Stupid movie comments

You know what my favorite Tom Cruise movie is?

You know that one where’s he that reall cool guy who’s the best at what he does, and then like something bad happens, and he loses it and can’t do it anymore because he’s lost his confidence and his wildness?

Oh yeah, and then he gets it back, and hooks up with the girl and matures some?

Yeah, that movie. What’s the name?

That’s my favorite.


I kind of liked Castaway, except for the part where Tom Hanks was alone. That part wasn’t good.


What I love about the Highlander movies is that they all fit together like a jigsaw puzzle, and the consistency provides a gestalt greater than the sum of the parts.


While watching Staying Alive I realized how much I miss legwarmes and lycra.

I liked Saving Private Ryan except I couldn’t tell any of them apart 'cause they all like wore the same-looking clothes.

Here’s an incredibly stupid movie comment which pretty much directly contradicts every piece of remotely objective evidence, but which has become accepted as gospel:

Titanic was a bad movie”

Take the red pill.

No, take both pills, get really fucked up.

Cut the red wire… no… cut the lavender one with the pretty teal stripes and the cute bow.

Even though you haven’t actually seen the body, go ahead and assume the bad guy is dead. I mean, come on, no one could survive all that and still come back, covered in blood, for one last attempt at revenge, right?

If the news reports say a maniac just escaped from the local asylum, and you’ve just noticed that the butcher knife is missing from the knife rack, and the family dog seems to have gone missing, and SUDDENLY the lights go out… the best thing to do is to go down to the basement alone with a balky flashlight and see if you can’t fix that pesky fusebox.

Here’s a real-life one:

Father’s Imbecile Girlfriend: I didn’t see Fellowship of the Rings because it was so violent, and I hate violence in movies.
My Wonderful Girlfriend: Well, yeah, it was violent, but the violence felt pretty appropriate. The story is an epic story, sort of like Beowulf.
FIG: I didn’t see that one either.
Me: Beowulf is an ancient poem, Naomi. It’s not a movie.
FIG: Well, I still didn’t see it.

Daniel

PS And to head off you smartasses at the pass: I know there was a direct-to-video movie of Beowulf. I guarandamntee you she is not aware of that fact.

So far I can’t tell. Is this stupid comments about movies, or comments about stupid movies?

I think the slowly moving device that is going to cause the hero’s death as soon as the bad guy leaves the room is the best tension device I’ve seen.

“I saw an action movie the other day, and it had a bomb in it, I think. I couldn’t really tell – it didn’t have a red digital readout. I mean, they said it was a bomb, but it didn’t have a glowing red countdown, so how were we supposed to know for sure?”

So, like, it’s some kinda sled?

I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called… “The bus that couldn’t slow down.”

I heard it’s like Speed 2, but with a bus.