Hopefully this can stay out of the Pit. I promised my great-great-granduncle Lucy I wouldn’t wantonly start Pit threads.
Let’s share stories about monumentally dumb boss behavior. Not necessarily unethical or illegal behavior–though those are welcome–but primarily acts that were likely to have the exact opposite effect of their ostensible purpose. Acts that make you think the boss is a double agent for the competition. Things that make you seriously consider hiring an army of undead ninja robot spider assassins to kill the boss. Things like that.
I’ll go first:
Back in Christmas 2000, I was working at Sears in the electronics department. I’d been there for some years and was, if I may say so, a very competent salesman from both the customers’ and the store’s point of view. I could always answer a customer’s question correctly, or find the right answer quickly; I never tried to steer people towards buying more expensive items than they needed; and I generally got very high marks from mystery shoppers. And–most importantly from the stores POV–I not merely met but actually exceed the target for selling maintenance agreements. If the store wanted 7 percent of my sales to be MA’s, I’d aim for 10 and generally achieve 9. As MAs were where the electronics department made its profit, that was important.
So on the second Saturday before Christmas, I’m at work, as always, in the morning. I’ve come in early, as I always did, to count the stock, to clean the department, to make sure everything is pitch-perfect. Before heading out to the sales floor I check my MA score, and I’m a good two points above the standard for the month and three points for the year–tops for the department.
The morning starts off slow, though, for some reason. By ten o’clock I’ve only sold one MA eligible item, a DVD player. This particular one is cheap, only a hundred dollars (I know they’re even cheaper now, but we’re talking five years back), and the cheapest MA costs something like $99. I happen to know this customer will be coming back with his wife later to buy a big-screen TV, and my experience tells me not to even try to sell the MA on DVD player: it’s so obviously a bad deal that mentioning it will screw up the entire deal.
Five minutes later, just as business is picking up, I get a tap on my shoulder from the store manager. He pulls me back into the department office and says I have to spend the next half hour there, watching the MA training video. This will leave one salesperson on the floor, with about five customers waiting for help
“Why am I being pulled off?” I ask.
“Because you didn’t a MA on that DVD player,” he says. “Those are important to the store. They represent our profit margin. You need to go through the training again.”
(And, of course, be punished for not doing on this one item.)
“But the MA on that DVD player costs as much as the item itself,” I say. “It’s not a good deal. If I try to persuade the customer to buy it I’ll lose his trust, the trust I spent all week earning. I’m your top salesman, I’m your top MA producer. I know how to sell these things, and this customer shouldn’t buy one in my opinion.”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s to the customer’s benefit to buy it.”
“No it’s not. If I say that I’m a liar, and the customer will immediately see it. My JUDGMENT told me not to pursue that sale at all–to go for the bigger sale on the TV and get the MA on that, of I can. Plus people are going to have to WAIT for help while I’m back here.”
“Doesn’t matter. You have to learn that MAs are important (and be punished). Watch the video.”
At that point I decided to stop arguing with the letter. I sat down and watched the stupid video for half an hour. WhenI came out my coworker was surrounded by angry customers who’d had to wait. Said customers got even angrier as the store manager pulled HER off the sales floor for the same reason I’d been pulled.
This went on all day. Every hour, any salesperson who hadn’t sold an MA yet got pulled into the office to retake the MA training.
Next?
