Stupid News Headlines

Going through today’s headlines, I ran across several ones that, IMO, can only be deemed “so obvious it is stupid”. My fave so far is:

Real Life Slaying Horrifies Shakespeare Town

Well, duh. What would we think of the town’s citizens if they weren’t horrified by a real-life slaying?

So what stupid headlines have you seen today? I’m not looking for historical headlines, but from today’s news. Clever headlines do not belong in this thread either. Just the stupid stuff.