Stupid judgemental fuckers

The BBQ Pit
1

Am I really a horrible person ? What the hell is wrong with me ? Why does everyone feel free to judge every more I make ? At what point did they become God ?

I really don’t understand why I am such a target, I don’t think I’m so bad. In the past week I’ve gotton so much crap abotu how I live my life and the kind of person I am, I just don’t know how to handle it anymore.

I’m a SAHM, I’m happy, my husband is happy, my kids are happy. We are not on welfare, we are not what I consider poor and we do not complain or ask for help with our finances. But for some reason 3 separate people this week told me I should get a job, since my kids are now in school full time. Of course, any job I got would not be good enough anyway. I feel that my kids need me home, I can get a job later, my kids will only be kids for a short time. I don’t care what they think, but I don’t want to hear it anymore.

I also don’t understand why my family’s problems are held against me. My mother has a lot of problems, she is an alcholoic, drug addict and suffers from too many other problems to list. The entire town I grew up in knew about her problems, she had quite a reputation with the police, fire dept. and ambulance corp. in town, since it was a small town it became impossible to hide. In spite of that, my sister and I grew up to be well adjusted adults. But I have suffered for my mother’s problems, we don’t live there anymore, but everytime we visit and run into someone, I’m treated like crap. These people will talk to my husband but never me, when I ask them how they are doing, they look at me like I’m crazy for even trying to be nice. They act like everything I do is wrong. They blame me for forcing my husband to move out of town , it was something we both decided , we couldn’t afford to live in town anymore, so they blame me for that. I can’t win.

For God’s sake, don’t they have anything better to think about ?

2

No, they don’t.

Doesn’t that make their life suck?

Chin up, you rock, and taking care of your family is a noble and wonderful occupation. Far better than occupying yourself by, say, obsessing about other people’s happy existance.

3

OK, now that I’ve figured out what a SAHM is… :wink:

What the hell is wrong with that??? Do you stay at home and kill kittens all day while your husband is breaking his back to support you (and your habit)?

I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m a narcissistic summa bitch.:wink: So when people are judgmental of ME for no reason, I always assume they’re hideously insecure, and therefore horribly jealous.

Try it. It works. :wink:

And granted, I’m only getting one side of the story here, but sounds to me like you’re getting away with an awful lot that other people aren’t:

You get to stay at home, when other people have to be at work

You got to leave the town which was supposed to keep you trapped in unhappiness, instead of sticking around and being miserable like any good, law-abiding person would.

You get to be a well-adjusted, happy adult, despite having had a whack-ass mother who should have contributed to lifelong feelings of shame and worthlessness for you

And that is not only unfair to everyone else, it is a MORAL ATROCITY, Missy! You load up your wagon and get back to that town, you hear? You get yourself to a soul-stealing 9-to-5, and you wipe that smile off your face, and maybe… JUST MAYBE… we’ll let you join the bridge club. :wink:

4

The fact that you’re HAPPPPPPY is all that matters.

5

I work with kids and I see it all the time - Mom’s and Dad’s who work-work-work and travel and come home at night only to see their kids to bed. I can’t help but feel sorry for those kids. I understand people need to make money and that’s another story, but good for you for standing up for what you believe in and being there for your kids. :slight_smile:

6

Didn’t you know that certain people in this world have a license to attempt to run the lives of others? For their own good, of course…

It’s apparently given out at the age of 17, based on the number of people in their late teens who come on this board convinced that they know what’s right for everybody, and continues through adulthood, with a promotion in late middle age when you are authorized to make public pronouncements about how evil the world as a whole has gotten since you were a kid.

I’m not sure where one gets this license, but it’s obvious from many people’s behavior that somebody in authority is giving them out.

7

I firmly believe that people generally have a desire to make everyone around them as similar to themselves as possible. If someone tries to make you unhappy with their words or deeds, it just means that they are trying to make you as unhappy as they already are. Take solace in the fact that you are pleased with your situation, and they are not.

8

The OP had an entirely different flavor when I was going on “Single Adult Hispanic Male.”

-lv

9

dragongirl, you are a target because you are happy.

A lot of it is jealously.

I get this mostly from my sister-in-law, who can’t understand how her brother and I can live debt free even with my habit of flying airplanes on a regluar basis. She’s exactly the sort of bossy, “I know what’s best for you” type mentioned in another post, she knows everything and how you should live your life. How is her life? If it wasn’t for a government subsidy they wouldn’t have a house, they’ve been teetering on the edge of bankruptcy for decades, their daughter … well, that’s a rant in itself, but between dropping out of high, getting a dishonorable discharge from the army, working as a stripper in Texas, and getting pregnant all by the age of 19 I’d say she’s been a busy gal. And, oh yeah, SIL and her husband beat each, occassionally spending time in the same hospital at the same time. They’re well known in their area, so the hospital staff made sure they had well-separated rooms until they cooled down.

And she talks about her “poor brother” and how his wife is a cold heartless bitch who won’t let him live near his family. Hey, he was living 500 miles away from them when I met him. You see, from her viewpoint, if her brother doesn’t beat his wife then she’s controlling him (that’s mixed up for her rationale for the two of them beating the crap out of each other). If we don’t have all the new toys like she does then we must be poor (instead of fiscally responsible - we don’t live beyond our means)

I used to get the simillar treatment from one of my sisters (although she doesn’t have the family violence, I must note) until I told her to get the hell out of my life. We didn’t speak for, oh, 10 years. It greatly improved our relationship.

They’re jealous

There are lots of working women who’d rather be SAHM, or even just SAHW - and they’re jealous of you.

Your small town felt you should follow the script of “no-good daughter of a no-good family” but you escaped - and all those left behind following their given scripts are jealous.

There are people struggling to make ends meet, both parents working like dogs because they have to. They perceive those who can have one partner stay home as wealthy (whether you are or not) and they’re jealous.

You’re happy - and all the unhappy people are jealous.

Live your life to please YOU. Happiness is a rare thing in the world and should be cherished. And your kids will have the best possible start in life, to be in a happy home where the parents genuinely love each other and have enough gumption to do what’s best for them instead of what other people expect of them.

10

You know, on one level I wish I could tell my wife to go out and get a job so I could stay home with the kids. Don’t the time pass far too quickly.

I don’t understand where anyone gets off telling you that being a SAHM is a poor choice.

11

hey, lady.

Your major difficulty is that you are a lady. Because in a similar situation, I would do something very unladylike, which is to tell the offending parties to go get a shovel and a mallet and pound gravel up their asses.

Of course I’m a 6’2" 340 lb man, so that sort of behavior is expected from ME.

Maybe you could just carry a can of pepper spray and spray some in their undergarments. They’d be a bit busy howling in pain to pass judgement on you. Specially if you do it while they are wearing them.

Otherwise, fuck 'em. DO what makes you happy.

b.

12

Ditto for me, with the “Single Asian Heterosexual Monkey”. :wink:

13

Something about a ‘Life Well Lived’ come to mind…

You are all right grrl, just keep on keepin on…

14

Very illuminating.

Thank you. :slight_smile:

15

Hey! I worked hard for that promotion, and I deserve it!! You want to take it away from me now? After almost 60 years on the receiving end? I don’t think so.

Dragongirl – they’re just jealous, all of 'em. Sounds like you’ve got a good thing going.

16

I, for one, am totally opposed to stay at home mothers. It’s just wrong, and it’ll screw up the kids for life. Ladies, get out there and work!

Stay at home dads, on the other hand, I’m totally in favor of. :wink: