I have two dachshunds: sugarladysweetcakes and honeybunnysweetiepie [names to fit their long backs plus we live in the South]. honeybunny is honeybunny unless she’s called you idiot. sugar gets called sugarbugar and bugarbut. I guess we should be a bit more polite to our dogs.
Okay, my cat’s full name is Beru DaSquid KittyCat, affectionately known as all of the following:
Beru
Squid
Turdhead
Turdhead Kittybutt
PrettyGirl
Rotten
Rottonia
Miss B
Darkest Beru (Cha-cha-cha) [adapted from Paddington, who comes from darkest Peru]
More to come as I think of them…
I have a border collie mix whose full name is Prozac. I got him as a puppy and he is an excellent antidepressent. I usually just call him Zac but when he’s bad it’s PROZAC! My father calls him “Puppo Dog Biscut” which is from a Three Stooges short. I have been know to call him:
Muzzy (I have no idea)
Scrunchers (see above)
Best Boy Ever
Mr. Silly Pants
I adopted a Mini Pin, who had been abused. She has no idea she’s a dog, and lacks that small dog Napoleonic/Joe Pesci complex. She’s afraid of everything and LOVES everyone. Doesn’t bark, bite, or participate in any other canine like games…everyone LOVES her.
Lilliput (she’s only 12 pounds)
My little rump roast/loaf of pumpernickle (she’s really oddly shaped)
Lillian
The Princess (accent on the 'cess)
pootey-pie
best girl ever
Miss Thing
They have both been refered to as sweet pea, baby doll, loves 'o my life, ‘the babies’ and dumb and dumber.
My father has called each of them on at least one occasion
‘kukla-polotin-Christmas celebration’ I don’t know if you know who Kukla, Fran and Ollie were/are, but that’s where it comes from…the WHY is anybody’s guess.
I guess this doesn’t really include his name, but our family has pack howls with Kelsey. We all start howling, and he joins in. He really gets into it, sometimes even snorting. He always stops a minute or so after us. Silly boy.
I had a cat named smokey. She was in a car accident and got thrown from the car. She wasn’t hurt, but she kind of went crazy after that. Everytime she did something that was totally nuts I’d say, “Hokey Smokes Smokey”. She was a great cat though, always good for a laugh.
Actually, I also refer to my dogs as Phoebe the Main Dog, and Cooper the Backup Dog. 
And I once had a cat called Elsie (L.C.=Little Cat.)
My dog’s name is Took (after the Hobbit Surname).
She’s called, and answers to, all of the follwing:
Hobbit-ewok, pronounced “Hobbitywok” because she looked like the baby ewok from RotJ when we first got her
Tookerty Bookerty
Tookie the Wookie
Tookie Cookie
Miss Thang
Punkin
Punkin-eater
Tookinanner
Puppinanner
Punkinanner - my grandmother used to do this to her grandkids, just add “nanner” to their names as in “Katenanner”
But lately we’ve just gotten into calling her Tookie Tookerton. She loves it.
I had a fish once. Named him Neil.
I also have been know to refer to my dogs in this way. But I always like to add that Lilly is just in case Zac is unable to fulfill his doggy responsibilities. Also, when anyone asks how many dogs I have I always tell them 1 1/2. Lilly at 12lbs and such uncanine like behaviour does not count as one entire dog.
We have so many nicknames for the critters (not to mention personal theme songs) it’s ridiculous.
Phoebe gets called Foosta, which evolved into Foosta-Woosta, then into Rooster Dog because she wakes you at the crack of dawn on nights she stays in. She’s also known as Dippy Dog, Phoebe Jane and Shuttle Dog (because she escorts people walking back and forth between our two houses).
Barney is Barney Ray, Barney Rubble, Barnstormer, Tiger Dog, and The Beige Bomber.
Remer is Ray-ray, Pookanoo, and World’s Most Useless Dobie.
Chance is Chan-Chan, Chancey-wancey, Doodlebug and Fathead (to his credit, he does have a lot of padding on the top of his half-retriever, half-pit skull).
Olga is Olga T. Cat, Rock-n-Rolga, Funbunny, Olgopolgo (after the lake monster Ogopogo), Boo-boo kitty, Boo-boolina and The Baby.
Yep, when it comes to naming our pets, we ain’t right.
**Rock-n-Rolga **…Phoebe from my home says hi to Phoebe from yours!
(My Phoebe is a fairly cranky, iconoclastic lovable old GSDx.)
Rotflmao! Must be a guy thing!
I sing to our dog Charley (and our 3 cats).
For example:
To the tune of “Hava Nagila”: Charley, my little Charley, my little Charley, my little Char, Cha-Cha-Cha!
To the tune of “If You’re Happy & You Know It”: If you’re my doggy and you know it wag your tail…
To the tune of “Little Bunny FooFoo”: Little doggy Charley, you’re my little good boy…
The words completely lack wit, but they delight the dog so much it’s worth it! (My husband and kids think I’m a nut!)
One of the first times my wife came over to my parents apartment I noticed they had put a picture of our old parrot on the wall, who was named Papa (Hemmingway reference). I started reminiscing, pointed out that Papa was holding his spoon and talking about how he loved to eat out of that spoon. Then we started talking about how he started hating my Mom after seeing her give my Dad the heimlich maneuver, after which Dad was hospitalized for a couple of months, how we figured he must have thought my Mom killed him. Talked about how Papa would sneak out at night and hide in the cupboards in the kitchen, then jump out and bite my Mom on the foot when she came in for her morning coffee, laughing like a maniac and mimicking her screams. I then noticed a horrified look on my future wife’s face - turns out she couldn’t really see the picture from where she was and assumed we were talking about a senile grandparent.
