Strine......any Aussies feeling like a story?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

It has often been pointed out here on the SDMB that Australians ‘talk’ a bit funny and that our use of the English language differs markedly from that of other normal speakers of the mother-tongue. So, I thought to give ya’s a lesson in Strine.

Yesterdy I went down the street with me’ mate, Bazza and his sheila Donna to get some munchies at the souvie shop. It was closed but, so we got back in the ute, shoved the kelpie over the back, and hurled down the backroads to Dave’s joint where we knew he was bunging on a barbie (he got Best and Fairest the week before in the local league footy team)…so drinks were on him, you might say! :smiley:

We’d won some snags and chops at the raffle the night before at the RSL, so we were good for tucker. Dave’s missus, Shazza, had made some coleslaw and had a couple of tins of beetroot, so our vegetable intake was okie-dokie. Bazza bought a slab of VB at the bottle-o, and Donna had the remains of a box of goon (Fruity Lexia) so that covered the ladies (or so we thought).

We were the first to arrive, so helped Dave get the barbie stoked. The wood supply was a bit dismal, so we headed down the road with the chainsaw to get some old fence posts that had seen better days…we earthed the electric bit first before we chopped the old redgum posts down. Hope the squatter doesn’t get too shitty, but hey, we couldn’t see any cows or sheep or shit in the paddock so who cares eh?? Fucking Collins/Pitt Street Farmers, don’t deserve fences anyway. :smiley:

A few of Dave’s footy mates turned up, but they were already tanked so no assistance was to be had from them (except for slogging back a few of our precious beers, bastards). His mum and dad rocked up next, and Missus Dave had a massive pav for desserts, god she’s a sweetheart, whilst Mister Dave joined in with the bloke crew to knock back our (rapidly diminishing) ale (bastard). Missus Dave then asked for a glass outta the box, and by GOLLY, she meant a real glass, not one of those pansie, poofter wine glasses…she polished off a SCHOONER of the Fruity. In one hit. :eek: And then she pointed her glass at the box for a refill. Sheesh.

(…to be continued…)
Now, which of you Aussie locals or ex-pats would like to continue this story…in Aussie Lingo of course.

*It was thanks to a sheep that I came up with this original idea! (Cheers Penultima Thule :smiley: )

2

I checked the back shed today. There was a whipper snipper there (rooted) but I found my address book with all the sheilas names. All the ones who a real man would want- I could have screwed a snakes top lip.

Got to run- my pet kangaroo is scratching at the back door.

Better draw stumps.

3

You’re a fucken’ PIKER mate…drop in like a blowie, buzz about then nick off again?? Typical. :smiley:

4

Watch it Victoria or I’ll show you a bit of West Australia. And why aren’t you cooking your husbands breakfast?

Give a sheila a computer and she thinks she owns the place.

5

Ahem…check my current Location Field ya dag! I’m in the Supreme State (or whatever they call it) now, so you Mining State Morons can go jump a billabong for all I care! :smiley:

Oh, and btw, I DO own the place! :stuck_out_tongue:

6

NSW- land of poofters and corrupt politicians. I think you used to once play State of Origin until Qld gave you a shafting.

7

I was having a jimmy woodser in the local shanty whilst all this malarkey started up.
Been a goodun too, no wuckers. Haven’t chundered or anything

Then this bloody ruckus starts from these mexican blow-ins. St Kilda types, or Fountain Lakes kath & Kimbos more likely. 'Knoath, they still got bloody Yarra water in their bladders and they reckon they can doss-up on the high rent side. Bloody gumsucking malleestumpers. Rough as guts too. Would rip the suede off a desert boot. Was thinking of dipping me bib in but then the bloody mintie chew’n sandgropers come stomping in with their ES boots and its gone all Cedric.

But fair suck of the sauce, this Cicero coot he really knows is onions, wog handle or not. Put the bogans back in their place. Bewdy bonzer.

8

Yeah, nuh.

9

I’ve not come across “souvie” before – is it short for “souvenir” or “souvlaki”?

10

Souvlaki.

11

My god it’s like a foreign language.

12

So being a cove of sober habits, the next morning I was up at sparrows fart as is me usual. Trundled to the thunderbox, did me three S’s and the domestics. Rolled me swag and clobber up and hung it of the clothes line to give it a bit of air and make sure the joey blakes didn’t move in. Was as hungry as Tyson but boiled the billy and after some googs, bacon & damper was right as rain.

Domestics done I settled back on the verandah with the footie section of the Tele and a cuppa. Cats had touched up the Blues at the G and the Pies got toasted by the Weagles. Bloody ripper, will hang shit on Goodsie all week and Bazza will be in a hump. Serve the mug galah right.

