Stuff you own that will embarrass you when you're dead

Now I’m not talking run of the mill pornography here. I’m talking about the stuff that, were you not dead already, you wouldn’t be caught dead letting friends and family know you own. I want the dirt!

It’s hard to embarrass me now, I really doubt you’ll be able to pull it off when I’m dead.

Otto, I don’t think anyone wants to share when you haven’t done so yourself.

It would have to be that lamp made from a dried blowfish. Hell, that gets more eye-rolling from my daughters than when I wear a kilt…

Oh, you’re asking about porn. Sorry, I misread the question.

All the porn I own is in expensive big books, like “The World Treasury of Erotic Art” or “Shunga.” Nothing embarrassing at all.

This should be in MPSIMS, shouldn’t it? Yes, I thought so.

I’ve got some Barry Manilow albums that probably wouldn’t be thought of as cool. But overall, I think I’d be ashamed (in my grave) of the sheer amount of crap. You know, 8 used ink cartridges I never recycled; a directory of quilt stores that’s five years out of date (and I don’t even quilt); random cartoons I drew in 9th grade; 47 single earrings with no pairs; ditto socks. That sort of thing.

Well it’s not something I have, but it’s something I want back so I can burn. My ex has nudes of me and I want them back before I die.


“My cat’s breath smells like cat food.” - Ralph Wiggum

I have a Hootie And The Blowfish CD somewhere.

Worse, I still listen to it on occasion.

Probably all the empty candy wrappers I hid in my underwear drawer. (To hide the fact that I stole them out of my mom’s stash).

We have some stuffed animals that I’d want someone to get rid of before people start going through my stuff. These aren’t just any stuffed animals. They’re Elvis stuffed animals. Each animal (dog, teddy bear, etc.) is wearing an Elvis-type jumpsuit with a big belt buckle. If you press the buckle it plays the appropriate Elvis song (Hound Dog, Teddy Bear). These things are so ugly and the only reason they haven’t made it into the white elephant gift exchange is because my mother-in-law would notice we’d gotten rid of 'em.


Must throw away the pocket pussy immediately.

Good post.

Some friends and I have an agreement that if we (single guys/gals or couples) die, a friend is to immediately go to the house and take away the contents of drawer or hiding place X. Could be drugs, could be porn, could be?

The only tough part is wondering what is in door X, and thinking, "I haven’t heard from them in a week, maybe I should . . . "

That “Special” suitcase under the bed.

I don’t own any pornography, but what I do own is far more embarrassing than anything I’ve seen in this thread yet, pocket pussy included.

How’s about this:

Nearly every single piece of New Kids on the Block paraphernalia ever made.

Action figures? Check.
Cassettes and CDs? Check.
Live concert videos? Check.
Ticket stub from a St Louis concert? Check.

NKOTB Bedsheets? whimpers Check.

And there’s much, much, much, much more. Granted I don’t use any of it anymore. But I still have it, because I’m a pack rat.

And damnit. Jordan is still hot.

nods, blushes, and finds something to hide under

Caiata!!! That’s so funny…coincidentally, my FIRST CD I ever bought was a NKOTB CD and I still have it till’ this day.
Along with my MC hammer…Vanilla Ice… Sigh

Grace, what with the Elvis animals and the armadillo mugs, I’m thinking your MIL is a thread just waiting to be started!

As for me, I’d rather my daughter, or parents, or parents-in-law, not find the contents of my nightstand drawer. Of course, if I’m dead, it’s not gonna bug me, but my wholesome reputation may be sullied… Not that there’s anything particularly bizarre - just a few run-of-the-mill toys. :smiley:

My MIL is a wondeful woman. I swear! She just has the worst taste. I mean really, really awful taste. Every year she asks us what we want for Christmas and we have to be very specific about what we want because if you say jeans, you’ll end up with white or black jeans instead of blue jeans. But oh the crap I have stuffed in the closests because we weren’t specific enough or she “thought” we’d like it.

Cool! Can I sort through them and buy a few off you some time? (I wear unmatched earrings almost exculsively.) Buying pairs of earrings and only wearing one of them at a time is annoying.

Hmmm…embarrassing stuff…loads of pack-rat crap, some written porn, nothing big. Some of it I don’t want my parents seeing, but if they’re my friends/sisters and knew me well enough it really shouldn’t be all that surprising. (I’m a fairly open book. At least about silly stuff like that.)

Major packrat chiming in (although it’s OK because I have a full basement and two spare bedrooms.) I bought an aquarium for an ex a couple of years ago. It was a small aquarium but I went all out with the ph tester, chemicals, aerators, etc. On item I bought but never got over to her apt. was this siphon hose that had an attachment tube on it such that there would be a sufficient pressure drob at the end of the tube (about the size of an 8" toilet paper tube) and you wouldnt suck up all the gravel. Anyhoo, the tube looks just like on of those Ahem’ “enlargement” devices one sees ads for in the back of certain periodicals.

If it’s found after I’m dead I will have no way to defend myself and explain what it is for (That’ll teach me to discard the original packaging.) If someone discovers it while I’m alive I’ll make an analogy to the second law of thermodynamics with a gleam in my eye!