Being gay is a label people are putting on those people who are not straight in the sense that they exclusively have sex with women. I see that as a false assumption. As I told earlier, sex and emotions can easily be seperated from each other (more easily in the case of men I suppose).
When I’m eating a tomato, I’m not suddenly a vegetarian. When I’m eating only vegetables because nothing else is around, I’m no vegetarian either. Only when I consciously decide to never eat meat because the idea grosses me out, I can call myself such. And even then, I’m still a vegetarian when I have to eat meat to survive a romp through the desert and revert to my veggie eating habits when I come back.
Silly analogy, I know, but labeling people gay because they had some jack off experiences in their youth is just as silly.
We’re not labeling them because they had a jack-off experience (which is still KIND of gay) but because they had “full on sex” with guys. Straight guys don’t do that outside of prison. They don’t “experiment” that way.
Sexual orientaton is defined by sexual attraction. Feelings and emotions have nothing to do with it. Lots and lots of people have emotionless sex, including in the gay community. Is anonymous gay sex not gay because the guys don’t care about each other?
In my example, the full on sex happened while being high on E. I do not know if you ever had that experience, but in that state one would fuck a sheep if that was all that was available. I did it once with my friend, it never happened again. He never had sex with any other man, and, although not ashamed by what he did, he admitted that it would never happen again (at least never in a sober state).
There are many other situations conceivable where horniness overcomes conventional boundaries (i.e. prison, puberty), I do not see why these people should be labeled gay (not that there is anything wrong with that ;)) if they do not identify themselves as such. Sure, they had a homosexual encounter, but they’re not gay per se. Why is it so hard to distinguish them?
Ummm, I think I and a few others in this thread would beg to differ.
Here I would definitely agree with you, and is the heart of my point. I am not attracted to men. (Sheesh, I never thought I’d have to state myself so clearly to a bunch of people on this topic so many times short of warding off advances in a gay bar (yeah, like I’m attractive enough to get hit on)). I am attracted to women. Was then (note my comment about leafing through my dad’s Playboys - ah memories!), am now. I have never once been sexually attracted by men, nor was I sexually attracted to my friend back then. That’s why it’s called “experiementation” rather than a “relationship”.
A couple scenarios: One night a friend and I had a threesome with a woman after being out at the clubs. At one point he was getting blown by her and I was trying to fuck her, but because it was about 2:00 a.m. and we had been drinking for a while, I was having a hard time getting, well, hard. So I started jerking it to get hard enough to get inside, which I eventually did.
Another time, I was staying at my friend’s house in high school and he had a fairly astonishingly large collection of porn magazines. We talked late into the night while paging through some mags, he in his bed and me in a sleeping bag on the floor. At one point I rolled over to go to sleep and while drifting off heard the unmistakeable sound of a hand rubbing against the sheets. It lasted a few minutes, then suddenly stopped. We never discussed it.
Several times in college we’d convene in one guy’s room to watch a porno, and when it was over return to our own rooms. I suppose there were times when I was surreptitiously rubbing one out under the covers while my roommate did the same, each hoping the other would not notice, but I don’t know that for a fact and it was an unspoken forbidden subject of conversation.
I guess I could see this happening but I think most of the rest of experimentation stories are at least a little bi.
No. I think it makes you a little bi if you are sexually turned on by a woman which I would assume since you were hard enough for penetration. I can’t think of too many ways where getting hard with another man isn’t at least a little bi. I’m not saying that because your friend gave you head when you were 14 makes you gay but I think you’ve moved passed straight and into the gray area.
I would say I’m queer with some heterosexual experiences. That describes me much better than bi, as I would never see myself with a woman except for a drunken mistake (and to get her hot boyfriend in bed as a threesome). Same thing for most straights with some homosexual experiences in this thread. You do them better justice than labeling them gay (or even bi) with that description.
Nah. When I was a kid, it just was… weird. I was in situations that certainly could have resulted in it (watching or reading porn with a male friend), but it never happened.
Now, I guess it’s just a private activity that I’m not even interested in sharing with my wife, unless she’s helping…
The question is: While you were having sex with these women, were you focused on them or looking forward to being with their hot boyfriends? If the former, you’re bisexual. If the latter, you’re a gay man who has had sex with women.
I seem to be in a small minority of gay men who have never had sex with a woman. That doesn’t necessarily make me gayer than those who have.
I love women. I like to be around them and the only real friendships that I cultivate are women.
I dream about them and fantasize about them. If I see one that strikes my fancy I get serious urges. I will go to great lengths to develop relationships with women. I feel free and open and alive around them.
