For me, it’s always, “So, when are you going to have kids?”
In my husband’s family, it’s traditional that a woman’s place is in the kitchen and the bedroom. In other words, a woman’s job is to procreate as many times as humanly possible (and no, they’re not Catholic).
One evening we were at my in-laws’ for dinner and the subject of my husband and I having kids came up. We said that we weren’t sure we want to have kids (we’re only 26!). My mother-in-law replied, "But, you have to have children ! Like that’s our purpose in life. Aargh!
I’ve begun telling people that every time they ask me when I’m going to have kids, it’s another year I’m going to wait. Most people have stopped.
When I was in high school, we were discussing my new boyfriend at a family gathering. My great-uncle commented, “He’s not black, is he?” Double aargh!
Me too. My little sister was always far ahead of me in the boy trouble department, both in absolute and relative terms. But then she never paid any attention to discipline anyway. I think she was switched at birth.
Mom_Crayons got pissed off,and I mean really pissed off a tthe ignorance of someone who ran into her at a funeral and asked “Oh, is Eats married yet?”
Mom_Crayons answered: “No, Eats is not.”
Idiot: “Oh… don’t you want grandchildren?”
Mom_Crayons was perplexed and said: “Um, I don’t think that’s my decision to make… Eats makes her own choices and I support the decisions that she makes for herself.” (Mom_Crayons can be a very reasonable person.)
It wasn’t until she recovered form her shock that she turned into Mad Mommy_Crayons: “What an idiot! Firstly, why the hell does she think that you have to be married to have kids? Secondly, my wishes should not be the ones that you base a huge decision on like bearing children. Yeah, right. I want a grandkid, Eats, run along now and get knocked up! What a bafoon!”
Well, shit! That is a fair percentage of the converstaions i have with my coworkers, why i’m not pregnant nor married. Why i am not out looking for some guy to impregnate me. I mean I wiil be 26 in april, my uterus might shrivel up and fall out of my body! WTF!
January:
So several Sunday nights ago my tax information was rudely questioned and I got the usual you-gotta-get-a-baby treatment, from my supervisor, who then laughed at me.
I yelled at her, "I am NOT going to HAVE a BABY just FOR the tax REfund. It was probably more of a yelp that a real yell. I want better than that, and i don’t see what’s so very difficult about that.
She said i should have a baby just to get the big tax refund, never mind that i don’t have a car yet. I don’t have my own flat. But I “gotta” get a baby. Since i have a uterus y’know.
Never mind that we are talking about my life and that of another person’s life, of whom i do not have th’right to fuck up, and whether or i not i still want children. My supervisor is a 33 year old black girl, with three children of her own. She has given me more shit about this that anyone i have ever met. EVER. I don’t know if it’s 'cos she is black,but she ranks up ther with the assholes. I can take being a singleton but i have had enough of her.
December:
Fifi also has a fascination with relationships. She thinks I can help her get married. She asked me when was i going to get married; why didn’t i know why i wasn’t married yet; why don’t i know whether or nor i want children; what boyfriends did i have in HS; when did i think i was gonna get married.
I lost my temper and shouted at her. For fuck’s sake! If i knew any of these things, i would not be working midnights as a CNA! I’d be on Oprah, giving advice and selling books. I can’t be any worse than Dr.Phil, right? Phil reminds me of nothing so much as a taller, Texan, George Costanza!
I can think of a hundred things to talk about, that don’t involve kids, and marrriage. I love to discuss politics! We can talk about what’s on the telly; books one has read; where i’d take my dream vacations; what movies are worth seeing; current events. But do they ask me these things? Do they dare discuss thing other than marriage? Do they?
DO THEY?!Do THEY?! Do THEY FUCK NOT!!! WHY would i want to have a conversation like that. I swear to all the gods, that i’ve had teh SAME conversation 400 times since i moved to Florida!
Then she goes off into a blither how her cousin had 15 bridesmaids; and 3 flower girls; and what colours the dresses were; and how many bridesmaids she wanted in her wedding; and what they should wear; and how much for her dress.
How many bridesmaids did my other coworker have in her wedding, blah blah bleah flowers, gibbity gabbity tuxedoes, yackety yack cakes, swoon dribblle drool party favours.
How can i get the smug married treatment from someone who is not, herself married? How can it be that I can count on one hand the people who have not hassled me about this, this year? You know, it’s not so much marriage, but this went on for 3 hours. And I am not allowed to go to the breakroom. And it really bothers people how ambivalent I am about having children. Just because I own a uterus, i must IMMEDIATELY utilize it.
Seems to me that that usually works the other way around.
I’m out of my gourd, though.
Hehe 
Yup, if I’m not married by 30, then I shall turn into a pumpkin, my uterus will shrivel up, and no man will ever want me. 
Or, so my dad’s sister would have me believe.
That’s good mumspeak for you
“Hello, my lovely daughter/son; I think you are fantastic and I’m proud of just exactly what it is you are doing now and think you are doing a great job”
I’ve never had the “When are you getting married” talk from my family.
