Strange Laws That Made You Laugh

In Texas, it is illegal to sell your eyeballs.

As usual with these sorts of things, the reality is far more mundane.

The actual law.

These laws are outdated. Check out this one!

In Waynesboro, Virginia, it’s against the law for a woman to drive a car in Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.

That seemed an odd response. This one is just flat out wrong:

My dad told me about this one when I was a kid:

The Signal Engineer Volume 6, 1913, Simmons-Boardman Publishing Co., Chicago, New York, Cleveland, London

FinCEN,which stands for “Financial Crimes Enforcement Network”, and it is a crime to fail to report your assets to them, even if no crime has been committed, suspected nor implied. So, the act itself creates a crime, and calls it “crime enforcement” to criminalize legal actions that are not being enforced as crimes.

It’s reach has been escalated piecemeal since established in 1990 by the Treasury Department. It criminalizes any “US Person” who does not report offshore assets. Assets can include power of attorney over another parson’s assets, and a “US person” may be someone who has never been physically present in the USA in his life. For example, a Canadian with a claim to US citizenship by parentage, is required to report his Canadian mother’s property for which he has power of attorney. If his bank in Canada fails to determine his US Personhood, or fails to report his assets to the US government, his Canadian bank will be denied he right to transact any international business with any US bank. So Canadian banks have spent hundreds of millions of dollars of their own money surveying every account holder, to determine if they are US persons, and reporting accounts to the US Treasury Department. All so the US can “enforce” crimes that are not even suspected, and do not even appear to be crimes before or after scrutiny…

Nobody is laughing.

I think the ground rules should be all posts about a law require a cite. Otherwise this will just be perpetuating the internet BS about laws that don’t really exist.

“It’s illegal to chain your alligator to a fire hydrant in Michigan”

Although completely true, it’s stated to be confusing … generally it’s illegal to chain anything to a hydrant; your dog, your bike, and yes, even your alligator. You might find it illegal to park your car in front of one as well.

Louis “L.M.” Boyd is almost singlehandedly responsible for mis-stating many of these laws and repeating the absurd, often invented ones. His column used to drive me insane with how he could make tap water an absurd thing, through enough tangled description.

The one about waving a red flag in front of a car may date back to England’s “road locomotive” laws, which had all kinds of hugely restrictive rules about the earliest generation of steam-powered road vehicles. (2 mph max, walker with red flag in front during the day and a red lantern at night, full stop and five minute wait at any crossroads, etc.) It had to be repealed ca. 1910 to allow modern(er) autos to be operated.

Here’s mine:

I always thought it was funny that the Federal Government did not rule that all employees are entitled to take bathroom breaks when necessary until April, 1989. What did we do before then, cross our legs?

Of course, it took that long for such a ridiculous legal battle to get to the federal level.

In the USA, the federal government is not in the business of making such rules. They are left to the several states, and the federal government exercises the unusual power to intercede only when there is willful , negligent or flagrant violation of human rights at a state level. There are those who believe that this is as it should be.

This one makes me cry: NJ lesbians must first have sex with men before receiving insured fertility treatment

The silly NC bathroom law, if strictly enforced, could bring a situation where nobody would be allowed to go pee, without first showing a birth certificate.

Wait! We don’t have to do that now? Goddammit! Somebody’s been pranking me!