Stupid lip ring... now this perfect plum is ruined!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I got my lip pierced yesterday. Bananas? Fine. Chinese food? Fine. I know that I need bite-sized food or knife and fork food.

But the last plum that I bought last week was just glowing at me. And now, how I glower back.

An apple, or even an under-ripe plum would have been fine, but the skin on this was supple, resisting on behalf of the fruit’s tender flesh. This fruit was a two-lip, slurping, erotic adventure waiting to happen.

Now my lip’s sore, my hands are sticky, and three-quarters of the plum is in the trash. Why do all my erotic adventures end this way?!

:frowning:

2

So, is having a lip ring like having a built-in dribble glass?

Think of the fun! Amaze your friends, confuse your enemies.

I’m sorry. I can’t think of anything more constructive to say.

3

When my friend had her lip pierced she had to carry a straw around with her for a month afterwards.

4

Shopping list: ibuprofen, straws, napkins, condoms. :smiley:

The annoying thing is having to have that conversation 100 times with people at schwork (grad school), since it’s my only current external facial piercing. Only had it once so far. 99 to go. They don’t want to seem like a jerk or a square, so they force mindless banter upon me.

Shoulda done it when I got my hair cut.

5

You should have got your belly button pierced instead! Doesn’t lead to problems with food! LOL

6

So, um, you…ah, need some help with that??

7

No – I was fine by myself… but I got myself covered in sticky sticky juice, so I had to take all my clothes off and soap myself up really thoroughly in a hot, steamy shower. :smiley:

8

I have now officially lost my train of thought :wink:

So…How you doin’?

9

How is she doin’?

She’s got a frickin’ hunk of metal sticking out of her lip and now she can’t eat yummy stuff!

Who’d a thunk it, eh?

Crimea River.

10

I like that! Is it pronounced “skwerk”? (Sounds like biting into a very firm plum…)

11

Outta my way, jerkwad! I wuz here first.
So, yeah. How you doin’?

12

Doin’ pretty good, penis and all! :smiley:

I’m straight, too, but we can continue to flirt if you want.

Yes, schwerk is right.

13

Dammit!
Greenback, carry on.
sigh

14

…as long as they don’t pierce too deep. :eek:

15

You could get your nose pierced. I get to endure endless jokes about my shiny silver booger. Or “how do you pick your nose?” Well I dont know about YOU but I dont pick mine.

I deliver pizza so one day this guy opens the door “Hey! Did you know you have a piece of iron in your nose?”

I am thinkin “HEY! Did you know yer a dick?” But I said " No its silver."

Him: "oh well what did it cost?

Me: " Forty bucks."

Him “WHAT! For two pizzas?”

Me: “Oh I thought we were still talking about my nose ring.”

And then there are the ones that want to know what piercing I have that they CAN’T see.

Oh I want a lip pierce! But my job says NO!.. corporate fascist pigs…

I use this tiny little nose screw for my nose… still against the rules but my boss ignores it… most of the time…

16

no no ace22. You were right. You were here first and I had no business moving in front like that.

He’s all yours :wink: