Strange Things You Say Involving Your Pet's Name

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Lucy gets called:
Lucitania
'Tania
Lucite
Boots
Lucy Boots
Little Dog
Rediculously Small Dog
Ya Little Pain in the Ass, What’s Wrong With You? (like a registered name- long and descriptive, only different)
and sometimes I just yell “Luuuuuucyyy, you got some ‘splainin’ tooo doooo!!!”

Nicki (short for Copernicus) just gets
Nicki-bod (Headless Horseman reference)
and
Crab-Ass

Collectively the girls are called “Dogs”.
“Hey Dogs! Ya gotta go out?”
“Dogs, come clean up the food Katcha threw on the floor.”

62

Well, this is rather syrupy, but here goes:

My poodle Midnight gets:
Sweetie, fuzzy, wuzzy booboo bear.
Or sweetie, baby, Mommy’s honey bunches of love.

And my cat, Heloise (I took my name after her) gets:
Darling, beautiful honey doll. Or some other such saccharin name.

What can I say? I’m plain sappy about my pets.

63

Our cat’s name is Ada. I usually greet her after work with “Ada Ada (ate a) rutabaga”, which my daughter then takes and expands to include tomata, space invada, data, cheese grata, etc. The other thing I do is point at the cat and yell “there’s a kitty cat!”, whereupon the cat will then begin a hide-and-pounce game that’s hilarious. She’ll hide on the first step of the basement stairs, where you can just see the eyes and flattened ears, waiting for that ankle to come just a little bit closer.

64

Three Cats, One Dog, in order of acquisition:

Edie (cat) – full name, Edina Davis; alternately known as Miss Edie, Edina, Lamb, Lambkins, Mummy’s Lamb, Bound, Mummy’s Little Lump, Sweet Edie; her Granna (my mother, with whom we live) calls her Get Off My Bed.

Frances (cat) – full name, Francesca Davis; alternately known as Miss Frances, Francesca, Bunny, Brown Bunny, Mummy’s Bunny, Mummy’s Meatloaf, Precious Frances; her Granna calls her Bun. A funny thing about Frances is that we had a next door neighbor at our old house whose name was also Frances - when I’d go out the door and yell for my cat, the neighbor lady would come out. Confused us both for a couple of weeks until all introductions were made.

Snuggles (cat) – full name, Snuggles Davis; alternately known as Snuggle Bear, Bear, Mummy’s Symmetrical Bear, Little Bear, Nibbles, Mummy’s Precious Bear, Mummy’s Vicious Bear; his Granna calls him Nibbley-poo (which I don’t think is quite nice).

Hap (dog) – full name, Hap Davis; alternately known as Happy, Brown Dog, Big Brown Dog, Pup, Brown Pup, Mummy’s Big Bear; his Granna calls him Brown Dog or Get Down.

I also have a fish, which my mother calls “clean the aquarium”. I don’t know what that means.
And I used to have a free-range gerbil called ND (pronounced Indy), which was short for Near Death, considering he was free range in a house with all of the above. Alas, now he’s just D. (Ironically, he met his end in his own cage, from old age.)

65

Real life name: Mud

Somewhat of a tortoiseshell - black cat covered in brown splotches, three brown foot pads and one pink foot pad. Looks like a black cat dropped in mud.

Code Name: HyperKitty

Runs about the house at 4 am doing aerobics. Will take off at a nanosecond’s notice to chase the elusive dustspeck (or perhaps it is chasing her, I haven’t figured out yet). Will be sleeping in a fully-curled fetal position (head and tail tucked, feet hidden) and spring into a full run through the hallway. Able to hide in plain sight: will appear behind you on the bed just as you are about to lie down.

Objective in life - Keep the humans and the cockatiel guessing as to where she is now.

Answers to: Your Majesty

“Your Majesty, may I continue reading the newspaper without you curled up on it?”
“Your Majesty, would you please stop chewing my toe?”
“Your Majesty, may I sit at the computer, which is where I was before I walked away and you took over the chair?”
“Your Majesty, would you please get out of the suitcase I am trying to pack?”

Alternate title: Dumb Cat

“Only a Dumb Cat would fall behind the hot water heater.”
“Only a Dumb Cat would overshoot the couch on a fly-by ankle attack.”

