Strange and Inappropriate Conversations

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Anyone else ever had one of these? I was at the funeral of a very close family friend on Monday, and as is the case with these things, practically everybody from our community (in the area) was there, including my dad’s sister (no, I will not give her the honorific of aunt, she doesn’t deserve it, but that’s a different story). Anyway, after the funeral, at the wake, she decided that she was going to talk to me. Well, actually, interrogate me as to find out when I’m getting married of all things. The conversation went something like this:

Her: "So, Angua, when are you planning on getting married?
Me: “I’m not. I have a career, and I’m still building it, so not for a long time yet”
Her: “But you’ve got to get married soon.”
Me: “No, I don’t. In fact I don’t intend to get married anytime soon.”
Her: “But what about kids? You’ve got to have kids before you get too old.”
Me: “Er, no I don’t. I don’t have to have kids ever, if I don’t want to.”
Her: “But, surely, you’re looking for somebody?”
Me: “No, not really.”

And at this point, I walked away before she could say anything else. I was shocked that at a time like this, she would start hassling me about my plans for marriage. Strange strange woman.

Although, in retrospect, it is rather hillarious, as she now probably thinks that either I’m a lesbian, or that I’m just so ill-natured and career driven that no one’ll have me. Actually, she’ll probably think the latter, and start spreading rumours about just how unattractive I must be. Woo!! I’ve just given that woman a whole load of new things to get het up about and try winding my parents up with. I’m going to love seeing my parents’ reaction if she tries to tell them her “suspicions” about me! :smiley:

Yes, I do enjoy winding her up. :cool:

2

On the bright side, if your family is at all analogous to mine, if you stay single long wnough they might stop pestering you to hold out for a nice Indian boy.

Bah, humbug. Don’t pay them any mind. :wink:

3

Oh, I’ve been getting that for a while from one relative at family gatherings.

The last couple of years it’s become much more amusing, as this relative has decided that I simply must procreate, whether I’m married or not. The conversations go something like:

relative:You know,you’re 30. You should have kids soon.
me: But I don’t want to have kids.
r: It doesn’t matter that you’re not married. There are some good fertility clinics around. You can buy some sperm and be inseminated.
m: But I don’t want to have kids.
r: Oh, you’ll change your mind and then you’ll regret not having them now. And if you go ahead and have them now with donor sperm, then it won’t be like you slept with someone besides your husband.
m: I’ve already had sex and if I was going to go get knocked up just to have a kid, I’d much rather have sex to get that way. But since I don’t want to have kids, I generally take precautions so that doesn’t happen.
r: AHA! But those precautions don’t always work!"
m: If they were to not work, that doesn’t mean that I would necessarily have the child and if I did, that doesn’t mean that I would keep the child.

She finally was silent at that. I expect to have the same conversation next time I see her.

4

Oh good. Most of the nice Indian boys I know are boring. :smiley: Hey, my parents’ don’t care. Its interfering relatives who need to be told to get a life.

I don’t. Its much easier that way. :wink:

I’m just wondering how long it’ll take her to spread rumours. :smiley:

5

One of my aunts used to be on my case all the time about getting married. Whenever she saw me, she wanted to know if I was dating and if it was serious and all that. So after I got married (I’d eloped so the family hadn’t met him) I saw her again at a family party.

The look of disapproval when she met my husband was unmistakable! :eek: I have no idea why - maybe she didn’t like beards…

Oh well, she never nagged me again about getting married.

6

This just drives me batty. My parents, too, were desperate for me to get married. And then they hated my boyfriend on sight because he’s Chinese! We’ve been together seven years and my mother still won’t acknowledge him. Why didn’t you just come and say you didn’t want me to get married except to the exact guy you chose?

My friend is Jewish. Didn’t get married until he was in his 40’s. His mother had been nagging him all his life to get married. He got married to someone of a non-Jewish faith - and she decides not to come to the wedding! Come on, shouldn’t you be happy he’s finally in love and getting married to someone? Jeez.

