Stuff you thought you had figured out as a child

[Personal]

@Soylent_Juicy

I thought that you paid to have a credit card. Like you paid Zellers $500 for their credit card then you could use that card in their store when you didn’t have enough cash. I was around 12 when my mom explained no, that’s not how credit cards worked. This was years before debit cards were invented.

I thought you had to pay someone an initial fee to work for them, and then, after you started working, they would start paying you.

[Cartoonacy]

I used to think that the people sitting in the balcony of a movie theater were watching a different movie that the people on the ground level.

I was ahead of my time.

[ftg]

@Cartoonacy

I used to think that the people sitting in the balcony of a movie theater were watching a different movie that the people on the ground level.

I was ahead of my time.

? As, for example, one large old theater I went to in college did convert the balcony into a separate theater. Like that?

The sound proofing between the two theaters was … not good.

Anyway, some silly kid stuff from a few minutes ago. I had been doing some soldering and told Mrs. FtG that. She mentioned that her mother’s death certificate listed her occupation: solderer. Mrs. FtG’s young sibling at the time exclaimed: “Mom was a soldier?”

[Soylent_Juicy]

@ftg

Anyway, some silly kid stuff from a few minutes ago. I had been doing some soldering and told Mrs. FtG that. She mentioned that her mother’s death certificate listed her occupation: solderer. Mrs. FtG’s young sibling at the time exclaimed: “Mom was a soldier?”

Reminds me of when I was little and my dad mentioned that his father was retired. I was all “Granddad’s RETARDED?!!”

I thought that everybody who moved out on their own could afford it. That they had jobs that could pay for everything and savings for “just in case”. Until I was a teenager and my cousin explained that she and her boyfriend were living “paycheque to paycheque”. Wake up call there, I tell ya.

[Machine_Elf]

@friedo

I didn’t understand why people thought money was so important, when you could always just go down to the bank and get some more. My mom did it all the time!

Paul Graham, in an essay on wealth inequality, mentions the “daddy model of wealth:”

@Paul Graham

When I was five I thought electricity was created by electric sockets. I didn’t realize there were power plants out there generating it. Likewise, it doesn’t occur to most kids that wealth is something that has to be generated. It seems to be something that flows from parents.

Because of the circumstances in which they encounter it, children tend to misunderstand wealth. They confuse it with money. They think that there is a fixed amount of it. And they think of it as something that’s distributed by authorities (and so should be distributed equally), rather than something that has to be created (and might be created unequally).

[Whiskey_Dickens]

@clairobscur

When I was about 4, I believed that some point (maybe around 6 or 7) boys were turned into girls and girls were turned into boys. Why I believed such a thing totally escapes me. My guess is that someone told it to me as some sort of joke and I believed it.

I had the same belief, around 3. I remember being in preschool and working it out in my head. For me it was woman into man. Why there were old women around was never addressed in my thesis.

[Whiskey_Dickens]

Oh and one final one. It’s a common one to have as a kid but no one has shared it yet:

I thought that the world was orignially black and white based on the photographs I’d seen, and the world somehow became colourized in the 1940’s through to the 1970’s.

[cochrane]

@Whiskey_Dickens

Oh and one final one. It’s a common one to have as a kid but no one has shared it yet:

I thought that the world was orignially black and white based on the photographs I’d seen, and the world somehow became colourized in the 1940’s through to the 1970’s.

No, that one’s actually true.

[Cartoonacy]

@ftg

? As, for example, one large old theater I went to in college did convert the balcony into a separate theater. Like that?

That’s the way I thought it was, but wrongly so. I remember when my family went to see the Batman movie in '66 (which means I was 6 at the time). The theater was packed, and we could only get balcony seating. As we were leaving, I peeked through the door and said, “Look! The same movie is playing down here!” My mother cracked up, and repeated the story to everyone.
(Note to youngsters: Back in those days, they didn’t empty the theater at the end of the movie. People would come in at any time, stay through the start of the next showing, and usually leave when it got to a scene that they had already seen. Hence the phrase, “This is where I came in.”)

[elfkin477]

In first grade I knew about George Washington, and Abraham Lincoln, the pilgrims, and had even heard of Harriet Tubman, but kept waiting for someone to explain who Richard Stands was, and why he was important enough to be part of the pledge of allegiance we said every day. I thought he must’ve done something really, really impressive, and couldn’t figure out why we never learned about him.

[chappachula]

@Cartoonacy

(Note to youngsters: Back in those days, they didn’t empty the theater at the end of the movie. People would come in at any time, stay through the start of the next showing, and usually leave when it got to a scene that they had already seen. Hence the phrase, “This is where I came in.”)