Second alternate title: &$#@ing Cat*

“The &*#@ing Cat used the laundry basket as the litterbox." "The &#@ing Cat clawed up the last roll of toilet paper in the house."
"The &$#@ing Cat bit me in the head.”

[Please note, the above incidents are the only time we’ve ever used the “Second alternate title”.]

66

Iiko is my Ibizan hound.
Iiko. Iiko Kissylips Cuddlebug Hugapuppy Allday Biscuit Boy. Buddy. Kid. Kiddo. Scooter Boots. Iiko Puppydog Boy. Snookypootz. Cookiepuss.

I try to give him the instructional talk before leaving for work. Listen to Grandmom. Give her “the look” if you get hungry. Go easy on the little dog (my parents’ Schnauzer). Don’t lick the crumbs off Grandad’s shirt.

67

me: 26 year old male
cat: 8 year old female

I feel compelled to flirt with her. If she walks out meowing I’ll either sing to her “I see you baby” like in that song or I’ll get real hip like a beatnik and go “meow baby, meow.”

68

oh, and I can’t say her first name for reason which I am too lazy to fix at the moment. But her last name is Underfoot. Which I gave her due to her nasty habit of always choosing the path that leads directly between my walking feet. Something she esepecially enjoys when it’s pitch black. I have yet to fall but she has gone flying a few times due to this. But she is a realy sweetie.

69

We have a cat named Vera that squints at us all the time which earned her the nickname Squintin Verantino. :slight_smile:

70

Words by Zebra
Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber

Once, there was a kitten
If you said Knock it off he wouldn’t listen
He’d mewow, beneath the doorway
and he would keep it up till he got his way

Though he’s big now he still climbs upon my wifes shoulder and tries to nurse her hair
He is a clumsy kitty, I’ve seen so many knick-knacks fall
He is the greatest cat of all.
Man, You can’t imagine
How he would hunt and stalk to catch his shadow
there was, an awful morning
when he played and ruined three pairs of stockings
He’s immortal, 'cause he’s got those nine kitty life things so his youth will never fade.
He is a clumsy kitty, I’ve seen so many knick-knacks fall
He is the greatest[sup]cat of all

71

Oh by the way the cats name is Tybalt

72

I have 3 black cats. Yes, I am originally from Salem, MA, and I’m sure at least some of my exes will tell you I’m a witch.

In the order they came to live with me:

Glenn: My mom calls him Father Glenn because of a little white patch on his chest, not even enough to properly call a bib.
I also call him Mama’s Precious Kitty. He’s the only one who followed me when I moved in with my fiance, because the previous owners of our house left us a mahogany pool table and Glenn is the only one who doesn’t have a furniture fixation.
For the first month or so after he came to the new house he would sit outside the bedroom door at 4am every day and meow. The door was open, he was free to come and go as he pleased. He just wanted attention. After seeing “Shrek,” we dubbed him Gabby the Small and Annoying.
Then a few weeks ago he had to have an abscessed tooth pulled, and despite my misgivings he came home with a pain-med patch on his shoulder. He tore this off the next day, tearing the fur underneath right out of the skin. Since I couldn’t bear the sight of him in one of those plastic cones, I bought a couple of infant-sized white undershirts to keep him from licking the resultant sore. We called him Brando until he healed and stopped wearing the shirt. Oddly, he would wear his shirt all around the house with no problem, and would only remove it at the bottom of the stairs to the loft (favorite napping place) on his way up. Has nothing to do with names, but my mom’s house has a sun porch and he used to sit by the door saying, “go out, go out.” It didn’t bother me that he made a sound like “go out,” but I did find it slightly disturbing that he used it in context, and never made that sound at any other time.

Allesandro - Fuzzy Thing (obvious), Squeaky Kitty (he has a very strange meow), and although he hasn’t been called this in a long time, Alien Kitty. This last one is because when we first got him, he had one unusually long eyebrow hair that stuck way up beyond the rest, and we called it his antenna. Alas, it fell out, and we no longer call him that.

