Anyone who has a Facebook page probably gets these type of posts. You know, the ones that say something like “In honor of those fighting diabetes, please repost this. Only 3% of you will, those who are my true friends!” Or some convoluted “repost this if you’re on the side of Jesus!” Gag me.
I’ve actually de-friended a couple of people because that was the only type of posts they put on FB. I would prefer not to have to resort to that again, and besides I like to fight fire with fire. So I am openly soliciting a) smartass responses to these posts, and b) seriously demented versions of these memes I can post myself. Anyone have any ideas?
In a sad commentary on the intelligence of the common FB user, many moronic statements and memes are propagated by those unwilling or unable to conjure an original thought or concept worth sharing. Only 1 in 5 of all users are intelligent enough to contribute actual intelligent dialogue and only 5% of those will repost this to show their support of this critical issue. Help us in our mission by reposting this across the internet to raise awareness of individualism and expression on the Internet!
WARNING!! As of today, Facebook will automatically start dragging the Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings > Planetary Settings > Trajectory then UNCLICK the box that says ‘Apocalypse.’ Facebook kept this one very quiet. Copy and paste onto your status for absolutely no good reason whatsoever.
I don’t like chain messages, but THIS IS IMPORTANT!!! Copy this text and put it in your status if you know someone or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don’t know anyone or even if you’ve just heard of someone who doesn’t know anyone then still copy this. It’s important to spread the message. And the hearts! For fuck’s sake, don’t forget the hearts!
BREAKING NEWS: The Pity Train has derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get Over It. Any complaints can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-waaa. This is Dr. Sniffle Reporting LIVE from Quitchurbitchin’. If you like this, re-post it. If you don’t, well then suck it up buttercup, Life doesn’t revolve around YOU!
I think the “funny” viral status updates are just as stupid as the “It’s kitten day! Repost this if you love kittens!!!” ones.
Just one more opinion.
That’s not to say I’ve never posted “I <3 Cancer” on a particular day when it seems like every single person on my friend’s list is posting “Repost this because CANCER SUCKS!!!” updates. Or that I’ve never posted a Snopes link as a comment when somebody is spouting off and “OMG, REPOST THIS RIGHT NOW!!” about obvious bullshit. But the Death Star awareness and dragon awareness and Facebook spying-in-the-shower awareness ones make me roll my eyes just as hard as anything else.
FACEBOOK has agreed to let a third party advertisers use your capitalized warnings WITHOUT your permission. Click on OHMYGOD up at the top where you see the Log out link. Select Privacy. Then select PANIC and OUTRAGE. Next select the tab that reads HELPME
Let me just preface by saying that I am not a very nice person.
When I saw a fb friend had posted the diabetes message today I thought about how she’s seriously overweight and refuses to exercise or change her diet or avoid problematic foods.
I did consider leaving a comment suggesting that doing those things might just help her find the “cure” she’s been looking for all over facebook, but it seemed like more trouble than she’s worth.
