Steak. It often seems to be held up as the holy grail of a wonderful and satisfying meal, but I just don’t see it.
I’ve had some nice steaks, yes, but they’re mostly disappointing and I could think of several dozen meals I’d take in preference any day.
Bacon, the Internet’s most overrated food
The Princess Bride, the world’s most over-quoted movie
Were I a MyFace/SpaceBook idiot, with all of you as listed friends, at this point I would have to de-friend (what the hell word is that…?):
Pai325 (how can you not care about coffee? Staarbuck’s definitely…but coffee?!?)
tdn (without tuna, where does the blame for dead dolphins go? And Greek yoghurt? 'Tis the yoghurtiest.)
RealityChuck (though I’m not an avid beer fan, it’s the coffee my (not) friend. Just the coffee…)
Lord Il Palazzo (without political discussion, there’s only tv shows, family crap, real estate, sports, someone’s boring sex life, food, books you’ll never read, and the weather left.)
rachelellogram (the mention of ‘club’ or ‘study group’ just turned casual sex’s sexy hair into a comb-over.)
Lacunae Matata (just sit down for gawdsake…)
Arden Ranger (though I’m deeply in love with everything you said, it’s the coffee.)
jem~ (because you either have difficulty spelling ‘cats’ or are too apathetic to specify Chihuahuas and French Bulldogs.)
cherry (had you said “going to parks full of Chihuahuas and French Bulldogs” you would have been fine.)
Hilarity N. Suze (only because I think you want to be a cat; the not caring for ice cream means I would pat you a lot though. Even if you had an overbite and dribbled.)
Zulema (…unless you’re a Trappist Monk. Then ‘having more things than needed’ requires little clarification, and your face can remain on MyFace.)
Martian Bigfoot (I didn’t want to tell you how seawater-crunchy my hair is, and how wonderful the smell of salt on my skin is as I type…but I have.)
not what you’d expect (unless you’d like a lovely thin-crust special order Dough Boy to try.)
River Hippie (just drop the coffee disinterest, that’s all I ask! Then we could be really, really good friends.)
Zsofia (I’m sure the reason has been stated enough…or maybe not - it’s the coffee thing again!!)
Bloodless Turnip (see above; and the humble bell pepper? If you called it ‘capsicum’ you’d love it!)
Soylent Juicy (cold, hot, cold, hot, cold - it’s invigororgyastic!)
Hermitian (what you say about coffee is just so terribly jittery to my single origin beans.)
TreacherousCretin (watermelon? What the hell do I do with ginger and coriander then?)
phall0106 (baths are great as ‘person soup’ - and single serve ‘people soup’ is so much better.)
PookahMacPhellimey (‘babies’ may have saved you, but it didn’t.)
FlyByNight512 (without listening to music, the voices in my head wouldn’t sing with wild abandon to make me do stuff I have to explain to the authorities. Then my life would surely mean much less than it already does.)
Diamonds02 (without poo, Dung Beetle would have had attend an expensive 10-day mountain retreat to come up with such an excellent a username.)
Sudden Kestrel (although we can discuss the de-friending when you’re in a better mood.)
salinqmind (nah, you’re okay. Just give me all the spa stuff & massages the thoughtless and unthinking have given you.)
Crawlspace (because clearly, you are crazy. I see what you did with ‘football’ It won’t wash.)
anya marie (don’t be hatin’ thongs!! Just call them by their right name and your summer feet will be lovin’ you.)
SerenaPerido (it’s the humidity, dammit! The humidity!!)
FunSize (after I have a coffee in the cemetery I’ll un-de-friend you. We can develop a No Hot or Warm Liquids 12-step program to get ourselves on talk shows. How meta!)
To all others, I thoroughly concur.
This riveting, rich thread of disinterest needs only:
anything-first-day-available-lining-up-for-days stuff;
roses;
gift hampers;
4WDs;
all things Dyson;
phone apps;
twitter,
and long-winded, egocentric tl;dr posts about personal likes and dislikes…oh wait…nobody enjoys that.
Alcohol, coffee, and mint.
Well, you live in the UK. Moving to the states gave me a whole new outlook on steak. It’s almost worth losing streaky bacon.
I’m not saying I’d turn down taking a cruise, but that Oasis of the Seas thing? A floating city, with 6000 passengers? Why?? Excess for the sake of excess? Something about the concept rubs me the wrong way.
Stuffed animals
Heart-shaped things, especially in jewelry
NFL Football (versus college football, which is not as detestable for some reason)
NASCAR
SUVs
Pickup trucks
Talking constantly about food and nutrition and what you will and will not eat. Who cares?
Talking constantly about your apps. Boring as hell. Yawn!
Harry Potter, Star Wars and all the werewolf/zombie stuff. What are you? 12?
I’m the exact opposite, I love pizza, but really don’t care for pizza loaded with things.
I’m sure the stuff you’ve piled on my pizza tastes nice, but I eat pizza because the combination of crust, cheese and tomato really works, and you’ve turned that lovely food into nothing more than an edible dish for your heaped toppings. Oh, and now the crust is soaked with grease and water, thanks.
Traffic and bad drivers.
I just can’t seem to muster much energy in complaining about things that are as much a fact of life as the rain and about as equally out of my control. And yet, people all around me get so riled up about it. I don’t get it.
Someone will call me while they’re driving and in the middle of the conversation (which is already awkward for me because I hate gabbing on the phone), they’ll interrupt my train of thought just to vent about how a driver just switched lanes without flashing their signal or some equally foolish issue. Okay, and what am I supposed to do about it? What am I supposed to even supposed to say? Hearing me validate your feelings with an “oooh, that driver sucks” over and over again might make you feel better, but it makes me feel like shooting myself in the face as seconds of my life waste away.
Cars. everything to do with cars.