Riverbed - Yes, I know it’s a weird name for a cat, and no, that’s not where we found her. We found her on the front porch. She stayed there for a couple of days, and the weather got crappy so we let her in the back hall. That was about 10 years ago. The first time I picked her up, the word riverbed popped into my head, so that’s what I named her. We usually call her Itchy or Little Itch. Lest you think she’s poorly groomed, my fiance clarifies this as “itch with a capital B.” She is very spoiled and domineering, and has been known to beat up the male cats for fun. She also used to break up arguments between the two males (they rarely fought, but argued constantly), so when they were misbehaving we would threaten to go get Riverbed. Eventually she gave up though and the threat lost its power.

My horse’s name is Sebastian, but we just call him Sebastian, or maybe sometimes Mr Pony.

73

Two cats:

Mr. Kitty (really: Sardine) aka Mr. Pants, Mr. Butt, Fuzzybutt, Mr. In-the-Way. He follows me everywhere and if I say his name, he myrtles at me, just that weird trill/purr/meow that cats do to acknowledge you. He’s very vocal in the morning, “Give me my kitty breakfast”. If he’s walking by me, I’ll lean down and scratch/rub his sides real quick and say fast, “Mr. Kitty” with the emphasis on the “Mr.” and he’ll stand there all positioned, with his ears all turned back and turn into a motor.

Annie (really: Anchovy) aka Creepy, Fink, RatFink, Chubster, Moose, Creepy Girl, Finkster, Buffalo. My husband trained her to ride on his shoulder so he’ll be walking by the desk and she’ll launch herself onto him. Or else, sit there and look like she’s ready to jump, all the time yelling out, “Ride! Give me a ride!” My husband calls himself a Kitty Bantha. She also answers you when you ask her a question, especially if she’s laying in a secret spot (like a basket) or in another room. I’ll peer into the bedroom where she’ll be laying on the bed and say “What are you doing?” and she’ll chatter back an answer. Randy is always telling me to make her chatter; thinks its a riot. Plus she has the world’s largest motor that turns on if you just look at her.

74

OK, sos my fiirst cat here as an adult was named Mnemon. Why? Well I’ll tell you why. She arrived under our porch in February, pregnant, starving, wounded and frostbitten. The vet gave her no more chance than “hmmm”, and pet owners know how serious THAT actually is. Well, they had to remove most of one rear foot because of all the trauma, and being diabetic, that was very close to home for me (foot care is a big part of your training as a diabetic). So she was my mnemonic device for taking care of my feet. She lived to be about 16 or so, and was a fat, grand dame of a cat.
Since her, I have had a succession of cats: Big Fat Hairy Deal and his sister Sylvia (both now 20!) and together they make Hairy and Sylvia Cats (say it out loud for best effect). Hairy was named after a line from a Garfield cartoon, but that’s an even longer explanation. Then there was Ming the Merciless, who was found in the giant building where I work, and was so young we couldn’t be sure she was a she, and wanted a name we could use either way. Then there was Jones, actually for three reasons: I just saw Alien, and also read T.S. Eliot’s Old Possum’s book Of Practical Cats (Bustopher Jones) and since we already had four cats, I must have a cat Jones! Then there was Dinky, who was only a newborn when we found him screaming in the neighbor’s driveway - the joke was, after being smaller than the palm of my hand, he grew to 18 pounds and fluffy besides. He, alas, died young. And after him came Ms Thing, which is pretty self-explanatory.
Now my DOG, my very first, was a loaner puppy we were to board as a favor, just until a real owner was located, and she just passed away two weeks ago from emphysema at the age of 13. Her name was Bette No R, and you french students will get the first joke - she was mostly black lab; and we also figured we can’t do any better. (We were right. We REALLY miss her.) But, we now have a new pup we saved from death row, much more of a spaniel type, that someone named Douglas. He’s estimated at about a year old. Since he boings up in the air and is such a fast dog, we elaborated and called him Douglas McDonnell (the aerospace geeks AND Scots will get the joke here). And we dug the dog, too. We aren’t sure if he dug less. Argh.
Yeah, we make all the “woogie, woogie” idiot noises when talking to our pets. So what? Even the cats love us deeply, no kidding. We are honored to have them as our friends, and if they allow our idiocy, what better sign of friendship is there?

