I was telling my kids this story the other day, and they didn’t believe me. Which is not unusual, because I often kid them. But my wife knows when I’m teasing and when I’m telling the truth, so her encouragements finally convinced them I actually did it.
Anyway, in auto shop class (31 years ago, high school), being quite bored one day listening to the lecture, I was watching a fly land on my desk, take off, buzz around, land again, etc. Suddenly in one of those bursts of eureka that come out of nowhere I decided I would put him on a hair leash.
The difficulty obviously was how to tie the leash on the fly. The fly is not going to sit still while you put it on. So, clearly, I had to hold the fly in one hand and tie the leash with the other hand. How to do that?
The first step I reckoned was that I had to tie a loose ‘pre-loop’ near one end of a long hair (longer then by several inches) plucked from my head so it would be ready to go when I had the fly. Catching the fly of course was easy. I’ve plucked them out of the air with a quick swipe as I’m sure many of you have done, but that showmanship wasn’t necessary. I just waited till it landed on my desk, a quick swipe and it was in my enclosed palm. I could feel it buzz/fly in the enclosed space of my palm. Now here is tricky part number one. I’m right handed, so the fly is in my right hand. Very carefully, I let the fly work its way toward freedom on the little finger side with slight pinching and relaxation of the fingers and palm. (They are hardy little guys; the pinching didn’t bother him in the least!). This step was very delicate, because one mistake and it would escape. But soon it was nearly free and I could see it. I then grasped the fly by one wing in my left hand (between thumb and forefinger).
Here is the second tricky part. I had the pre-tied loose loop on the desk. I picked up the loop end in my right hand with my thumb and forefinger and then maneuvered the loose long end so that my little finger and ring finger could hold that end against my palm. Thus I had both ends of the hair secured and by only slight movement (it was a very small loop) of the pinched thumb and forefinger away from the secured little finger/palm end the loop could be tightened in this one-handed manner.
So, I took the fly and inserted its head into the loop and slowly tightened the loop until it was smaller than the head. Very careful though, as one slip and its garrotte (sp?) time. (If you have ever seen a fly close-up, you know the neck is extremely thin.)
Voila, fly on leash. I let the wing go, and lo and behold, the fly flew around in circles above my hand on a 5-inch or so leash.
The amazing part is I did this entire process successfully on my very first (and only) attempt. Nothing went wrong; everything went exactly according to this well conceived plan.
I don’t know if the teacher saw me. If he did, he gave no indication of it. Same for other students. What I do not remember so clearly about this entire episode is what I did with the fly afterwards. I believe I just let him go still tied to the hair. Anyway, if that isn’t ‘mundane and pointless stuff I must share’, I don’t know what is.
