Before I got security my house was broken into. It had to have been in daylight while I was at work. Someone kicked in the outer and inner door to get in. All that was missing was my VCR. If they had gone into my small library room they would have got the camera and binoculars, but idiots don’t read much I guess. A small gift package was rummage through, and a sealed envelope was torn open. It contained pieces of a Garfield coin bank I keep intending to repair.
The police said not to get a new VCR right away, as the thief may try and come back for it. Sure enough, six days later the same thing happened but little was taken. TV was probably to big to take. So the thief went into my refrigerator and cooked the bacon and eggs s/he found there. Grease was all over the stove and sink. And the asshole wasn’t content to use my regular dishes. They went to the back of the cupboard and got out my one good china plate to eat off of.
It was the second robbery that freaked me out, not even because of the food. I couldn’t find my cat. I tore around the place, scared to death he had been killed, and by the time the police officer arrived I was into only the second fit of hysterics I have ever had. I still managed to give the officer the info he wanted, then he suggested that he go outside, because the cat might now be too scared to some out for a stranger. About five minutes later Baby poked his head out of the back of a big storage closet I have. Talk about relief!
A former coworker of mine had this happen to him: He was at a concert and when he left he discovered that thieves had broken into his car and stole his CD player, they rifled through all his CDs but didn’t take any! He said that he didn’t know which was more insulting, the fact that they stole his CD player or that they didn’t find his CDs worth stealing! (And mind you, the guy had good taste in music, so they could have easily sold the stuff at a used CD store.)
A note about the car that showed up after a week, I’d lay dollars to donuts it had about 900 unexplained additional miles on it. My sister had hers stolen (left keys in it “for a second” that lasted 30 minutes), and found a week later with exactly the number of miles it took to get to and from NYC. She lives in SC. They do that fairly often to run drugs.
I was showing my soon-to-be-wife-then-ex-wife Niagara Falls in February, when they are frozen. Cold as a witch’s brass brassiere that night! About (or aboot, we were in Ontario) 2 minutes outside the car was all she could take. The passenger window was smashed and her DayTimer thingy was taken from UNDER the seat, leaving my CD’s, radar detector, and other portable goodies. An obvious smash and grab from someone watching the lot, seeing a woman get out without a purse in her hand.
When crossing back into the US with a Canadian Tire plastic sheet trying to hold out the 7 degree air, the Border Guard asked what our business in Canada was. I said we went for dinner, to look at the Falls, and to get my car broken into and her purse stolen. He said he was gonna ask about that.
Location: Hawai’i, the then-new (and crappily made) parking garage of Queen’s Medical Center.
Circumstances: Came back to car after meeting Mom and noticed that ya know, something wasn’t quite right with this picture.
Object: The brake pedal connection thingy. That was it. Brake pedal was resting on the floor board. Thingy you use to connect pedal to the rest of the car: gone. Definately a ‘huh?’ moment for all involved. In fact, I think the first words out of the security guy’s mouth were ‘Huh?’
Outcome: Jury rigged something so we could get to auto-supply store and buy replacement for a couple o’ bucks.
It still makes me go ‘huh?’ I mean, the car was in good shape (body wise) at the time. The only reason I can think of for them not stealing the entire car outright was that hey, it’s an island. White 67’ Mustangs aren’t exactly common anymore. Especially ones that were stock, and built for the Hawai’i market. (No heater, no a/c.) (We’ve since added a heater, and a few other things.)
I didn’t think I had one of these to contribute - the one time my car was broken into, they took the stereo and my 60-tape case full of cassette tapes. The only weird thing about that incident was that they gained entry to the car, not by smashing a window or jimmying the door, but by ripping the lock out of the door. I mean, jeez, fellas… throw a brick through the window, it’d be cheaper to fix.
Then I remembered: Shortly after I got married and moved back to Dallas, I lived in a slightly seedy neighborhood. We had locked off-street parking, so sometimes I left my bicycle parked around the corner of the building, inside the “secure” area but not locked to anything.
One day my landlord (who lived in the other half of the duplex I lived in) left the gate unlocked. I was sitting in the bedroom watching TV and noticed movement on the other side of the miniblinds; I looked closer and realized that one of the little neighborhood urchins was stealing my bike!
I pounded through the house to the back door and charged out, roaring in fury. I’m a VERY big man, and I was wild-haired and shirtless. I’m sure I made that kid shit his pants. He was only about 8 years old; there was a cluster of older kids in the street watching. I bet they were making him do it as some sort of initiation or something.
Anyway, I grabbed my bike with one hand and him with the other. He was screaming with terror and his fellow chulos instantly abandoned him and took off. I lost my balance; bike, niño and I went down in a heap. He twisted loose and ran for his young life, but not before I grabbed one of the shoes off his feet.
I wonder what that kid told his mother about the missing shoe… he looked like he probably didn’t have but one pair.
When I went to college, I got my aunt’s old '67 Beetle. It looked great, but everything possible was wrong with the engine; I was barely able to limp to work (about 2 miles) and back to campus.
Somebody broke the wing window and stole it one night. They left it about a half a block up the street. To this day I’m still insulted; my car was so crappy that even theives didn’t want it. They did take the cigarette lighter and the ashtrays, though.
So awhile back my sister’s house gets broken into while he family is vacationing in Disney World. What does the theif take? The 500 dollar digital camera? The 1200 dollar computer? The VCRs? The TVs? Jewelry? Nope, just a baby bottle bank of quarters from my neice. Everything else was left untouched.
20 years ago I drank too much one night and passed out on my bed in a one room rental house leaving the front door wide open and the light on. When I woke up the next morning, my boots were gone and a ripped open loaf of wheat bread was laying on the kitchen floor.
Somebody must have just strode right in to the kitchen, torn Mrs. Baird a new asshole, dropped the loaf where they stood and picked up my nice pair of roughouts on their way out.
One day, my friend’s truck was broken into. Smashed the window, etc etc. What did they steal?
A pack of gum and a tape of polka music. (her grampa is in a polka band). Why? Perhaps it is better we do not know.
The college I went to was in a less than desireable neighborhood, and a lot of the off campus housing for students was even worse off.
One day I was over at a friend’s house, and we were heating up the grill (one of those little weber “smokey joe” types) and getting ready to cook up some burgers. Someone saw something move out on the porch, so we went to take a look to see what was going on.
There was a guy, walking down the alley away from the house, carrying the still lit, smoking grill. Periodically it would get too hot and he’d have to put it down.
I still wish we had recorded that call to the police.
Grill theivery follows my family around like a curse. And it’s only the Webers that have been stolen. My parents have had three - count 'em, THREE - Weber kettle grills stolen from the backyard. When I moved into my old apartment, my parents bought me a slightly smaller Weber grill (not a Smokey Joe, but one of those cute red ones) for my little porch. Knowing my family’s record, I would bring it inside after it cooled off every time I used it. The one time I forgot - sure enough, it was swiped. In my current place, we inherited a gas grill, and have left it outside all year round with nary a problem. Go figure.
My friends house was broken into a few months ago. They stole a 5 year old VCR, a 13" TV, and some empty CD cases. They left behind a $1000 digital camera, new, still in box, that my friend had brought home from work and sat right in the middle of the living room floor. I mean, they had to walk around the thing, at some point.