Quiet as Rookwood with Princess Ralph and all the chuckle bunnies in the holiday camper over the road. Judging by all the dead soldiers it was one hell of a shindig.

Round about morning smoko a car with a can of Fosters on the roof pulls up past, blowing the bulldust into me Coolgardie safe. Bastards.

Struth, I sez, what’s the caper. Turns out he was looking for the Mexicans. The bottle-o at the rubbity had been knocked off and a whole heap of frooty flagons gone AWOL. No mate I sez, your going off half sucked. None of my beeswax but they’ve been as good as gold since they’ve rolled in. None of my chooks have gone missing and they sound like they got a few quid. They’ve been tucked up there quiet and all since refreshers yesterday.

Bloody hydraulics, ‘e sez, they’ll half inch anything not nailed down.

This’ll be fun I thought, I should sell tickets

13

Speaking of chooks, I just went down the back to have a gander at my girls, and I swear they’re a few stubbies short of a six-pack.

Refilling their water, I tipped the old stuff over the passionfruit vine to give *it *a drink and the old boilers went troppo. Why on earth would they prefer water mixed with mud and chook-shit over the sweet stuff that comes out of the tank? :confused:

14

I’m going to need a few stubbies to get through all this…

Cicero, are you in WA?

15

'Strewth, I flew here, but I know meself ya can’t have an Aussie story without Lamingtons*.

I got Buckley’s of adding much here, what with me being a bloody Seppo n all, but I sure do lurve me Lamingtons. I’m only a Seppo till next week anyway, then I get me 'Straylian citizenship!

I will tell ya a story bout my mate Baz, though, whilst I’m here. He’s a bit of a dag, but I let ‘im hang about regardless, cause he buys a slab o’ stubbies when he comes round the house. He was tellin’ me he had a blue with 'is missus, cause he was “getting off at Redfern”, if ya know what I mean - and ya will know, if yer a bloody Sydneysider . Barely dropped 'is daks and asked her if she fancied a root before it was all over. His icy pole was a bit melty, is what I mean to say. It was cactus.

So him an his missus had this blue cause she thought it was all a bit suss. Thought he had him a bloody Sheila on the side, but fair dinkum, he didn’t. So I said, “Mate, go see the quack, he’ll sort you right out. Give you a pill or summit. You’ll be right, no worries.”

Course, I couldn’t just sit on goss that good, so I called me other mate, Ben-o, to earbash him a while and tell him how Baz was in the shit with his missus. Ben-o has a mouth as big as the Simpson desert, and Baz was on to me flapping me gums before too long.

So now I’m in the shit with Baz as much as Baz is with his missus, and I got nobody else to bring free stubbies round for the footie. Baz is a bit of a drongo, though, so I don’t miss 'im, just 'is beer.

Half me luck though, Ben-o was roud the other day with some Toohey’s and some Lamingtons. That was grouse! “Bonzer,” I said, and we watched the footie. Course, it being Origin, we just ended up aggro and pissed as newts. But at least I had me Lamingtons.

Cheers,
Mezza

*In case you can’t tell, Lamgintons are Australia’s gift to the world. And I have learnt to eat Vegemite. And I will be a citizen of this fair land on the 30th of June. Oi oi oi.

16

I’ll give you guys a good mint-and-maple tea from the True North Strong and Free if you can translate this thread into Canadian.

17

Also, “cove of sober habits” is new for me and I’m using it.

18

Nemmine, we’ll get our own Canajun thread going sometime, eh? Mebbe on Saradee, eh, 'cause there’s no hockey now. Being as how I’m in the Prairies, I’ll bring some Vitamin P; you’re in Ontario, but I won’t hold that against you if you bring some Creemore. Dahell, tellya what, I’ll meet you in T-Bay, and we’ll get Muffin, and he can bring some Northern, and we’ll get nicely tanked talking about the Centre of the Universe and laughing at it. Hey, HJ, tag up too, and bring some Maudite, eh? Any Bluenosers or Capers or Islanders wanna get in on this?

19

I’m thinking of going on a holiday, but can’t quite make my mind up about where to go…this is such a big country and all.

At the moment I’m tossing up between a few options. There’s Briagalong, Wollongong, Gooloogong, Howlong, Toolong, Dandenong, Geelong, Croajingalong…some of them are way out beyond the black stump and I don’t want to chew up too much juice getting there.

I’d like a few mod cons for

20

I just today got a sticker for my office wall from a mate who’s up Newcastle way:

Didjabringyagrogalong

So go there. :slight_smile: