I can make women suddenly remember important appointments that they had forgotten.
By getting behind the wheel of my pickup truck, I cause other cars to commit ritual seppuku against my rear bumper.
I got two last year. Both while stopped at a traffic light. Both ended up with totalled cars, while I drove home with only cosmetic bumper damage. My lifetime total of cars-hurling-themselves-onto-my-truck-bumper is four. I was stationary in all of the accidents (not sudden stops, I’d been stopped for minutes or even longer each time).
I can teleport my keys from my pants pocket to the kitchen counter by pulling the locked front door closed behind me as I step outside.
I can draw vomit out of my cats, and direct it onto carpeting. It doesn’t matter where the cats are, if they need to vomit, I cause them to run to the nearest carpeted floor. They never do in on wood, linoleum or tiled floor that are easy to clean. I can also occasionally cause one of them to stand in the litter box and pee over the edge, onto the floor. My powers are amazing.
We know. 
The local amateur astronomer’s club can cause the weather to change from bright, clear skies to clouds and rain merely by announcing their periodic “star parties”. NOAA is baffled by this, and several local weather forecasters have had to be treated for chronic depression. The president of the club has been approached for help by the governors of several drought-ridden states.
This is me with the Colts.
I used to be able to make it rain just by watering my flower boxes. Not just a drizzle, but pouring buckets several hours after I would water my plants.
I seem to have inverted that ability this year. I water my plants, and then I see storms coming on the radar. The storms fizzle out just west of here and then re-form off to the east. It’s happening again today. I guess I need to stop watering my plants because we could use some rain. 
I have the ability to stall an actor’s career simply by becoming a fan. Ever since the dawn of the interwebs, all it takes is for me to look up an able, promising performer at the IMDb or to post an appreciation of his talent on a fansite and -voila!- immediately his next tv show/movie bombs and his career hits the skids.
I cannot get a fish to take my bait.
I dont know what it is but some people just seem to have a fish gene because 2 people can be fishing in the exact spot with same baits and all and one can catch fish while the other doesnt.
I just cant fish.
We have undue influence over the placement of noisy people.
Just by moving in to, say, 10 Elm Street, we cause a family of shrieking late-night partiers to move into 12 Elm Street.
By reserving seats 12C and 12D on a plane, it’s a certainty that seats 13C and 13D will be occupied by loud, motormouthed, seat-kicking kids.
If we sit in a distant corner of a restaurant, inevitably the tables nearest us will soon be pushed together, and a kids’ birthday party will assemble there.
I can close a good restaurant merely by going there once and giving it a good review on Yelp. I’m trying to figure out a way to make money from this.
I have this magic ability to control traffic lights to my disadvantage. If I’m late, I make them turn red. If I want to take advantage of the red light to get something out of my purse in the back seat, I make them turn green.
-I can make any person driving in front of me go ten under the posted limit on one particular stretch of road.
-I can guarantee that any meeting I’m a mandatory participant in (of?) is completely pointless.
-I can summon, as if by telepathic link, my wife to the kitchen. It is an amazing power, and works without fail. All I have to do is start to cook something and POOF, that very minute she NEEDS, WITH A RUTHLESS TENACITY, to complete some task only accomplished by standing in the exact spot I am standing. Never mind the fact that she has not and will not enter the kitchen at any other point that day. She needs to be there right now, where I am standing, so please move.
-Secondary to the above, since we’re now both in the kitchen, I can also will my wife to turn off the faucet if I have left it on because I’m going to need to use it again in five seconds.
-My supervillain power is that I’ve given my wife a ceaseless drive to turn things on, especially every light in any room she passes through, while taking away her ability to turn anything off. Muaha, muaha, muahahahaha!
I have the strange ability to travel at the speed of light. I must, because everything around me slows considerably - lines, traffic, waiters. Call me Captain Time Dilation.
Please make a firm mental note to never, ever think of me after today.
I make the printer jam when I’m heading to a meeting and need this one single reference document.
I can summon mighty, unexpected storms by having my car washed and waxed.
I have the power to put any restaurant I like out of business. Dear little family falafel restaurant on the corner: I love your food, I love the atmosphere, and I’m so sorry my patronage means you’ll be out of business in about six weeks.
Forgot to list my super-ist power!
I have the magical power to summon people to come sit in my office; I may have been working alone for hours, but this special power magically summons all and any to flock to my space and make themselves comfortable.
Yup: the moment I release an especially lethal SBD fart in my lone paradise, there’s a stampede to my office.
I can cause catastrophic fires by reading a book.
The first time I read it (back when I was a teen) my neighbor’s house across the street burned down, and she died. 
(she was an elderly lady, drank more than she should have, and lit up a cigarette in bed).
The second time I read it, a huge fire started on the ridge near my house. It burned down several houses (none near mine, but still) and for a brief time there was danger that we’d have to evacuate.
The book is Anne McCaffrey’s Dragonflight, and I’m terrified to read it again. :eek:
Oh–I can also psychically summon cats to come and sit on me the instant I realize I need to use the bathroom, even if they’ve been nowhere near me for an hour.
I remember a guy posting something along the lines of the following on a stock market message board (relating to a stock which had been tanking):
At work I can make the phone ring at will. All I have to do is walk away from my desk.