75

Our “german shepherd & something fuzzy” mix’s full name is Spooner (from a Jimmy Buffet song) Grace (because she has none)

Various nicknames:

Obvious: Spoon, Poon, Poonhead, Spoonzle, Pooner, PoonerPup

Fuzz-butt - see physical description

Spaz dog - when her herding instincts get the better of her & she runs at full speed around the living room - back behind the loveseat, around the footstool, up the stairs, around the pool table etc. Usually yelled encouragingly with frantic arm-waving optional.
Picture link below - I hope…

76

My behmoth mutt-dog’s name is Thor.

aka:
Thorny, Thorry, Torry, Thorny Albert, Albie, Bertie, Baby Thorny, Baby Huey, Thorny Apples, Thorny Melons, Thorny Lemons, Oh-My-Thorny, (which devolved into) Uma Thurman.

And we won’t even get into the Thor-related song lyrics I have created.

77

We’ve always sung to the animals…when I was pregnant it reached heights of Serious Silliness. I really thought I was going to go into premature labour from laughing too hard on several occasions. We were living in Korea and the cats had to be indoors only, much to their dismay. Do you know that song off of Wyclef’s first album (I forget the name) that goes “I asked my mother, ‘Why do you cry’, she said ‘Your brother, he just died…I told him not to go outside’” and so on? Well, to that tune:

“I asked that Manny, ‘Why do you cry?’, he said 'That Kitty, he just ran by…He said ‘See you later, I’m going outside, gonna run to the basement, gonna run and hide’”

and so on with several lines that varied and never rhymed quite so well, mostly about the bad local kitties (feral cats abound in Korea)biting them and so on.

My husband calls Kitty “El Retardo” and Manny “Mr. Dorkenhimer”.

78

We have 3 brittanies.

12 year old female Lou Belle is also known as Lou-baby, the boss, or head bitch depending on her mood.

4 year old Thom’s Redbud Buckeye also known as Buck is just my big ol hunk o puppy love, or Buckie-Boy.

4 month old Choate’s Jake (named by his first owner) is currently called Flop-eared Jake cause one or both of his ears are always flipped back–giving him an even more goofy look, We may change his name to Jake of Spades because he has a perfectly spade shaped pattern on his white belly. But often now he is called Dammit Jake, No Jake, Put that down Jake, Come Jake, Don’t eat the furniture Jake, Leave that big dog alone–that’s the sharp end–Jake. Mostly though, it’s Just sit here and let me hold you while you’re little Jake.

79

Hmph. Well, we used to call Mnemon the cat Moaner because she would grunt like Sydney Greenstreet to get our attention.
The #1 dog, Bette, my wife always called Betty Lou in a very singsong voice, aka Big Dog. Since I was given constant razzing for having gotten immediately attached to the puppy, I had to prove that was untrue, and for her whole life I called her Ugly Dog, Fat Dog, Big Fat Ugly Dog, Stinky Dog, Smelly Belly, etc., etc., and she would just wag her tail harder and roll on the ground in glee. Note: in all the above cases, including my wife, “dog” is pronounced with a long O, as in “doag” Big Dog translates to Beeg Doag. Fat Doag is actually one word: fatdoag.
The #2 dog, Doug, is rapidly developing the nickname “you dumb bastard”.
Ming The Merciless was usually referred to by the sound she usually, and precisely, pronounced: “twat?” She would often answer to this. (Big Fat) Hairy (Deal) has to be pronounced in as long a syllable as your air supply allowed: “Haaaaiiiiiiiiiirrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!” He is now deef as a post, so we only say this for our own amusement.
Alas, since Ms Thing has a brain of lint, it takes all the baby talk we can muster just to reassure her we just want to scratch her head. The words don’t matter, as long as you sound like Glinda the Good Witch. To keep from getting Ming and Ms Thing confused, my wife refers to the latter as “Missy” most of the time.
All animals, given a high shenanigan level, might be referred to in raw stevedore language starting with “YOU STUPID FKING CAT (or dog) WHAT THE FK IS GOING ON HERE???” and continuing from there. :rolleyes:

80

Toby was called “Killer” (a BIG joke) when he came from the shelter, so when I yell at him, his name is Tobias K. Ferguson. He has huge pointy ears, so he’s also called Batdog, along with the mandatory “Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na BATDOG!”