Oh, that reminds me–I can do that too, by going to use the bathroom.
I can also summon UPS and Fed-Ex drivers to my door the same way. Doesn’t matter how long I’ve waited for a package scheduled to be delivered that day–thirty seconds in the can and they slink up like ninjas to leave their little “we tried to deliver it, but nobody was home!” slip.
I have an uncanny ability to instantly succeed at anything my wife has spent a long time failing at. Clearing a mobile game level she’s been stuck on forever, making the food processor bowl lock onto the base (and taking it back off), getting the lid snapped onto a container, getting the outdoor electricity to turn on, starting the weed whacker, etc.
This doesn’t annoy her at all. 
I drive a magnetic car. I can park it at the farthest end of a desolate parking lot, and when I finish shopping, another car will be right next to it.
I can control the weather. By the mere act of boarding a plane in January bound for a tropical locale, I can cause a dramatic temperature increase in my own usually snowy state. I can also reverse it back to wintery weather by returning home.
I told my psychiatrist that I’ve been hearing voices and he told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist.
Should I pay him anyway?
My payday seems to make family members and acquitances indigent.
I draw people to stores and also getting in the checkout lane makes people at home remember things they need.
Any place I travel too will immediately have unseasonbly cold weather.
I missed this one, my car does this too. Freaking uncanny.
I get acne if I need a picture taken.
I can make bad weather occur if I plan to go someplace special.
I can make any bus, train, or taxi appear out of nowhere just by lighting a cigarette.
I can delay the arrival of a piece of mail just by checking the box every day. It might be in there until I open the lid.
Don’t tell the Feds; tampering with the mail is a serious offense.
Oh, I can make the person in charge of the self-checkout lines vanish into thin air, without even a puff of smoke to show where she was. All I have to do is show up with one of the following in my cart:
Rubber cement
epoxy (like modeling glue, or Superglue)
cough medicine
Wite-out
an R-rated video
or
Alcohol.
You have to be 18 to buy the top list (some cleaning fluids, too), 21 to buy the last thing.
The moral? Never play chess-by-mail with a Schrodinger.
I can prevent it from raining just by carrying an umbrella. But I can cause it to rain in the afternoon by watering my vegetable garden in the morning. And I expect that I will cause it to be cloudy in South Carolina on Aug. 21, 2017 by heading there to watch the eclipse.
Took me a minute, then I cracked up.
People have seizures around me.
After the first couple of times, I asked a doctor friend how to respond and he gave me instructions. So the next three times when it happened, I was ready.
The last time a woman walking down the aisle on an airplane when she had a seizure right next to me. I caught her on the way down as she went into a grand mal then started barking out to people to get the flight attendant while I kept her from hurting herself. I didn’t save a life but I certainly prevented her from injuring herself.
This mystic power has petered out after I entered old age; now my mystic power is that I can be invisible when I’m shopping for clothes.
(Correction, there were 6 times. One was a petit mal so I didn’t have to do anything.)
More often than not, if I’m not paying attention, I will hit the right key on a piano when I’m trying to figure out a song. But only if I don’t think at all about it.
Almost forgot one of my most potent superpowers of all is my special ‘pick the wrong check out lines’ ability. If there are five registers open and four of them have six people in line they will invariably move more quickly than the line with only one person in it that I choose.
No matter which line I get in the person in front of me will either want to debate the fine print on a coupon, or pick an item with no price code sticker, or realize they selected a broken/opened item, or some other delay that necessitates waiting for a manager, price check, or some similar delay. It’s quite a gift
I can cause a lengthy red signal to change to green, and also make stopped freeway traffic start moving again. All I need do is reach for a little bottle of hand lotion that I keep in the car and apply a bit to my cuticles while waiting, and when my hands are all goopy and I can’t touch the steering wheel, traffic will magically start to move.
I can become invisible. I am constantly being told “I didn’t see you there.” People don’t see me behind my cash register at work, people push ahead of me and bump into me because they don’t see me."
A friend once told me this was not possible. Then she failed to see me when I was standing twenty feet away from here. When I said “I’m here” the new age whoo hoo in her replied “How do you do that? Your aura just disappeared.”
Don’t ask me how I do it.
I can make my grocery store open up a checkout line for me. If there is more than two people in line ahead of me they will immediately open up a new line for me. I don’t see that happen with other people that are already standing in line. Maybe I look disgruntled, that is my power.