7

What, and you think she should make any good grandbabies with my only son, the flesh of my flesh, without she’s Jewish? Oy, they’ll probably come out looking all goyish. I think I’m gonna plotz.

Seriously, though. Reminds me of the joke where the two rabbis are complaining that each of their sons has gone and joined a different faith, so they go to the synagogue to tell God their troubles, and a booming voice from heaven hollers down, “Don’t even get me started!”

8

Or bring home a nice Sicilian boy and his dog.

9

Can’t remember where I read this but:

10

And puppy makes four. :wink:

Or you could do what I once did to my grandmother: after a long discussion about why I’m still single, I finally asked her, “So, Grandmom, which would make you more upset: if I told you I was marrying a Palestinian, or if I told you I was marrying a woman?” Luckily, Grandmom has a sense of humor: she just laughed and said, “What the hell kind of question is that?”

11

:smiley: I think that would make my dad’s sister simply drop dead.
Hmmm… I sense a cunning plan. :smiley:

The point is, my parents don’t care who I’m seeing, if I’m seeing anyone, and whether I’m planning to settle down at any point. Its everyone else, and its none of their damned business to ask. Especially not at the funeral of someone who was rather close to me.

12

Well, I should clarify that a) my grandmother and I were not at a funeral at the time, and b) as the proud owner of a leather miniskirt and two pairs of leather pants, my grandmother is not exactly your typical 80-something-year-old Jewish grandma, no matter what they tell you about those liberal Palm Beach County Jews. (Although she doesn’t wear the miniskirt much since the knee replacement; she’s kind of self-conscious about the scars.)

I do encourage you, though, to continue testing boundaries. It’s the only way society will ever change.

13

I get the opposite from you lot. My mum occasionally reminds me "not to do anything stupid. You’re too young)

(Translation - Do not get pregnant/engaged)

14

Heh. I get the “don’t do anything silly” talk from my mother too. Which, in my mother’s books would be don’t date anyone, don’t fall in love with anyone, and don’t let anyone think that you’re ‘available’.

Hey, I have a wierd and messed up family. Why do you think I ignore them all when it comes to things like this?

15

People keep asking me if Tom and I are going to have kids. I just say “No, but we’ll probably keep trying.”

16

I get this all the time. I love my (12) aunts and (13) uncles dearly, but…

17

In my case, my parents stopped pestering me about marrying anyone once my second nephew arrived (more than one grandchild, yeah! :D). I think my mom would still like to see me married off, though, if only to dispel the notion that I must be a lesbian, especially given my profession. BTW, that reminds me of my father’s first comment, when I told my parents I was going back to school for geology: “Geology… isn’t that a man’s field?” Gee thanks, Dad. :stuck_out_tongue:

Anyway, as for truly inappropriate conversations - at my grandfather’s wake, one of my older relatives began a stream of sexual innuendo-laden comments to me at the first opportunity he had to speak to me alone. It wasn’t the first time that had happened with this jerk (first time I was 12! in bed with the measles!), but it was most certainly was the last. I was so infuriated that I threatened to punch him square in the face in full view of everyone, and let everyone know exactly why I was doing it. He immediately did an about-face and walked away. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since (nearly 13 years now), and I won’t be sorry if I never see him again.

18

lol.

My mum is a bit wierd when it comes to dateing. When I was single she told me
“I don’t think you should be getting into serious relationships at your age.”

But I’ve now been with my boyfriend for almost a year and now she tells me
“I’m so proud of you! Going to university, and being in a long term relationship.”

19

Well, Qadgop always said I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 30, so I presume marriage would be out until at least age 32 or so. Can’t be hasty. My eventual husband and I will hopefully be allowed to sleep in the same bed by age 35, and make our first explorations of the wicked, sinful world of sex a year or two after that. I’m hoping that procreation will be allowed before I hit menopause, but just in case, I do have some houseplants that I can name after him and mom, unless they’d prefer I reserve close family names for goldfish.

Yes, I’m the oldest, why? :frowning:

20

Why? Will you turn into a pumpkin if you don’t get married “soon”?
:stuck_out_tongue: