Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Ok first a little background, I have been seeing a wonderful woman for a little over a year now. It is a long distance relationship but we do try to see eachother just about everyweekend and talk every night. We have been talking tentiavly about moving closer together or moving in together, but this seems to have generated some serious tensions as of late, mostly about her job and her son. Her job is very high stress but she likes it and dosen’t want to give it up to move to be with me and now her son’s father has made to objection that he dosen’t want her to move the 2.5 hour distance away because he will never see his son again. The both live in a smaller rural town and from what I can gather he thinks that the city is evil and won’t have any part of comming here even to see his son.

I have thought about moving there but it is a rural area and there is almost no oppertuinities for a biochemist in that area (small university about a 100 miles away is the clostest thing), yet she has managerial experience and would easily find a job in the city.

What it boils down to is that all this stress as of late has taken a great toll on our relationship and I fear now that we may not survive much less move close to one another. I belive that if we did move closer that it may solve some of the stress but she won’t even think about it til the stresses have been solved. I just really don’t know what to do (and I belive this is the correct forumn for long drawn out personal problems)…

The kicker today is that I get an offer for a great new job and imediatly call her to tell her and the only response I get is “That’s nice, now get off the line I’m waiting for a call.” She used to make me so happy and I do still love her but when I can’t even talk to her because of all her stress it is making it difficult to be there for her.

Not sure I want advice but will listen, could just use someone to listen and maybe tell me everything is going to be ok… :frowning:


This from a guy who has never married (I KNOW comes as a complete shock…)

It sounds like you both are realizing the impossibility of LTR given physical distance.

Neither wants to move, plus there is the father’s “not with MY son” garbage.

See if she calls back - how long does it take? Does she mention her curtness?


IANAL, but my impression is that if they have any kind of shared custody (or if the father has any custody rights at all), the father has a right to not have the mother move with the son far away from the father.

Sorry about the stress in your relationship, NPavelka. You’ll feel better sooner or later, and things will work out. You’ll see.