Slight derailment: I just learned where the nym of one of my favorite posters came from.
Gee, I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you are endorsing my ability to make posts from my own POV. I realize what a great personal sacrifice that is on your part.
Aw, thanks. Most of my usernames across the internet are some reference to Futurama.
See: Squiddification, Certified Wong Buggalo, Ocean Madness
About racism, IMHO, the stupidest, most shortsighted, most counterproductive thing ever done in the area of trying to fight it was to try to redefine the word to mean “prejudice plus power”, a special definition known mostly in " social justice " circles (almost to the point of being a dog whistle) and vastly more expansive than the traditional meaning. When the very loose definition is used against people not familiar with the “in group” usage, it does nothing but confuse issues, alienate people, and cause harm to the cause. They really should have tried to come up with a new term rather than use an existing term in a novel way.
You’ve struck upon one of the things I’ve found most frustrating as a person fighting for social justice - there is no effective strategy. This is not effective communication to the point that it almost seems like a lapse in empathy. If a large number of people feel immediately defensive when you present your argument, then you’re probably not doing it right. ‘‘This is not about you,’’ (another common refrain) is not helpful either.
Now I’m getting pissed off about Evergreen all over again.
It seems to me that the double standard exists on both sides. You can certainly object to regarding all men as potential rapists, but not if you’re cool with regarding all Muslims as potential terrorists or all blacks as potential robbers. (Or vice versa.)
If, on the other hand, you maintain your objection to stereotyping one group but not another, well, one has to ask what other dynamic might be operating here.
It’s not about your hangups about dogs, it is about you expecting dog owners to do exactly what you are objecting to, to realize that their presence may cause discomfort, and to take a small effort to prevent that discomfort.
For perspective though, 31 dog fatalities, vs 325,000 sexual assautls.
Quite easily. First, as I did say “most women” and “most men”, leaving the fact that there is about a 10% gap of women who are physically stronger than maybe 50% of men. (These statistics are not highly researched and robust, but I doubt that they are all that far off.)
And any man can be armed as well. This is where they are equal.
And you are probably right in the context that if you are coming up on pretty much anyone on a dark and deserted street, you should probably note that your presence may cause them discomfort, and make a small effort to alleviate that discomfort.
It’s not sexism to recognize real difference between genders, and the real differences in obstacles that they encounter in their daily lives.
That’s a very poor analysis. I would say that to a black man as well. That if they are approaching a single woman on a dark, deserted street, they should take into account the context, and realize that they may cause some deal of discomfort should they overtake them or pass them closely.
Why should dog owners change their behavior because you have an unreasonable fear of dogs?
It’s not asking you to change your behavior, just to pay attention to how your actions affect others, and if you see that your actions can affect others in a negative way, taking small steps to avoid that. In some few cases, some small amount of action on your part could help to avoid causing anxiety of fear on someone else’s.
No one is demanding you do this, or even asking strongly, just that you note that there are contexts in which you may, with no intent of your own, cause someone else harm, and if you realize those contexts, then you can avoid doing them that unintentional harm.
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If you did that, that would be rude, and not in any way what anyone in this thread is talking about.
There is possibility that within the muslim community there may be those who suggest that they be careful not to spook the white folks, but for white folks to suggest that to muslims or others of arab ethnic appearance, would be rude and racist.
Do you not see the difference here between an community saying to its members, “Hey, we should avoid doing this, becuase it may cuase unintentional harm”, vs someone from outside the community demanding that do the same?
Well, yeah, that’s racist, but for an understandable reason. People who get attacked by dogs have unreasonable fears about them, people who nearly drown often have unreasonable fears about water. People react to things that have harmed them in the past in ways that, to someone who has not experienced that trauma, seem unreasonable.
If they take that racism and try to form policy against black people due to it, then that’s a bit different, but as far as personal preference, if being a group of black people makes them uncomfortable, then who are you to tell them that they must endure that discomfort? They may lose out on going to some events that otherwise they may have enjoyed, they may even lose out on employment opportunities due to their racism.
But, there is a difference between being uncomfortable around people, and advocating against their interests. Both are technically racism, but one you can keep to yourself, the other, by definition, you are imposing on others. I do not consider the first type of racist to be a “bad” person, even though I think that they would be a happier person if they were able to overcome their fears. (I think you would be a happier person if you could overcome your fear of dogs too.)
That’s racist. It is also affecting others. It is also based on conformational bias. And finally, it is a bad policy, because as you are following around the black guy, the white kids are robbing you blind.
That’s also racist. It is also dangerous, as a cop has a gun and is charged with keeping order. If the cop needs to hold those racist views due to a traumatic event, then that’s the way things will be, but he needs to stop being a cop until he can get over it.
