I just went outside for a smoke break, and while I was standing there, a fly landed on my glasses. Right on the front of the lens.
It scared me, then I realized that I had no reason to be scared. I blew him off.
Just thought I’d share.
Don’t worry, this sort of thing happens to most men every once in a while. Just relax and try to have a smoke break in again in about 20 minutes. You’ll be fine.
You can sit there and offer suggestions, or you can do soemthing to make sure I’ll be fine.
Quite obviously, you should be slobbering all over and kissing and sucking my glasses. If I try this again this afternoon, I’ll be damned if this is gonna happen again.
Just think how frightened you’d have been had that fly landed on the rear of your lens. It doesn’t seem quite so bad now, does it?
OR! What if you wern’t WEARING any glasses and the fly landed on your cornea! What would you think then??
I once had a butterfly land on my shoulder. I kind of enjoyed that though… So, um - I guess its not the same.
Nevermind…
I think that having a butterfly landing on your shoulder means you are truly blessed. If that isn’t a superstition, it should be.
Lucky fly.
(Squeamish people please skip this post. I’m warning you.)
My mom, while vactioning in Hawaii a long time ago, had a fly fly into her eye. It got stuck. And laid eggs. And the eggs hatched. She was one of no greater than 7 such cases ever reported at that hospital at that time.
Bet you feel much better about the fly landing on the outside of the lens now, huh?
Dirx
UncleBeer:
Whammo:
Or what if I didn’t have eyes and the fly flew into the empty eyes sockets and then landed on my brain? And he landed on the right spot to control my movements, and I involuntarily kicked that old lady wearing polyester who is on a perpetual smoke break?
That would rule.
imthjckaz:
Yeah, it wasnt as easy as you may think. Good think I had some Cervasie and my minature headphones and a Barry White CD. Even then…
Sir Dirx:
Now, Sir – I don’t know you, so please don’t take this the wrong way…but I am having a hard time swallowing this story. How did a fly get stuck in her eye? This “person infested with bug eggs and them hatching” has a very strong odor of UL. Are you sure yer momma just wasn’t yanking your chain when she told you this?
Say, what about having a 6’2", 220lb leatherclad Irish Metalhead landing on your shoulder? Because I was feeling a number of things at that moment, but sadly, “blessed” was not among them.
I remember reading about an insect called a screw-worm fly (or something), that lays its eggs in open wounds and upon hatching the larvae being eating the flesh they were laid in… I seem to recall it being a reliable source too, a sortof junior science magazene kinda thing I think. Can anyone confirm that I’m not getting confused here?
Bugs, worms, and flies like to lay their eggs wherever they darn well please; it wouldn’t surprise me to find out they lay their eggs anywhere. Speaking of eyes and hospitals, when I was a lab tech student, we learned about a hospital in Australia (I think) where the water got infected with Pseudomonas Aeruginosa (a species of bacteria), they used this water to keep the eyes moist from burn patients (who had bandaged eyes), and when they took the bandages off, presto! No eyes left. Just one big, festering infection.
*disclaimer: I have every reason to believe this is a true story, as it was told to us by our Microbiology instructor. I have no evidence to back it up, however. It was also 12 years ago - I may have misremembered details.
EXACTLY!
You might sometimes think that your glasses are a pain, but if you had no eyes you wouldn’t need glasses. From this I deduce that they just saved your life and possibly that of an old lady.
Oh, mais oui.
From Blood DC, Studdert VP: Saunders Comprehensive Veterinary Dictionary, ed 2, Philadelphia, 1999, WB Saunders.
screw-worm myiasis: invasion of normal skin wounds by maggots of *Callitroga, Chrysomya bezziana *and *Passeromyia *flies. Large masses of tissue may be destroyed and the case fatality rate approximates 100%. All animal species including human are susceptible.
I can also tell you anything you want to know about sheep and goat diarrrhea–I’m currently editing a book on sheep and goat medicine (and looking forward to reviving the goat porn thread when I get to the chapter on reproduction.
Whenever I am walking around campus in springtime, I find that a little white fly decides it will fly into my eyeball. Why? I don’t know if they are on a suicide mission or what, but it is starting to really tick me off. I mean, what right does a bug have to splatter itself against a vital organ of mine. Of course, it promptly gets stuck in the corner of my eye and it takes a few very long excruciating hours to get the damned thing out. Who knew something so small could bother my eye so much. I just hope that none of them are carrying eggs. Especially since I wear contacts most of the time. Ewww.
What kind of freak am I?
Just be glad it doesn’t land on the INSIDE of your contact.
I could post a link directly to a series of pictures, where a worm is being removed from a person’s eye. I won’t though because it’s gross and certain people will press the link and bitch.
I don’t think it could get behind my contact. I guess it could, but only after it dissolved and one of its legs or wings fell off. Yuck. 
I was in a staff meeting one time when a fly did a kamikaze attack on my boss. She was in the middle of chastizing us in general for a number of shortcomings and the need for being more professional (very serious discussion) when BAM!, this fly flew smack into the middle of her forehead, bounced off and landed on the conference table upside down, buzzing around in a circle.
As I was the only one who saw what happened, I fell off my chair laughing hysterically. She recovered from being hit unexpectedly and started giggling herself, leaving everyone else wondering why we were both laughing in the middle of a serious staff meeting.