No. I never even considered doing that.
No. I didn’t ever consider doing it. And a generation back, I don’t believe my father did so. Of course my mother’s father was already deceased, but he didn’t ask her aunt or uncle either I’m pretty sure.
Good lord, no, he didn’t. I would have been appalled if he would’ve wanted to.
Same here!
I’d only met her dad a few times before I proposed to her (and then called him up to ask him for her hand), so I didn’t yet have a handle on the fact that he’s every bit as much of a smartass as I am.
This response started to clue me in, though. 
No. My first husband and I still aren’t quite sure how we ended up married, to be honest. There wasn’t a proposal, we just…got married.
My second husband didn’t ask anyone (except me) for permission, but he did have a talk with my 17 year old son. It was halfway between an “ask for your blessing” and an “I’m not trying to replace your father” (which was mere courtesy, as his father’s never been in the picture) with a dash of, “you’ve been taking care of your mom a long time now, thank you, and now please take a deep breath and enjoy life a little, cause I’m here to help us all take care of each other now.”
So, permission, no. Father, no. But a man to man talk was had, one that didn’t offend my feminist sensibilities.
I didn’t. But both the guys who married my daughters did. They thought it was a cool thing to do. And it was pro forma. They knew I was going to say yes, and if I had said no for any weird reason I’m sure they would have gotten married anyway.
So it is 1895. 
Fuck no, I didn’t ask “permission” from her father. Her answer to my proposal was her own decision. She told me that he was irked by me not asking, although he’s never said anything to me directly. Some traditions deserve to die.
Yes I did. He did not know what to do, so he said “if its OK with her, its OK with me”.
Many years later, he told me that he had not even heard of the custom before I asked. He & I had always got along well. He was more worried that she would say no then I was. He was afraid that I would no longer come around, and he knew that he would miss me.
BTW, I never asked her, I asked the best man if he had a certain date free. My friend said “Yes, so that is the date then?” I told him “Yes”. My future wife asked him, “The date for what?” He told her, & I was in trouble already! 30+ years later, we are still happily married and he is still my best friend. Works for me!
Sure did. To both of us it just seemed right and sort of “sealed the deal” that we both meant it.
No he didn’t. And if he had’ve I would’ve been annoyed and seriously had second thoughts about marrying him. The only person’s permission he needed was mine, the only person who was free to give my hand is me, same for him. It’s not like it was some mystery guessing game either - anyone who knows me would know that I’d have problems with that.
I found out later that my dad did get his nose a little out of joint, but we talked and he’s ok with it now. He thought it was a sign of respect, whereas I thought that since we were going to get married no matter his thoughts on the matter, it would be respectful just to do so, rather than to pretend he had any input… I mean, there’s a pretty good chance he would’ve said no or wait - and then when we went ahead anyway, we’d be going against his expressed and solicited wishes, rather than just doing our own thing - I’d find that much less respectful!
Yes, I did, and made a point of doing it without my wife’s knowledge/assistance. It required an overnight trip to do so, and I engaged in some deception in order to avoid arousing any suspicion or concern over my overnight absence.
I had only met her father once before. He spoke no English, and I only spoke broken Japanese. I took it as showing him a sign of respect, and also a sign that I was serious about marrying his daughter. My wife later told me she was very pleased that I did that, and that I didn’t ask her to arrange a meeting with him or ask her to go with me. He was pleased as well, and we still have a close relationship today even though we are on different continents and his daughter/my wife has been dead for more than ten years now.
Know your audience, I guess.
No my husband did not ask either of my parents for my hand in marriage. If he had been the kind of person who would do that, I would not have wanted to marry him in the first place.
Also, my parents hated his guts so they would have said no.
We were both 17 at the time when I asked her to marry me. She said I’d have to ask her daddy. I spoke to her brother first and he said no getting around it I’d have to speak to Bert, so I did. HSe was the youngest of 5 girls and 4 brothers, daddy laughed and made a joke about finally being free of daughters. This was in 1964.
I asked him to marry me, so no. And Dad, who is on his third wife, is about the last person I’d go to for marriage advice anyway. Which made it even funnier when he gave a long, heartfelt, and totally unironic toast at our wedding, full of advice on how to have a long and happy marriage. (And no, he wasn’t drunk at the time.) I wasn’t looking at Mom, who was wife #1, at the time, but I could see her eyes rolling anyway.
My wife and I got engaged in April of '98, the day before Passover. I did not ask for permission, but when we showed up at her parent’s house (we already lived together), it’s a little off-putting to tell someone you are marrying his 22 year old daughter while he is holding a large chef’s knife in his hand as he prepared food for the Seder.
Fifty years ago, it was expected. My wife asked me to ask not only her father but also her stepfather since her mother was going to make the wedding. But this was after I had proposed and been accepted so it was just pro forma. We were 26 and 27 and parents were not going to stop us.
More surprisingly, my sons who got married in 1992 and 1996 asked their fathers-in-law. I assume after proposing and being accepted. The FIL of the younger one was astonished though my son had been hanging around for several years and they had lived together for a year. My daughter, age 38 in 2004 did not have her fiance ask me and they made their wedding with no input from us. But they had been living together for a while and we liked him a lot.
I got married in 2008. My husband asked for my father’s blessing, not his permission. My dad and I were really close and he was kind of an old-fashioned guy.
I thought it was a sweet gesture and was not offended in the slightest.
As wellanuff said, it’s all about knowing your audience.
You know, in 1992 I was 20 years old, and I didn’t know what people did other than ask the person who I was screwing’s father if I could marry her. So I did. Somewhat predictably, marriage did not ensue.
Her father was all for it but I certainly never asked for his permission.
I haven’t done it and wouldn’t, it is anathema to me, but loads of my friends have done it.