::enters munching on garlic toast::
::Looks around at everybody staring at him::
Hey, I figure if I have garlic toast for breakfast then nothing worse can happen to me all day.
sneaks in, holding some papers protectively to her chest, shuts the door behind her
whispering
Okay, here’s the thing. I went to make some copies this morning–the machine hadn’t been turned on yet, which is normal, but when I opened it to make the copy–I found THIS.
DO NOT ask me who it is. I have no idea. That’s why I brought it in here. I need some coffee.
Rachelle, can I have a drag off that? This is WILD.
sets papers on table in front of aha and stands back
Anybody…uh, recognize that?
Here ya go struuter. ::hands her the cigarette and takes the copies from her::
Wow. Now that’s what I call a pussy.
::everybody stops what they’re doing and stares at Rachelle::
What. Look at this! ::turns paper around for everyone to see revealing a photocopy of someone’s cat:: Oh my God!! Look at this one. The pussy picture must’ve been a cover sheet of some sort so no one would see the other pictures behind it. Ewwww! This is disgusting. Why would someone make copies of this? Here, someone else take them. I can’t look anymore.
takes a long drag, eyes closed Ahhhh. Thank you, beautiful, beautiful lady.
Hey, I only looked at the first page. I figured there were more…but…glances at copies…holy shnikeys! How’d they do THAT? Cripes! That’s just wrong. Sick and wrong.
I think I need to sit down.
Almost missed my break. I was busy training this new chick in accounting I just hired. She seemed sorta flirty during the interview but I might be mistaken. She sure can work the ledger though.
Also, I was pretty famished earlier so I sorta rooted through all of the lunches in the fridge to see what looked good. Whoever’s sandwich, chips, and Coke I stole…I apologize. And to whoever had the brownies, next time leave out the pecans. I don’t care for nuts.
You bastid.
I’m thinking about going upstairs to the top floor and seeing if I can get in to see Cecil. Anyone wanna go?
Euty enters (in black leather pants)… tacks sign on the wall which reads …
"Please do not throw butts in the urinal."
… and leaves.
Sure, aha. I’ll go up with you, pretend I’m lost (not difficult for me), and while I’m distracting the guards, you make a run for it.
Tell Cecil I need a raise.
I caught a glimpse of this folks and let me tell you it wasn’t pretty.
Euty stick his head back in … says “Watch it, Spudboy” … leaves.
::Stomps over to the copy machine and nails a sign above it::
Achtung alles lookenpeepers! Das instrumenten is nicht fur gerfingerpokin und hittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springerwerk und blowen fusen mit spitzen sparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dumbkopfs. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in der pockets, relax und vatch der blinken lights!
Now that you mention Cecil, where is he? I thought he answered the questions, but he doesn’t seem to answer any at all.
Thank you, thank you 
You are hereby my new comedy hero! That was -excusez le mot- fucking priceless 
Good question newbie saam. We have only lured him out once and it was but a flash in the pan.
::deb2world pocks head in::
I’m new here. Could anyone tell me where the bathroom is? The WOMENS room not the mens like last time.
Are those donuts for anyone to take? Is that coffee free or do you have to pay? Why aren’t you using Starbucks ™ instead of that cheap stuff. Who should I kiss up to to get a promotion?
Hey, there, could one of you help me with this?
:::Persephone wheels in an IV full of coffee:::
I seem to be having trouble hitting a vein. Nearly severed an artery when Euty oh-so-casually strolled by in those damn leather pants of his. He’s trying to kill me. I know he is.
That’d be me.
vix sneaks in looking nervous, mumbles something about chocolate, snags a Snickers and sneaks back out