Hehehe, and hello back from our Phoebe to your Phoebe! Your Phoebe sounds very lovable, actually! Our Pheebes (remembered another nickname!) is an all-black German Shepard/Lab mix with sticky-uppy ears. And sweet as sugar, but takes her farm guarding duties very seriously. Before driving off, I always tell her, “You’re in charge!” If dogs could salute, she would…
Our border collie/lab was older and named when we got her - who calls a dog Bernadette?? So we call her Bernie, or Bernadeeter, or black dog or hairball.
Our dalmatian, Pixel, responds to Pix, Pixillator, stupid dog, in fact, anything ending with “dog”.
And they’re both big babies. We had thunderstorms sweep thru the area yesterday, and both plastered themselves to my sides - what a coupla wussies!!
Our Shih Tzu, Cindy, gets called ‘Cindy-Roo’ a lot. I don’t know why, but I think it’s cute.
I also think it’s hilarious to ask her if she’s a ‘Potty Girl (party girl)’ when she’s acting like she needs to go out.
“Cindy-Roo! Are you a potty girl? Do you want to go outside? Let’s go! Let’s go outside!”
Sad, I know.
My dog’s name is Caesar. When I come home & he’s really happy to see me, you can see him smile. & he sneezes due to his happiness. So I always say," Caesar Dog, happy dog, the Caesar sneezer dog…"
Unless he’s gotten into the trash, & then it’s a very unhappy occasion. Then he’s a bad dog & goes straight outside, & I know he knows he’s been naughty, 'cuz there’s no sneezing. & I refuse to speak to him.
My 6 year old daughter will find me picking up the trash & go have a kind, serious, & earnest converation with Caesar & tell him he shouldn’t get into the trash & that I’m not talking to him because I’m mad. Her extreme sweetness about this usually manages to aleviate some of the grrrrness of the situation. All in all he’s a great dog & I don’t stay mad very long.
This thread is absolutely a riot. I can’t remember when I have laughed so hard…(oh wait, yes I can, the “Wolf Ass Thread”!)
Anyway, we have three dogs and a cat. Our first baby is Missy, a half Lab, half Pit. I call her Mistress of the Bark. Or Madame. Sometimes I grace her with, “Ole Gurrrrlllll”. Usually it’s Mistress of the Bark, though. She answers to it most of the time. She’s my doll-baby. She also thinks she has hands. She actually uses her front paws the way humans use their hands. Very odd.
She also humps our male dogs. I have owned hundreds of animals, dogs and cats, and have never seen a female do this. It’s hilarious.
Next is Tiger, or Ty, or Tyg but mainly we call him Big Dawg. Actually he’s not our dog. He showed up when Missy went into heat (she has yet to produce a puppy, it’s been many months now and personally I think she can’t have them, thank God) and he never went home. We mostly call him Missy’s husband. He worships her.
They look just like brother and sister, although I believe he is mainly Chow and possibly has Pit Bull somewhere. He and Mistress are nearly identical in color and are very much in love. We may have a wedding for them if they continue living in sin they way they have been doing these last several months.
Lastly, of our dogs, but never leastly, is Ozzie, our Jack Russell. He’s named after Ozzie Osbourne, because he’s just about as crazy, but he’s usually called Little Dawg, or Mammaw.
Little Dawg because he is a snipey little runt compared to the other two, and Mammaw because he pukes his brains up if he eats table scraps, especially pasta. This is taken after my husband’s grandmother who had an extremely weak stomach. She would hurl if somebody even mentioned something slightly sickening, like maybe congealed bacon grease.
Mammaw’s the same way. We’ve learned not to let him have any “grown-up” foods. His tummy can’t handle it. Plus I am sick of cleaning up dog vomit if he decides he wants a piece of canteloupe or a tidbit of macaroni and cheese.
We have a cat named Jezebel (a beautiful tortoiseshell Persian) that is too imperial to make fun of. I normally say (in my special cat voice, of course):
“Oh, you hideous nightmare, you! How dare you stay in my presence, you disgusting fleabag, you! Don’t you know I despise kitties?”
She knows I’m full of crap, though. She sleeps on my curtains. And I let her.
I’m not terribly creative with my cat’s name. All I do is squeal in a high pitch voice:
“hi Mitt-en! How’s my baby?”
“Heeeeeereeee sweeeeetie! Come to mummy!”
and sometimes:
“OW! You’re NOT supposed to bite the hand that feeds you, you stupid shit!”
And I do carry on conversations in Cat with him:
Him: AAO! (I want your lap!)
Me: Ngaiow (Come over here then)
Him: RRrrrrrow (You come here)
Me: Neowr (Oh alright)
Him: Meeerrr (mmmm)
All of the following dogs are Miniature Schnauzers.
A former dog’s name was Brijette. Some of her nicknames were Brijilidge, Chocolate Eyes, Brijee, My Little Poopsie(a la “The Little Mermaid”) and BJ. Our present puppy’s name is Jewel. Some of the nicknames I have given her are Poopstain, Gremlin, Cinders, Jewely, Jewels, Idiot, and Stupidhead. Can you tell that I was very attached to our former dog? My brother has Jewel’s sister, whose name is Pepper. Pepper’s nicknames are Paprika, Pepsi, Pepsi-cola, and Pep.
Does anyone yell out the first name that comes to your head? I have frequently called Jewel Pepper and Pepper Jewel. Of course, I get names twisted anyway. My friends have learned to live with it.