Yes, it would be racist. But, as we have said a few times, trauma is not always rational. If I knew this guy, and he expressed racist views, I would try to council him against those, but, having empathy, and understanding why he holds those views, as long as he doesn’t try to inflict them on others, then I don’t think that that makes him a “bad” person.
Then you should probably avoid going out into public at all. There will be those who look at you as a potential threat, whether they be women, or just smaller men that think that your body language is threatening. People are going to think these things about you,m and there is not a thing in the world you can do about it, sorry about that.
Recognizing that there are certain situations where some effort on your part could greatly alleviate the discomfort of another part is not the same as the strawman you are throwing out here.
And how exactly is a woman who crosses the street to avoid you, or a man who crosses the street to avoid the possibility that a woman will be uncomfortable if he comes up on her hurting you?
And where exactly did I claim that it did? Show me quotes.
You didn’t read all of my first reply, and you didn’t go back to read it after I asked if you read past the first sentence. I said I didn’t care whether you would cross the street as long as you didn’t get defensive, and you proceeded to get defensive.
The girls who ran may not really have been thinking about you at all; how do you know they were?
If you are getting too close to me for my comfort, I will try to put some distance between us. Why shouldn’t I? I don’t know you. Why should I let you get close to me just to keep from offending you? Why do you object to other men being conscious of someone else’s feelings?
The onus is always on you as an adult member of society to control your behavior and your actions. If you cannot do this, then you will eventually be removed from society (ie, put in jail for your actions). And make no mistake, you are the one making the decision to think those thoughts, to not control yourself, and to do anything you’re stupid enough to do based on those thoughts and ideas in your head.
Because the simple fact is that you are entirely responsible for your own thoughts and actions. Period. There is no valid argument on your side of this.
That is because the rest of your sentences are utterly irrelevant. The bit of your text was just a jumping off point to my comments, not a very special personal post dedicated to you and you alone. When you make claims about everything revolving around someone, you really need to take care of that log in your eye before pointing out the mite in mine. If I don’t lovingly caress every word that you write, you may want to take the hint that it is not all about you. I’ll just make the blanket statement now that in all future posts I will not necessarily be talking to you and you alone, so that you can stop tossing and turning at night about me failing to give a bullet-pointed address of your every captivating word.
You may think that I’m stupid, but I’m not. I was the ONLY person behind them, and they kept turning to look at me specifically. I had no idea why until they broke into a run. But this wasn’t a secluded spot at night, this was the middle of the day on a college campus feet away from a busy road. I was over 100 feet from them, simply walking towards my apartment, where I had lived for years. Wide open, widely visible space, and if those girls thought they were about to be attacked in those conditions, then they were two of the stupidest morons to walk the face of the Earth. You seem to be under the impression that sincerely having a feeling makes it valid–but a feeling can be utterly sincere and still be utterly fucking stupid, and the person utterly fucking stupid for having it.
Since a good part of my point was that it’s not all about you, or even a little bit about you, this is hilarious.
No, it is ironic–you are saying that I think it is all about me while all you can do is whine about why I didn’t address every one of your sentences. You still don’t seem to understand this, so let me spell it out with smaller words: me and you not only people talk here. Me talk to every body, not just you. So when me quote part of you post, that not have to mean me talk only you. You project too fucking much. Got it now, or should I perform it with puppets?
If you’re not talking to me, then don’t quote me. I was talking to you, about your seeming issues with other men trying to be thoughtful, and you were the one doing the projecting originally, about what people think of you. I really don’t care what you think at all anymore, as you don’t seem to be able to pull your head out of your ass and look at things from another’s viewpoint.
About those girls who ran away, how do you know they didn’t just mistake you for someone else? Why were you apparently staring at them, as otherwise I don’t think you would have noticed them “looking back at you”. For that matter, how do you know it wasn’t someone behind you they were looking at?
Had you showered yet that month?
Judging from his interaction with eulalia, I’d say he was talking to them. When he saw them turn around, he said “Why are you looking at me? I pose no threat to you, but I bet you perceive me as a rapist, don’t you? Just like all women! You’re all judgmental bitches! BITCHES!”
They couldn’t run any faster.
As I said more than once, I was the only other person on the sidewalk. A sidewalk around 3 feet wide, with no other sidewalk to go onto. I was walking in the same direction, so “staring at them” amounted to nothing more than “looking forward.” I was doing absolutely nothing suspicious or wrong.
Look, I understand by saying that “if is not about me” is your way of saying that as a male I have no right to state (or even have) an opinion on the matter and that I should shut up, but I don’t give two-tenths of a rat’s ass about that very large and very obvious chip on your shoulder, so you are out of luck.
And as I said above, every time they looked back, you made eye contact. It may be perfectly innocent, but it gives reason to believe that you may be following them.
I think the one who has a chip on his shoulder would be the one who objects to other men being thoughtful and considerate, and objects to women looking out for their own self-preservation.