Strangest Names

A friend of mine had a doctor whose name was Vijun Dixit.

We were out once goofing around and he dislocated and fractured a finger, so we went to his doctor to have it reset.

After that, I always referred to him as “Vijun Dixit the digit fixer”.

I have a customer named B. Uneek. No, seriously.

Moley Hebron - a childhood friend of a friend. Candy Kane and Sandy Klaus - childhood schoolmates. And the piece-de-resistance, a current vendor, (guys, put your knees together) Dick Grater. wince

My Dad grew up in a small town where one family ran several of the stores.

The barber shop was called: Hackett & Hackett Barbers. One son ran the Butchers shop, and a daughter (Miss Hackett) was the local dressmaker.

As for twin names… I have heard of a pair named “Lux” and “Persil”… actually good classical type names… except for the fact that (around here at least) they are both laundry detergents.

runs a guest house in Bandung, Java, Indonesia.

Loved it when I read it on his business card, and never forgot it.

Over here (In Australia) we have a gynaecologist named Dr Seman.

True story!!

My dentist, Dr. Smillie. No joke!

I once worked with a girl named Rainy Summer Day. She had a sister named Bright Autumn.

I had a class with a girl named April May January.

Retired teacher Mama Crease had a kid in her class named Doctor (forget the last name) one year.

And I thought my name was bad…

I delivered fire wood to a woman who came to the door wearing a tie-dyed moo-moo, long salt and pepper hair, a joint in her mouth, and a bottle of vodka in her hand. In the other hand was a cheque for the wood. The name on the cheque?
Starchild Freebird.

Perhaps we should stick to punning names, not just …interesting ones.

My favorite locally is Phenus Head. Feel free to confirm this for yourself in any of the online phone directories (search for first name = “p”, last name = “head” in the Atlanta, GA area).

It had to happen sooner or later…
I actually have one of those odd names. Married into it, actually. Makes naming kids very hard. My last name is an adjective (and a funny on at that) and we made the mistake of paying more attention to picking a good first name than listening to the whole thing together. Consequently, my kids all have middle names that start with either ‘B’ or ‘M’. Yeah. So that means their names read as sentences–and ungrammatical ones too: I won’t give you their real names, but here’s an example–
Fred B. Large or Sally M. Crooked.
I asked my son if he thought it was child abuse and he said he liked his name. What a great kid.

My eye doctor was named Dr. Reader. My grampa knew a guy named Harry Rump. Knew a family who’s last name was Jacobi. Almost named their son Obi Wan.

A good friend of the girl I dated in high school had the first and middle names (brace for it): Donny Marie. OH, the pain…

My mom tells me that when she was a teenager, a popular joke to play on friends was to hand them the local phone book, telling them the proper page and how many names down the column to count, and telling them to “Look and see what Richard Burton gave Elizabeth Taylor for her birthday.”

The unfortunate target name?

Hiscock.

There’s a CPA firm in our town by the name of Cheatham & Company, PA.

Couldn’t tell ya’…he was an author of an article in a reading list I had to type up for a Prosthodontics literature review. The journal it was published in only gave the last name and initials, so I don’t even know what his first name was.

I thought of a couple more…back in the Dental Department, a fellow secretary had to correspond with a family named Dastrange (Da Strange? Something like that), which was funny enough, until a week later, I was working in another department and came upon a person named Deweird. I almost fell off my chair giggling…

My wife knew a girl in high school named Sandy Claus. Her name wasn’t Sandra or anything. Her parents actually named her Sandy.

I also heard of a family last name of Green. They named one kid Forrest, one kid Kelly…Parents can be so cruel.

There was a Kelly Kelly at my high school. I suppose her parents figured she would get married someday, that hardly seems an excuse for 20 or 30 years of ragging.

I’ve heard of people named Orangejello (Or-ON-jillo), Lemonjello (lem-ON-jillo) and Shithead (Sha-TEE-ad)(now that’s tortured pronunciation). My all time fave: a prostitute named Sandra Goodhead.

My cousin encountered a woman who named her child (pronounced) PAH-jah-mah Chiquita. Melissa said, “How do you spell the first name?” and the woman said, “P-A-J-A-M-A-S.” Turns out she saw it in a Sears catalogue and thought it was pretty.

I knew a girl named Dainty Peach Ceurvos (sounds like a tequila flavor to me!) and another named Champagne Love.

Eeesh.