Come on in and rest a bit have a cup of coffee and say what’s on your mind. Gossip is ok but no mean stuff please.
How come we never see Cecil, the boss of this company? You’d think he would need a cup of coffee once in a while. You suppose he doesn’t come in here with us peons cause we may ask for a raise or something? I think that fuzzy green thing in the fridge is his however cause ain’t nobody touched it in months.
Say…how about that little new honey over in accounting. She is one hot hottie ain’t she? If that skirt she wears gets any tighter I may just have to give her a day in court…
ssst… By the way I heard that Satan is studying christian fundamentalism and is contemplating moving to Kansas to preach revivals.
Speaking of religion you know that Oral Roberts has put out a 45 record. Problem is no one can play it cause the hole keeps healing up…hahahha ho ho…
(pouring a cup and leaning back in my chair)
sigh
Yeah I wouldn’t mind being more than just a best friend to Ultress but she has way too much class for me. My wife did say however, that she would rather share me with another woman than lose me altogether. nyuck nyuck…
By the way where the hell is Shayna?
You know I really like Handy but he is kinda strange ain’t he? I mean you know his posts are usually informative but sometimes I worry about him.
Shit, the little woman packed peanut butter sandwiches in my lunch again today. How the hell am I suppose to eat PB and Jelly everyday… damn …
I have it on good authority that Shayna is alive and kicking. She’s got family over this weekend, and is generally rather busy at work. That’s why she’s a bit quiter than normal.
If by coffee, you mean that well boiled reduction of tar paper and mud. It was your’s truly. The bathroom’s out of mountain money and I was trying to spare someone the indignity of asking for change for a five while still in the stall.
How come you guys are complaining about the coffee? There’s beer in this fridge…I don’t care if it’s supposed to be for Friday afternoon, I want some now.
Think that’s real beer in the fridge? HA! It’s O’Douls, for the techs. Ed sneaks down here at night and plants it.
All those hours in “research”? No way, he’s scraping the labels off near-beer and gluing bad photocopies from good brand labels onto the bottles. The system glitches and Ed tosses some bottles into The Room, then slams and locks the door before the techs figure out they’ve been snookered.
The poor SOB’s have to fix the sucker to escape and get at the good stuff…which is tucked away in the bottom 2 drawers of Ed’s desk.
Oh mother o’ pearl, they’re having a Mod Meeting. They’re cranky enough away, without paying their own travel and lodging at The SouthSide Casa da Cucaracha. Lynn has her whip out; I don’t like that glitter in David B.'s eye…but who’d a guessed Euty looked like that in black latex?
What’s wrong with having a Confederate replace the toner? Besides, it’s not the toner that’s the problem. Actually, the hottie down in accounting dropped her birth control pills into the copier, and now the thing won’t reproduce at all!
>> My wife did say however, that she would rather share me with another woman than lose me altogether
I once heard this story: At a workplace there was this mean woman who was bitchy about everything including her unhappy marriage, and she loved to go around giving people bad news and being bitchy. Anyway, one day she told a woman who was happily married that her husband may be cheating on her, to which the other woman replied “I’d much rather share a sweet than have a piece of shit all to myself”.
Did you see that new woman in the IS Department? Didn’t she notice everybody else walking around in Dockers and Polo shirts? She comes in with a three piece business suit, making the rest of us look unprofessional. Next thing you know, the boss is going to make us wear ties!
Well my little buddy I’m sure there is more than enough of you to go around.
Did you check out the new guy over in engineering? He looks like Moe of the three stooges. Be interesting to see if he’s got that much intelligence.
Word is out that we won’t be having a Christmas Party this year. After the table dance that Diane did last year they were talking about banning alcohol at the party. But who could look at these people sober after 5 p.m.? So no party.
I’d be real careful about making the mods angry. Word is they gonna make the guys stop visiting the porn sites on their computers during work time. Wonder what these guys will do then?
Oh MY GOD! You are not going to believe what I overheard while rummaging through the stock room for the toner…
That new chick you are all talking about was attempting a little oral persuasion with what’s his name in marketing!!!
Now I heard that he is more… ummm… interested in MR. president… if you know what I mean!
Gawd you people are such **SLOBS!*Look at this place! - You’re mother doesn’t work here ya know! Try to show some resp What? Your mother DOES work here? Oh. Ok then, um, carry on.
Where the HELL is the sugar? Who made this coffee? It tastes like someone washed their dirty socks in it. It’s WAY too weak. Is that decaf? What’s the deal with that? I need my caffeine ya know…
Why the HELL hasn’t someone fixed that damned copier?
Who’s job is that anyways? Oh. It’s my job you say. I’ll call a repairman later if I think about it.