Watching violence (fake or not; includes most sports).
Industrialized food products.
Buying things – includes the omnipresent being sold things.
Cities. suburbs. buildings. roads.
Risk.
Artificially altered consciousness, except for a spot of caffeine.
Vacations (see cars, cities, buying things, risk, above)
Going places to watch/hear entertainments.
Talking about food. I can stand eating it as long as nobody talks about it more than absolutely necessary.
Looking at shit (museums etc.) Resembles shopping except you don’t come home with stuff.
Parties.
I could go on, but I have to go walk the dogs in the forest.
Sure, if you also don’t discuss any of the dozens of other subjects that people commonly talk about (or far more if you’ve got a bit of creativity). I get by just fine without banging my head against the brick wall of political debate, thank you much.
Cars, yes. A car is a machine for getting places, as long as it goes and isn’t an absolute rusting hulk, I don’t care if you have a Toyota/Jaguar/Grand Cherokee/Smart Car.
And driving, and road trips for the sake of road trips. I can see younger folk wanting ‘adventure’ or getting out of the house - we used to make beer runs to Canada all the time, before you needed a f’ing passport. I don’t like driving under any conditions, don’t like driving around aimlessly, or going clear across the state to, say, an outlet mall, when there are hundreds of stores right here.
Gas. I go to put gas in, as much as I have money for, and I don’t care to discuss, rail against the companies, whine, or complain about the price of gas. There’s not a thing anyone can do about it, it’s a necessary evil, and I don’t see what talking about it accomplishes. One more burden in life, no solution.
boy, do I sound grumpy or what?
I, too, dislike air conditioning. I live in Canada and I love warmth. I get enough dang cold in the winter! Yeah, I know that without any air conditioning at all, it would probably be stiflingly hot and smelly so sure, cool the place a few degrees into a comfortable zone, but is there really a need to turn the building into a refrigerator? It’s annoying to wait all year for summer to be able to go out in a sundress, tank top or t-shirt, but have to cart something with sleeves around because I know if I go into a building I’ll freeze.
Sports
Coffee
Pets
Christmas (the modern consumeriffic version)
Apple
Talking on the phone
Enormous, faux-opulent houses. Two story entryways (or lawyer foyers), redundant formal rooms filled with ugly phony antique bric-a-brac, garage-sized bathrooms with jetted tubs, “hand-scraped” hardwood floors, brown everything.
Sports. Watching or playing. Call me when the game is over, so we can go do something fun.
Broadcast TV and reality shows. Occassional Seinfeld reruns were the last thing I watched on a local channel, years ago. Also, there is no way I will schedule things around a TV show.
Musicals and other big stage productions. People go nuts over these, but they just seem so schmaltzy.
Social media. It’s for ideas too trivial for a phone call or email, but still important enough to send to 50 people at once. Maybe I’m old and need to die soon.
Apple anything. I don’t think their UIs are any better than other options, and I don’t care if the exterior looks nice.
Megachurches. Why go to a blimp hangar and watch a loud, silly, hokey version of a religious service on a giant satellite TV? It has something to do with belonging to a group, right?
Buffets. They are everywhere, and appear to be spreading into more food types. The quality is poor, the risk of illness is higher (though still very low), and it’s only cheaper if you are interested dollars per pound instead of dollars per meal.
Valet parking. This has reached epidemic levels in Dallas, with some parking spaces on public streets turned valet-only during prime dining/drinking hours. It strikes me as a pitiable sort of overcompensation to want somebody else to move your leased BMW 50 feet.
Resorts. Why use your 2 weeks of precious, irreplaceable vacation to go somewhere far away and better-looking than home in order to sit next to a pool inside a barbed-wire fence? It makes planning easier, but who cares? A couple of hours research is worth it to go on a vacation where you aren’t a captive audience.
The whole relaxing, do-nothing vacation thing is beyond me to begin with. You can lay on the couch in your living room for a lot less money. I want to haul ass all over the landscape, see new things, and return home from the holidays worn out and in need of a nap.
Juvenile literature. There’s a strange double standard at work there. Adults who wouldn’t be caught dead with an award winning sci-fi or fantasy novel think nothing of reading a Harry Potter book out in front of God and everybody.
Clear weather. It’s OK once in a while, but everybody equates “nice” with no clouds. Bullshit. Clear means killing cold in the winter and flaming baking deathrays from above in the summer. Plus, it’s too damn bright. Give me a nice overcast and some rain maybe.
Hyphens. What gives?
Everyone’s current fascination with zombies and “zombie apocalypse” hypotheticals… snoooore.
Also, Twitter.
Any melon.
Plus coffee, children, and IceMythDeadliestBusters. Get off my TV.
TV, running, Twilight, getting drunk, having a ton of friends, football, iPods, Skype, big goals, expensive anything… I’m pretty low maintenance 
Simplicity makes me happy.
Woohoo! I made the cut! 
That’s it! You’ve expressed my formless concern with luxury cruises, too. I think that’s the same thing that makes me uncomfortable with the idea of vacationing at a luxury resort in a poor country, too.
In my defense, I’ve been a fan of post-apocalyptic fiction for a long time - the zombie apocalypse is just the latest incarnation for me. My favourite apocalypse is the disease apocalypse - the zombie apocalypse is okay, I guess.
Video games.
Television, unless it’s a documentary or Nova, in which case I treat it like the radio.
I love drugs. I wish they weren’t so addictive. I enjoy the taste of coffee and wine, as does my daughter. I let my small children try them so they wouldn’t like them, thinking it was an acquired taste–this worked for the first one but daughter #2 loved it, prompting my mother to tell me that I too would have taken up Pinot Gris and an espresso habit at the age of three, if given the chance. It is truly a matter of taste.
But who enjoys traffic and bad drivers?