When I was a teenager, one of my nun aunties (I had two) made every family celebration all the more hilarious by targetting one of the female cousins and launching her patented "Have you ever thought of becoming a nun? " talk.
We used to take bets on whose turn it would be at each event.
Whenever the other nun aunt was there she’d cart off the first nun aunt and tell her to get a grip and leave us all alone.
Guess which nun aunt we all loved and which one we avoided like the plague?
And, just for the record; no, I have no nun cousins.
Nun, in fact.
Perhaps you should show her those photos. You know the ones I mean.
(My mother occasionally drops pointed hints about wanting grandchildren. But only occasionally, thank God … I don’t think it’s going to happen. If I started a family now [difficult, without a similarly-inclined female], I’d be approaching retirement age just as the kids were approaching going-to-Uni-and-needing-to-get-bailed-out-of-jail age … doesn’t sound like my idea of fun.)
What, this one?, or maybe you mean this one? 
I will point out that pictures of Heliose and myself were taken under the influence of shed-loads of alcohol. And with the full approval of Coldfire, I think.
Hmmm… I’m so going to get wound up by someone…
When I was seventeen and just finished high school, I was talking to a colleague of my mother, at an art gallery opening (to set the scene for how little this had to do with my private life.) I happened to mention that I was taking a year off to get my head straight before uni.
She proceeded to admonish me that I couldn’t afford to take any time off because when I went to uni I’d be too old for all the boys and I wouldn’t be able to find a good husband because none of them want to be with an older woman.
Let’s get this straight: Taking a year off meant I would start university at age 18. At which point I would be too old for the marriage market? 
Not to mention the rather odd assumption that the sole reason I would be off to uni was to snag a man anyway.
I did end up married rather young So I guess she was wrong about that year off. But it wasn’t to a guy I met on campus!
And then of course there is my mom - “Honey, if you aren’t married by 30, have you considered adoption?” God only knows where this came from - my mom usually doesn’t push on these kinds of things. I just turned 30 though - so apparently, I’ve missed the deadline.
Susan
1988
Just out of college. Meeting the family for Sunday brunch at resturant. We sit down and my youngest sister (11yrs younger than me) pipes up, “So when do I get to be an aunt?” My reply, “You need to be a sister-in-law first.”
2000
She has been a s-i-l twice over for at least 4yrs–finally becomes an aunt.
Has completely forgotten that Sunday in 1988.
My mother would have preferred that I not start dating til I hit the age of 42 . . . I’m in a happy long-term (or so it appears to be becoming, anyways 
) relationship now, but if I presented her with grand-children at this point she’d probably have some kind of seizure.
Of course, I’m only 21, so I have no plans to do so, but she’s in her early fifties . . . isn’t there some kind of nurturing imperative that should be kicking in now?
You wouldn’t know a cunning plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked atop a harpsichord singing “Cunning Plans Are Here Again.”
Try being 40, male, single, and straight. Despite having had several live in GFs, the fact that I’ve never been married causes all sorts of discussion among non-close relatives and casual acquaintances. The ones that don’t actually think I’m gay knock themselves silly trying to figure out what’s “wrong.” :rolleyes:
Cunning plans are here again, the skies above are clear again…
Well after three long term relationships, I’ve come to the conclusion that I really like and enjoy being on my own. All my friends and family keep trying to fix me up with someone or other, commenting “you don’t want to end up a lonely old woman do you”.
Why does everyone assume I need a partner?
Ah HA!
More evidence that Coldy has been two-timing Heloise with Heliose.
Hmmph. I get, “How can you be married? You’re too young!!!” all the time. I’m 25. I was 24 when I got married. It’s not, you know, that young. I dunno. You’d think I were a 16-year-old who defiantly married her punk-rocker-druggie boyfriend in spite of all the odds against teen marriages.
I wonder what the acceptable age for marrying is? 26? Has to be before 30, according to relatives, right?
You know, since I crossed the threshold of thirty, my family’s pretty much dropped the whole, “When are you going to get married?” business. Good thing too, since 99% of the time I was the dumpee not the dumper when the relationship ended, so it’s not exactly like I’ve been saying, “You know, I’ve been seeing this gal too long, time to get rid of her.”
Now, if I could just get some of my friends and cow-irkers to stop with the whole business. What’s really infuriating is that they keep suggesting I ask out this “hot young” 18 year old that just started working there. She’s the company Paris Hilton if you will. Not bad looking, but, um, there’s just not a whole lot (if anything) going on upstairs. I mean, I could easily take her out and nail her, but the tab for the evening would probably come out to the same total as if I were going to go one of the “massage parlors” in Nashville and partake of the “services” offered there. Were I just looking to get laid, I’d really prefer a prostitute over this gal. With the prostitute, there’d be none of the annoying conversation necessary, I’d also be free to do what I wanted to do, later on in the evening. Whereas, with the gal at work, I’d have to take her out, make conversation (and I am not good at making “fluff” conversation at all), fake interest, all so I could get her to fake an orgasm. That’d take most of the night. I’ve got more important things to do. Really.
Um… you got her number?