That says it all, really. I think we need one. It doesn’t necessarily have to be original, but that’d be fun too.
Right now, the pre-existing song that seems most appealing to me is The Seeker, by The Who. I’ve thought of two variations on the words. One would change the title to “The Doper;” the other would be “The Cecil.” 
What other suggestions can we come up with? Maybe some musically adept poster can actually make a song of it and put it on the web or something…