I do not really like guys, they make me want to fight usually. I can only stand them for short periods if time. To tell you the truth I don’t even know what to do around dudes.
I can however have discrete anonymous sexual encounters with males. I am not really into anal but I could be I suppose. No relationships no kissing. I guess I kinda like cock but hate guys. I can give or receive oral and play around. But I cant hang out with them. I never see a guy and think it would be great to fool around. I prefer some sort of Craigslist type encounter or an adult arcade andI must be extremely horny.
I could have a relationship with a transvestite.
I would always take the choice of a female first but males are easier to find for casual sex at 3am.
I consider myself a straight male that is not afraid of cock.
I would have no problem being gay/gayer I am just not.
If you “like cock,” then, by definition, you are at least bisexual.
If enjoying sex with others guys isn’t gay, then what the hell does the word mean? I think the capacity shown in this thread for denial is astonishing.
It’s a continuum. You can have some same-sex attractions or activities without being perfectly in the center of the Kinsey scale. I guess it makes strict identification a little slippery.
I think your definition is flawed, but who am I? Enjoying sex with guys isn’t gay, being attracted to men is. There is a difference, which can be hard to understand for the 100% hetero, but it’s there.
“Straight” guys are exclusively attracted to women and have only ever been interested in women. If a guy has ever been sexually attracted to another guy and/or had sexual contact with another guy (not being raped by them), then he’s in that wide variety of shades of bi between straight and gay even though he’s neither.
The misuse of the term “straight” in this thread is ludicrous, by the variety of clearly non-straight situations, sexual acts and sexual feelings by men for other men makes a mockery of the concept of bothering to define anything.
“Oh sure, we sucked each other’s penises, but I’m not gay or bi! I’m straight” Puhleez. Spare us the denial. Straight guys don’t “experiment” because it doesn’t even occur to us as an option, hell, a “straight” guy wouldn’t be able to get an erection to even try because he just simply wouldn’t be aroused.
Yes, there is a range of sexuality but on one side there is “straight” and the other is “gay”. Everything else is shades of gray in between.
Live it, own it. Don’t be ashamed of who you are and don’t try to own someone else’s identity because you cannot accept your own.
Your definition is flawed. 100% hetero = straight. 100% gay = gay. The shorthand for everything else in between is “bi”. Stop misusing the terms.
While I obviously can’t personally vouch for every single one of the tens of thousands of fraternity houses across the country, a couple of points:
-Circle jerks, elephant walks sex with farm animals, broomsticks up the ass and 90% of the bullshit you hear about fraternity hazing are urban legends told by the brothers to scare the crap out of the pledges. Most actual hazing consists of chores around the house, drinking excessively, stuff involving food (getting thrown at, eating, etc), pranks and stupid human tricks.
-Some of the hundreds of thousands of members of Greek organizations are, in fact, homosexuals. It’s not exactly broadcast to the world, but they exist and it’s pretty frequent.
So if you are pledging a fraternity and the guys are all doing the “Oookie Cookie” thing, you might want to rethink the gender of your date for the Christmas social.
Sorry. That’s pretty “gay” dude.
And the answer to the OP’s question is “Hell no”
I don’t know where you get your sex information, but it’s outdated.
People just love numbers that don’t require math. I’m 100% this, I’m 100% that! There are very few 100% anythings on the Kinsey scale, which I think you’re trying to reference.
People are free to self-report as straight, but people, men particularly in this instance, and men who react strongly emotionally to the suggestion they aren’t 100% straight are usually strongly homophobic and misandrous. The reason I include misandrous is because tests measuring men and women’s involuntary sexual responses to various images indicate that men who self-report as strongly straight will nevertheless respond positively to an image of two women having sex. So it isn’t homosexuality they fear so much as male homosexuality they fear.
The thing is though, you’re allowed to be homophobic or racist or afraid of amputees or cancer survivors or people with freckles or too fat or too skinny or whatever you want when it comes to sex. It’s your body, your mind. Live it. Own it.
Huh? How do you get either “fear” or homophobia from straight people simply not having same sex attractions. Guys who identify as strongly straight (and I’m one of them, never having had any same-sex attractions or interests at all) react positively to seeing women together because they’re attracted to women. The difference in reaction is no more complicated than the fact that naked women turn them on, and naked men don’t. It’s ridiculous to say that exclusively heterosexual orientations are ipso facto homophobic.
Are people with exclusively homosexual attractions afraid of straight people?
There actually are people who pin the needle at the extreme ends of the Kinsey scale. The continuum goes all the way to the termini.