I’ve heard this before, but I just can’t believe it…It just doesn’t make sense logically.*
Even back in the old days, movies had plots. Why would you pay money fora ticket, and then walk into the middle of the story, knowing that you’d already missed something, and might not be able to follow the plot?

*except for one , unrelated fact: air conditioning. My grandparents told me that on a hot summer day, they would sit all day in a movie theater even if they didn’t like the movie, because it was the only building in the city with air conditioning.

[Velocity]

I used to think drinking fountains were gross because I thought the water ran on a continuous loop, meaning you were partaking of the saliva of everyone before you.

[Robot_Arm]

@Velocity

I used to think drinking fountains were gross because I thought the water ran on a continuous loop, meaning you were partaking of the saliva of everyone before you.

I thought soda fountains were like drinking fountains, only with soda. They must have been pretty rare, though, because I never found one.

[Chronos]

Similarly to joyfool and friedo:

I thought that customers at a store got a really good deal, because they gave the cashier money, and the cashier gave them money (the change) and stuff.

And I thought that a bank was “a store that sold money”. Like, you’d go in and pay a small amount of money, to buy a larger amount.

Hilarity N. Suze, my nephew had a similar misconception when he was young. His two older sisters always got to do fun things that he couldn’t, so when people asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said “a girl”. Because obviously that was the reason his sisters got to do those things, not their age.

And my sister, when she was young, would say things like that she was “soaking happy”. Because after all, “soaking wet” means “very wet”, right? So clearly, “soaking” means “very”.

[Velocity]

@Robot_Arm

I thought soda fountains were like drinking fountains, only with soda. They must have been pretty rare, though, because I never found one.

Similarly, I thought that gas stations drill gasoline straight out of the ground, like how water wells get water out of the ground.

[panache45]

@chappachula

I’ve heard this before, but I just can’t believe it…It just doesn’t make sense logically.*
Even back in the old days, movies had plots. Why would you pay money fora ticket, and then walk into the middle of the story, knowing that you’d already missed something, and might not be able to follow the plot?

But we sort of followed as best we could. Then when the movie began again, we got the back story, and everything fell into place.

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

@panache45

But we sort of followed as best we could. Then when the movie began again, we got the back story, and everything fell into place.

There was a certain charm in seeing what you could puzzle out as the show progressed, ended, then went back to the beginning and so on, until you got to where you came in.

I still preferred to start at the beginning, but it wasn’t a big deal if we didn’t.

[Belowjob2.0]

@Grrr

When I was very young:

George Washington isn’t smiling on the one dollar bill because he has wooden teeth.
I remember feeling sorry for black kids because I thought their parents never laughed or played with them. Or hugged them or showed any sort of love what so ever. I also thought black parents where prone to doling out ass whippings at the drop of the hat.

:o. Have NO idea why I thought that as my parents didn’t have a racist bone in their body.

• I also thought black parents where prone to doling out ass whippings at the drop of the hat.

Well …

[Belowjob2.0]

@Chronos

Similarly to joyfool and friedo:

I thought that customers at a store got a really good deal, because they gave the cashier money, and the cashier gave them money (the change) and stuff.

And I thought that a bank was “a store that sold money”. Like, you’d go in and pay a small amount of money, to buy a larger amount.

Hilarity N. Suze, my nephew had a similar misconception when he was young. His two older sisters always got to do fun things that he couldn’t, so when people asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said “a girl”. Because obviously that was the reason his sisters got to do those things, not their age.

And my sister, when she was young, would say things like that she was “soaking happy”. Because after all, “soaking wet” means “very wet”, right? So clearly, “soaking” means “very”.

Drenched in happiness. I like it.

[Shagnasty]

When I was really little, I thought that TV characters were little people that lived inside the TV. That may have been cute except I had very real plans to break open the TV to free Captain Kangaroo so that I could play with him. My parents stopped me before I could execute my plan (and probably myself).

I also didn’t understand perspective when it came to distance. My family took me to an night-time, outdoor Christmas concert when I was about 4. The singers were on a barge in the middle of a lake a few hundred yards away. The combination of darkness and still water made me truly believe that they were elves or dwarfs dancing and singing about 50 feet in front of us. I believed that for way too long.

About that same age, I knew all about exotic animals but I didn’t understand that they didn’t all live in the woods behind my house. I used to tell my parents that I was going into the woods to catch a gorilla and I meant it too although I never even spotted one because they are extremely rare in rural Louisiana apparently. Having a pet gorilla was very high on my list of priorities and I knew that, if I was going to get one, I was going to have to take matters into my own hands. A tiger was next on the list.