and the train lurched sickeningly. The lights flickered back on and the conductor found himself on the floor staring up at…
. . . . . . A UFO, blinking he realised it was just a swinging lightbulb. He stood and steadying himself on a nearby tree, looked around.
Stepping into the next carriage, he discovered the reason for the temporary power outage. Hooked up to the generator was a large . . . .
mechanical dildo hammering away at an orifice that can not be named of what appeared to be one of those alien abducted dopers who was not only bereft of outer- and undergarments but he was also quite hirstute…
…and he said, “The abudctors are returning us. We’re too hirsute.”
And a similar scream was heard as the abducted Dopers–still stark naked–were returned to the pasenger cars. What ensued, until the train crossed the border into Switzerland, was a long period of…
…confusion, bickering, and unfortunate acrimony as various nude Dopers attempted to retrieve their own clothing, including underwear, hosiery/socks, shoes, hats, overcoats, etc. The tumult died down as the train approached Bern, where more Dopers would board. Quite a nunmber of non-Dopers alighted from the train at the Bern station, and then…
off in the distance, a yodel echoed…
ending in a blood-curdling scream!
Just them a group of Dopers came sauntering up the station platform wearing hunting garb and carrying long double-barrelled shotguns.
One of them turned to the others and asked: "Did you hear that?
Sounds like He is around here alright! I suggest we…
“…break out our own shotguns just in case.”
And a number of Dopers did, mostly 12-gauge Ithaca shotguns with .00 magnum-load ammo. So when He entered the car he would see some from the Teeming Millions, with eyes fixed on him, and all carrying shotguns.
And She came into the car a moment later. Six feet tall. perfect proportions, golden-brown hair three feet long; green ski sweater, accend ski pants. She was…
… smoking a cigar and playing the banjo. She looked around at the well-armed dopers and said…
“Are those guns in your pockets or are you just happy to see me?”
With that, she swayed seductively down the aisle, brushing her ample hips against numerous Doper shoulders, until she reached the door at the other end, where she turned to face her appreciative audience.
All eyes were on her as she reached languidly into her pocket and produced…
A Popeil Pocket DoppelFester Field Generator. Her eyes were narrowed slits of crimson red. Her fingertips had been gnawed to the nail beds, and an odd light blue fluid oozed out from under the tattered remnants of her nails.
She was unlike any the Dopers had known before. Resting her afore-mentioned ample hip against the shoulder of Cartooniverse, she set to the task of rapidly neutralizing the ganglial pathways of everyone in the rail car. Her printless fingertips danced gaily. Now and again, her eyes would flicker down into the adoring gaze of Toons, now helplessly under her spell. He hoarsely whispered the words that would seal his fater forever and insure an eternity of ignominious servitude, always the bridesmaid, never the bride, uttering
.
With that, Roz ( easily the world’s most dangerous Doper ) flicked the last button and squeezed down on the Relay Relay. That triggered the Relay Trigger which in turn triggered the Trigger Trigger, causing all of the Dopers in the car to simultaneously and at the same time also, lose their memories.
Roz flipped her hair impetuously, swayed her ample hips and generous decolletage as she did so, and with a cock of a finger towards her new womanservant Cartooniverse, she strode out the door of the rail car, and leapt over the railing in one astonishingly smooth gesture, followed closely by her new womanservant. With a slight “oof”, they both alighted upon…
Bumbazine, who had been absent-mindedly standing on the platform eating a peanut butter and calamari sandwich and ogling the wares of an itinerant bagpipe vendor.
The vendor, outraged at thus losing a possible customer, reached under his frumerous coat and…
removed his pet hamster. Suddenly, there was silence. All these years, the Dopers had heard about the hamsters, but not one had laid eyes on them. Hammie crawled up to Bumb’s shoulder, slid down his hand and started nibbling at the peanut butter sammich. Obviously, the board was down while Hammie was doing this. There were moans and groans from within the train. Dopers with their wireless connection to the 'net couldn’t get their fix. They figured they’d have to…
…tap into the connection only recently installed aboard the Orient Express, which wouldn’t take CompuServ, Netscape, or any Broadband service.
Meanwhile, dougie_monty– who had been enjoying a late lunch in the dining car, pretty far back in the train–had met some old friends who were firefighters, some on hand at the tragedy of Sept. 11. 
Outraged at the commotion caused by the sensuous Amazon who had paralyzed Dopers in a forward car, Dougie armed himself–not with a shotgun, but with a state-of-the-art fire extinguisher. He’d been handling these things for a while and saw a golden opportunity to zap this woman before she screwed things up any further for any of the Teeming Millions.
Several of the more socially-conscious female Dopers, themselves seething at what this monstrous woman had done, picked up fire extinguishers and proceeded with him toward the forward car. The Amazon didn’t have a chance, and…
…as she valiantly, but fruitlessly, tried to fight off the herd of indignant Dopers with their incessant, well-aimed zaps from those millions of fire extinguishers, she breathed out one final, deadly curse on all those Dopers who dared…
…but it was just a feeble “Damn you all!” and then silence as the CO2 knocked her out. Railroad security took her away and the Dopers settled back for adventures upcoming as the train approached Zurich, and would continue to Vienna and points east…